Emetophobia - gonna get flamed...

Emetophobia is so much more than than. It has the potential to really control someone's life. It's not just that people "don't like it"

It very much is a true phobia.

I've got this phobia too. I can't bear to read the posts but love to you fellow phobic

I completely sympathise - sickness is rough but OP's mum is an adult and she should be able to handle her own illness responsibly - leaving stuff with vomit on it in places where other people including children might touch them is irresponsible. OP - if it's any consolation you're not alone, I don't have a phobia but my dad vomited in the night and thought nothing of leaving a vomit-covered towel on the side of the bath where my 1yo and 4yo could (and did of course) touch it, didn't tell me about it and also lied when I asked if it had gone anywhere else. I was also livid and had a go at him for being so thoughtless. I'm sorry he's sick but that's no excuse for not thinking of others' safety

I don’t think you’re joking. I have emetophobia too (currently in CBT) and you could offer me £1m and I still wouldn’t set foot in a bathroom someone had been sick in. We have 4 loos in our house and a designated ‘sick’ one which is used for anyone poorly. I avoid it.

Everyone likes to be like ‘you’re intense you need to calm down’ but my emetophobia only became so bad when I became responsible for LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE! What CBT is teaching me is that my emetophobia is largely impacted by my stress levels and environment.

Please read up on this before commenting further. A phobia is very different from a dislike.

Has your child never thrown up? I have emetophobia (more that I'm scared of throwing up) and that was difficult when I had bad morning sickness when pregnant. My daughter had a vomiting bug as a younger baby and I just had to deal with it. Didn't have a choice. I think your parents need to leave though as the bug could be contagious .

Thinking of you, OP.
How is your mum, and how are you?
And the rest of the family?
Sending heartfelt best of wishes, for recovery for your mum and some peace for you. Because peace is what you need, the turmoil of anxiety is horrific in a situation like yours. Xxx

You are wrong! A true phobia can develop about anything. You clearly have absolutely no understanding of phobias.

Dealing with sickness is horrible, it makes you feel physically sick yourself, this is completely normal! But as adults however horrible and nauseous it makes us feel we have to put others' needs above how horrible it is. So yes I have lots of sympathy for you op and anyone else dealing with sickness (even self induced from too many selection packs!) But it's not a true phobia, it's a normal human reaction to feel like vomiting when dealing with other people or animals vomiting, not irrational at all because it is horrible, we basically put on disposable gloves and a bit of mind over matter!

Most phobias are completely irrational. People don’t just develop them about harmful things, they can be about anything. I had a friend with a serious phobia of cotton wool when I was younger.

Interesting info from a therapist for people with the phobia: I started EMDR a while ago but couldn’t continue as I couldn’t afford it, so never got beyond the introductory sessions. The therapist told me that although some phobias are caused by a truly traumatic incident, most develop after a milder trigger incident to cover something else up that we are ashamed of even though we were unaware of this. I thought about it a lot and I think I developed it after I threw up in a bucket at school in front of a whole class coming out of the school hall from their PE lesson. The vomiting was horrible (as it is for everyone) but didn’t scare me. However, when I went back to school a few days later, one of the boys who had seen me teased me about it. I remember being horrified because I didn’t realise it was something someone could be nasty about - why would they because it was so horrible for me? I’m pretty sure I’m autistic and as a child I struggled a lot with understanding social codes and what was and wasn’t acceptable, so I was horrified to have got a social code wrong’ by vomiting in front of people. The phobia started a few months after this. I think it developed along with a lot of masking because I was scared of people finding out that I was this worm-like creature (how I saw myself in my head) who wasn’t a proper person and didn’t understand social rules. So if you’re not sure why you have the phobia, it can help to keep asking yourself “what am I scared will happen and why?” Yes, you’re scared that you will catch norovirus and vomit, but that’s usually not the core fear - there will be something else at the heart of it that you’re not aware of. So the poster who developed this after someone threw up all over her at brownies - it may be that your phobia developed because people laughed when she was sick on you, or because you saw the absolute disgust in their faces and you felt it was direct at you rather than the vomit.

@AnxietyIsKillingMe
I'm exactly the same!
The avoidance is crazy. It does rule my life.
For me it also started at 6 or 7 when my younger cousin threw up in the back of my Dads car while I was sitting beside her.
This seems to have started at a young age for quite a few of us here...
I'm dreading New Years Eve and the thought of walking my dog on New Years Day

A phobia is completely different from a dislike, please understand this and be respectful. With a phobia you have no control and it prevents logical thought because panic sets in and you have to run away from the situation. Maybe it would help you to read up on this subject.

I used to have emetophobia as a child and teen, I empathise. (I still don’t like sick but it doesn’t run my life).

YANBU because sickness bugs are horrible and it’s good to try to prevent others from catching it.

Tell your mum to wash her hands after the toilet and touching her mouth, and the whole household to wash their hands before eating and not touch their mouths.

Disinfect anything commonly touched like backs of chairs, door handles and light switches. Discretely disinfect everything your mum touches.

Wash hand towels on a hot wash, everyone can use paper towels for now. Wash all clothes and towels that can survive it at 60’C and buy some of that anti viral laundry additive.

Remember norovirus is easily killed by heat above 60’C and chlorine. It’s not impossible to avoid catching it.

My mum was a childminder, she was very proud that she never had a tummy bug outbreak despite parents sending ill kids to her. She puts this down to encouraging handwashing and disinfecting the toilets after use and everything commonly touched. This is less extensive than the above suggestions.

Finally, do your research before considering this, but iodine is so strongly anti-viral if you drink a few drops in water it can prevent tummy bugs and stop existing viruses in their tracks.

For me its definitely the fear of it never ending and feeling like I'm suffocating and can't call for help. I imagine retching up my innards and somehow unravelling from the inside. My logical brain tells me this is ridiculous but I fear it nonetheless. Maybe I'll be the first person this happens to and nobody will care or understand?

Phobias can be debilitating but also quite interesting if you take a step back to analyse. For me, I suspect if its some kind of reaction to not being nurtured as a child, to feeling different, shamed, and treated with contempt by care givers.

@FishOnTheTrain Only once and it wasn’t bad, just one episode. Those gloves and spray are effective, I do all the door handles, etc. They think I’m daft but it works!

thank you for this.

dis you ever catch a bug from them? That’s my biggest fear.

I’ve seen so many threads on here over the last few days of kids coming down with noro. It scares me so much

I'd struggle.. mm. I wouldn't say I am emetophobic, I don't panic and I am not scared..

However.. and this affects me daily... I will vomit if I:

Hear others vomit
See others vomit
Smell others vomit
See goo/snot/spit/dribble particularly on people (and very much if on me, if its someone elses though Im not chuffed if its mine really).
See things that look like the above.
Think too hard about any of the above.
I am actually impressed I have got this far writing this post...there are days when I would not have!

I have been like this since a small child, as long as I can remember, the gagging and throwing up is uncontrollable and I did not 'do it for attention' as some adults claimed, nor have I grown out of it.

I was horribly travel/motion sick as a child and still am now unless in the front seat (And sometimes even then), I also have ARFID, and a sliding hiatus hernia which I do think are all linked.

For years I couldn't eat soup because it looked like spew and tbh, I struggle with most types of soup now, there are only a very few that I eat and I have to eat them with a spoon, I could not do a cuppa soup, or the types that are lumpy or have a rather glutinous (potato based) texture.

I manage with my own spewing without fuss and it is rare I make a mess (I have recently as I have started doing it with no warning whatsoever, I also spend a lot of time most weeks feeling sick but fairly confident I won't be sick, which I suspect has put my judgement off a bit), and I am not scared of being sick...

But if someone else is being, or there is something grim on tv or in real life that is 'sick adjacent' I have to get out of there and think about something else or I will join in.

In practical terms it means I can't be around babies/small children, dribbly dogs (and i HAVE a dribbly dog, we keep a lot of tissues around and I am almost immune to him now, mostly...), struggle with other people eating, have to turn various tv shows and films off, I don't drink or hang around with people who do, can't clean up pet vomit... or be near it (I can't actually clean it anyway. I have had to hide in other rooms til DP gets back if a dog has spewed when he's out!).

It isn't funny, it isn't 'for attention' or something I can just 'get a grip' about - it upsets me I cannot help a friend or loved one who is feeling unwell.

@FishOnTheTrain Mine are teenagers now and I found that I was fine with baby and toddler mess, didn’t bother me at all. When they got older, I was just honest with them and explained that Mum’s not good with upset tummies, have this bucket, I’ll go and put on rubber gloves and come back after the event.

Neither of them are emetophobic and my phobia has become a bit of a family joke tbh. Mum in her gloves with the anti-bac spray!

@AnxietyIsKillingMe its been a big factor in not having or working with children

absolutely same. The main reason I think about not having children is because of this phobia.

I have found my people
I have suffer from emetaphobia for as long as I can remember. My mum suspects I witnessed something at school which frightened me but if that’s the case, I’ve blocked it out. I’m 35 and haven’t been sick since I was 7. I think my body is too scared to do it. I do get regular anxiety induced diarrhoea tho.

The phobia massively limits my life
i I don’t drink, and avoid drunk people
I avoid public toilets
Fair grounds
Hospitals
And any ‘obvious’ places where vomiting is common

its been a big factor in not having or working with children

it is crippling
But as others have said
You ARE coping

i would (and have) sent someone home

I really think it’s the unpredictable nature of throwing up for lots of people. That’s where the fear is. You've no control over it.

@FishOnTheTrain That’s exactly what it is for me and why I can clean up afterwards if someone’s ill. I just can’t be there while it’s happening.

I think my irrational brain tells me that the queasy person is going to turn towards me and cover me in puke just as that little girl did decades ago. It’s ridiculous, but in the moment, I’m terrified of them!

Sorry nrtft just OPs posts; but in this whole situation this really stood out to me ‘I've been told to calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, grow up’
Who is talking to you this way when you are struggling with a genuine phobia? It doesn’t seem like it’s your lovely mum who you say takes it seriously and sounds like she’s tried so hard to not trigger your emetophobia (which is fine for her to do, despite PP saying she shouldn’t, she’s caring about her daughter and the fact she has a very real phobia). If it’s your husband, this is not okay, no one should be speaking to you like this it’s disgusting, especially if you have your child around. What a way to treat their mum who is struggling, what is that teaching them?!

Yeah, that wouldn't have done anything for me. My issue is the sound of other people throwing up, specifically. Seeing it in a pot would not touch the sides of my issue.

Fellow emetophobe here - to the extent that I cannot and will not take my uncle to any medical appointments in my car as he gets very bad travel sickness so we need to get a social worker to take him or cancel - I completely understand you.

IANBU and YANBU, we can't help it. We'd really love to be able to handle it, but we cannot. I literally start shaking. No one else can really understand. Your mother sounds like a lovely and understanding person with this, I wish mine were the same.

Same. The thought of ever throwing up again made me want not be here anymore. It’s so awful