Annoyed that friend just told us to be punctual for dinner

It sounds like she just wants to spend time with you... Unless she is a horrible person, you are reading WAY too much into this and should practise assuming the best of people, especially friends.

Bloody hell, communicating with some people is a minefield.

Such a non-issue. Often, people who are late will ask for this because they know how easy it is (for them) to be late and they think the risk applies to others too. It’s hard for them to see that others really don’t have the same time blindness. Sometimes it’s also said because they think you might assume 3pm means 3:30pm because you know your friend is usually late. lt’s not a slight to you.

I think you're reading too much into it.

Just arrive at 15h.

I see no benefit in worrying about how she wasn't particularly punctual before.

I think you’re being rather hard on her. She’s clearly very keen to see you and wants to make an effort to host you and you’re getting annoyed that she’s said to be punctual and now you’re feeling turned off. Why are you focussing on that aspect of the invitation rather than the strong warmth and friendship she obviously feels for you? And I agree with PP who are saying that this is probably not aimed at you and not meant as a slight but just to emphasise the constraints on her time.

I wouldn’t assume bad faith, just that this is a real time start not a latin start time.

for most of us start time is a generic guide and not hard and fast rule. If the time matters we will say and usually give a fake start time as well. Otherwise come between the start and the finish all presence is appreciated

Eh? She's telling you what time to turn up.
Failing to find any offence at all in that, surely that's better than turning up when you feel like it /late! Can't be doing with people who are wishy washy and flakey when it comes to meeting up.

Op

@Purplevelvetshoes has absolutely nailed it

You need to consider cultural differences here OP. For someone from Latin America to tell their friend to be punctual it's a bit like they were telling that to you and (!) to themselves to start on time so that you can all spend more time together (since everyone knows that otherwise people tend to be late, and I'm talking 30-60mins late, not 5mins). I've had that many times so it's really nothing against you nor a dig at your supposed lack of punctuality.

However, I'm assuming here they're generally lovely people and you get on well, no real issues in the past.

So, my take on this op is that she KNOWS she can be bad with time. And she's taking on a lot hosting because that involves being good with time to get everything prepped and cooked and served altogether and hot.

She's stressed and she is trying very hard and she's really worried that something unforeseen will happen and she'll lose the run of herself. So I think she's said it to you but really she's projecting her own anxiety.

I used to be awful with time, really genuinely dreadful and it would cause me so much guilt and stress and when I did things like what she's doing hosting I'd have gone a little over board because in really really wanted it to be nice for people. I've got so much better now but that's my guess...

Either that or she's thinking she'll have to be the one to put her kids to sleep and you might need to leave early because of that because bedtimes can be really hectic.

In my culture (Europe ) 10-20 minutes late is considered polite when meeting at someone's home for more than an hour long visit; more polite than being exactly on time.
And some parties start time means "opening the door at", expecting people to just turn out at some moment within the first hour, as opposed to having a bunch of guest waiting around the corner ready to create a queue at the exact moment.

It's better to specify than assume.

Yeah it’s irritating. Blunt, and not necessary.

Asspirations of punctuality from the chronically late. Jajajaja.

She wants to see you. She's hosting and has children who go to bed by a set time.
She's thinking about how she will cope with her shifts and all.

So, she's saying - think less about the dish you bring but please rather arrive on time because I'd love to see you.

Not offensive. She's being practical.

I work for a Spanish bank. So being a bit late for stuff is culturally the norm, if she’s Latin but asked you to be punctual, she’s telling you to please be on time, rather than using Latin time. For whatever reason. It’s an acknowledgement that late/relaxed with timings is usually OK, but not today, please, thank you.

It what world is it strange when someone is cooking for you to be punctual?

Id absolutely hate it if I was hosting a meal and someone just rocked up when they felt like it. It’s really rude.

Don’t go if you can’t be arsed to go when she has asked 🤯

Reply with a joking - will be following your example lol .

I would read her message almost in exactly the opposite way:
She is not normally big on punctuality, but this time it matters. So this time she puts it in the invite.
It doesn't have to mean she thinks you're not an on-time person. Perhaps she knows SHE isn't an on-time person, and therefore you might reasonably assume her invite is approximately - but it is not this time, so she clarifies.
Speaking as a person with two always-late and two on-time siblings.

I’d be irritated by this. Someone who is routinely late to my events doesn’t get to turn around and tell me to be punctual to theirs. Their time isn’t more important than mine.

I’d be on time, because I always am, but I’d take pleasure in returning the annoying “make sure you’re punctual!” comment in future.

They are perhaps projecting onto you? They are frequently late so they assume others are too and so want to make it clear that 3 means 3 and not between 3and 4. Don't take it personally it's more about them than you and tbf it's nice to have clarity.

I mean don’t get me wrong I am partial to a bit of MN drama 😂😂

You get invited to something by your friend and she says oh be here for 3 yet you find it strange and come to post about it

That in my book is needless drama