Did my parents buy too much for DC?

I think it’s fine. Not all of it needs to be for Christmas, e.g. bike helmet and clothes. But it’s not crazy.

We have just come back from my in-laws with a large storage bag full of gifts for my two kids (plus one each from an aunt). Kids are 5 and 1. Right now i am overly tired and frustrated (long day), and all i can think about is that this massive bag of gifts is mostly tat that i will have to sort and organise, and will need to try to make room for in an already overfilled house. I also had a very minimal present receiving experience as a kid.

My issue, it seems, is more to do with my own sense of overwhelm and the clutter in my household than the gifts themselves (i am very lucky to have family members who wish to give my child things). It is the sense that these are yet more things to tidy up, keep track of small pieces, find space for, try (eventually) to convince child to part with. My house is already bursting as many of the toys from the first child were saved for the second child - so we really don't need as much.

Admittedly a small part of my issue is also that things are bought off an amazon wish list, but not from the list directly, so we end up buying duplicates (that's a future birthday present bought early ruined, and it is past the time i could return it).

The whole experience is a bit much for me, and i sympathise with your DH from that regard. It is lovely to have grandparents who buy lots, it is not lovely to have lots and lots of stuff. Although in your scenario the 'stuff' does at least sound like it is useful and needed.

It’s fine and I wish that my children (now teenagers) had had generous grandparents growing up, ours have tended to be miserly.

Until this year as they each got $50 from my in-laws__, which is unheard of and greatly appreciated by teens!

Ha it’s fine. “D”H is presumably embarrassed and thinks it makes his parents/family look bad. I bet if the situation were reversed he wouldn’t be so vocal.

Not all kids get overwhelmed either. My kids could open presents all day 🤣
My Dad got them loads and they loved the excitement of opening them all. Sounds like your husband has a massive chip on his shoulder.

Your DH would pass away if he saw what my parents get my nephews. He is a grinch.

I wouldn't count the clothes, a 3 year old won't notice these. Clothes just save you money throughout the year, win win.

Your husband is being a misery guts. My in-laws have gone completely overboard for our children - it’s definitely too much (think presents overflowing from under the tree for a metre in each direction including multiple big ticket items), and it is a bit overwhelming but I’m seeing it as incredibly generous. It’s not tat, while there is a LOT it’s all clearly carefully chosen and has been bought very much with the DC and their interests in mind. Our DC are their only DGCs and they were quite hard up when DH and his siblings were little so I think are really loving having the ability to spoil DGC at Christmas. I won’t be saying anything negative whatsoever but will be getting the kids to make really nice thank you cards.

You're right, numpty husband is the real problem here.

Not excessive in the slightest. Actually, I wonder how much you got your sc if your dh thinks that list is loads. very odd

Doesn't sound like a lot at all tbh

Don't think they actually bought that much really. The clothes shouldn't count at this age. 'D'H is being an idiot.

My parents (well really mother) have always gone overboard at Christmas. My husband who grew up getting one gift for Christmas finds that challenging.
His parents meanwhile buy the kids one often utterly random cheap gift.

My parents have toned it down and send money now though both my kids still got five little presents each from them! The other grandparents continue with random cheap gifts. The kids love both grandparents equally and don't care who gets what.

I don't think it matters or spoils Christmas. DH and I compromise on our own gifts (kids get two gifts from us, a stocking and a gift from Santa) and let the grandparents do what they will.

its really about what YOU think. Not your ‘D’H. This is you ‘D’H’s hang up. Don’t make it yours.

I’m not seeing a problem but do you think your DH is being transactional and is somehow embarrassed that your parents got more ?

It doesn’t matter and as you say, your DC is young and probably doesn’t care at all.

I’d try to see what’s behind it all and nip it in the bud.

It is a bit annoying when a GP buys loads of gifts at Christmas and then your kid is present fatigued and it becomes just about the GP. They are doing it more for themselves than the kid. They should realise that others are buying gifts for him too and it's too much.

sounds fine to me, not excessive at all.

my in-laws used to spend £20/30 on each grandchild.

my mum this year has spent close to £100 on each grandchild.

neither is wrong, each to their own

I'm sorry but what aunt/uncle, cousins, great relations or friends by 9 presents... its standard from GRANDPARENT not everyone.

Also most people do not get gifts from reems of people. In fact many peoples kids do not get anything from anyone else.

YANBU

Sounds fine, you shouldn't expect/demand that much but it certainly not an insane amount from loving grandparents. A nice mix and useful.

Your parents are free to buy as they wish just as his are... its not a competition.

Not excessive at all, I thought you were going to say it was a PS5, designer trainers, multiple toys or something. DS will only really consider the toys presents and there's 3 fairly normal toys there, nothing extravagant about it at all.

Not excessive at all, very similar to my in laws presents for my dc. They are being very kind and probably put a lot of thought into the gifts. Your DH is being a grumpy Scrooge.

It’s not just about these 9 presents. If parents, the other grandparents, and maybe 3 aunts/uncles all do the same, then the child has 50+ presents to open - before you even start on wider family and friends. Pretty tricky for a specially chosen gift to feel special in amongst 50 others - even if half of them are clothes.

I like the idea of directing them towards a savings account or premium bonds. Or suggesting a higher value gift, in lieu of the many little presents.

There we go then. They've saved you two the bother and got him something new. It's nice to put your kid in something new every so often. Is he jealous or something?

Your DH is being silly.

A jumper, a coat, 3 long sleeve tops and a cycle helmet - all practical and needed items that you have been saved from the cost of. And I imagine this was part of their intention.

He sounds a miserable fool. Imagine having that gift thrown back in your face.