Anyone else feel like an absolute slave today...Christmas day

My DH just does stuff.

We planned and bought DC gifts together and split the wrapping.

I made breakfast, he washed up. He started peeling sprouts this morning then I joined in and we prepped lunch together. I cleared table and tidied, he washed up. I prepped pudding and evening snacks, he cleared them up. We shared playing with / caring for DC.

He made me various drinks throughout the day too.

Didn't ask him to do a thing.

Yes a little bit but I’m very guilty of also pushing people away and trying to do everything myself so even when I am offered help I don’t always take it. I think it’s times like Christmas that make us realise how much we actually do to try and make Christmas special for everyone else. I’d maybe insist that next year he helps more. This year I did a lot of tasks to delegate to DH and the teens which they were more than happy to do

Ffs always one. You know damn well what op means, don't be a dick.

LMAO you what?? 🤣

He is a lazy selfish man but unless there’s some backstory of abuse which means you can’t speak up - you’re a martyr . Why didn’t you ask him to chip in when you saw he was shirking his duties?

No!
I wouldn't stand for it and neither should you.

I'm sorry you're a slave, but you don't have to be! I hope you can find the strength to change.

yes, mostly the same, but he cooks because i can't.. ( translated i can, but he won't let me) add nassisiatic mother and enough alcohol to fell a small rhino = best chrsitmas ever..... not.

Actually no.

L
T
B

I told DH I'd love to have his life today, having a wife who does EVERYTHING for him without him even having to think to ask. Think that hit him hard...

It's true though, imagine if the roles were reversed and lazy wives thought it was okay to sit and watch tv all day while husband raced around. My DH is nowhere near as bad, only a little bit of sitting about while I did stuff but that was enough for me! I'm obviously not saying this is all men but there have been a lot of threads today of women wondering why their men haven't lifted a finger... I somehow can't see a parallel "dad's net" with the same volume of similar parallel posts...

I've out YABU because you shouldn't be putting up with that. I left mine 10 months ago and never been happier

Why on earth are you doing that? I did the meals today and it was exhausting. Dh and my Dad did all the washing up, and there was a lot. It’s just a naturally fair split of work. None of us would feel good sitting on our arses while one of toiled away.

Are you a slave or a martyr? Get rid. My husband is cleaning the kitchen now while I finish tidying the living room after we’ve both cooked and played with the kids, planned presents together and generally did all the Xmas admin as a couple.

So many posts from women this time of year running around doing everything while their partner lays around like a lazy sod and does fuck all. Do you wipe his arse for him too?

Stop doing everything, and tell him to shape up or ship out- otherwise you’d be no worse off a single mum.

I am a lot older than you,different generation and can honestly say that my husband is a dinosaur…but he has always got completely involved in looking after the children, cooking and housework. Yes not very imaginative at Christmas, but did wrapping,clearing up and anything that I asked him to do ! What does he offer that is positive too your relationship?

Me dh toddler and baby. Dh did most of the wrapping the last 2 nights (we took turns while holding the ill baby who only really wants me). I do do all night wakes with the baby (Bf) and I’ve been sleeping rubbish so I was awake hours before everyone with the baby but when toddler woke I woke dh and he changed baby. Dh cooked us all a fry up. He tidied up while I went a walk in the afternoon with kids and my mum then he went and picked up our takeaway, we tidied kitchen/picked up wrapping paper together and tonight was my turn for toddlers bedtime (we take it night about). Sorry OP, get rid!

That would piss me off, he sounds like a useless prat. I hosted 10, had my dh and 2 sons constantly asking is I wanted them to do anything.

Yeah this sounds awful, I couldn't put up with it. DH did a massive fry up for me and our 3 kids (well 2, ones a baby). He did most the wrapping last night, got me amazing gifts, cooked the veg (perfectly), got the older two ready for and in bed while fed the baby, came down and he's clearing up all the mess. Don't settle for that crap. There's men out there who want to help and do it without having to be told.

What you allow will continue.

Op, I think at a point you need to put in place the boundaries that will give you the life and partner you want. So tomorrow when things are less hectic and you're less overwhelmed and exhausted, I'd try to get time just the two of you and I'd ask him what he thinks your role is in the home and what he thinks his role is in the home. I'd point out that you expect nothing less than a partner who does their equal share of the load and who doesn't need to be nagged to do it and who does it because they know its their job as a partner and a team mate to take on 50% of everything. So either he starts taking on his 50% or he'll be out on his ear because you're done taking on his responsibilities as well as your own. I'd set a deadline in your mind that you feel is reasonable and if he steps up then great, if he doesn't then you need to be ready to follow through.

Why are you serving him lunch when the lazy prick has lain on the sofa all day?

LTB.

I’m a single mum. Asked the kids what they wanted for dinner and the eldest volunteered to make it. We all bought and wrapped each other lovely gifts and shared the load re prep and washing up etc.

They’ve learned that this is how to behave because I divorced their dad when he exhibited unfair expectations while not stepping up himself. Set the right example for them by not tolerating this shit.

He sounds like a waste of space tbh