A reminder to myself for October 2025

@dontpokethemommabear
I hope you have re-read this and are sticking to your revised plan.
No more being taken for granted and not appreciated.

This year I bought 2 presents for each of the daughters. The younger one I did a stocking of beauty basics and socks.
I bought my mum a present, my dh a present and sent thoughtful presents to 2 friends who no one will buy for.
Scrapped the walk, scrapped the Nigella breakfast Muffins and bunged the turkey in early.
Left the presents under the tree and there they stayed until 12.30 when the eldest daughter and partner emerged.
Everyone had croissants and jam for breakfast and were just as happy.
Used the airfryer for roast carrots and Parsnips so less juggling in the oven/heat etc.
Dd2 helped a bit with the dinner/dh peeled veg.
Everyone declared themselves happy with gifts. Mum was probably slightly disappointed to get chocolates from 2 people but that was the only fall out from me not micro managing gifts
I got lovely presents. Having ordered a lovely watch from my Mum and pointed out a bracelet from dh.
Took Mum home at 6 so I got a clear run at Call the Midwife and Gavin and Stacey.
My slimmed down Xmas worked brilliantly and from now on I will remember it.

Came back to say OP in October next year remind yourself to TELL your DH that catering for the family and his children shall be his responsibility, go out for a lovely brisk walk across the beach alone and if it is pizzas in the oven - make sure he’s the one to put them in. Do not lift a finger.

This isn't aimed at you (just your comment made me think) but I find the comments about people being unappreciative quite interesting, especially as so many families end up disappointed or arguing on Christmas Day.

I just wonder if all the effort and the fuss and the stress is actually what people want?

Sounds like you went to a great effort, and your menu and plans all sound so lovely- for what it's worth, I'd have loved it. Sorry that those you live with don't appreciate it- I agree maybe it's time to make less effort next year!

Clearly you can’t read so here you go:

“I’m sure you’d feel too bad to actually do it - but it’s fun to think about …”

I think I was probably like that when I was a teenager. I'd suggest you ask what they want next year and buy those presents. Then make sure you have plenty of food in and do what you fancy for the day at home.

Just look at how many threads there are about people being disappointed, arguing with their partners, feeling stressed or upset etc.

I feel so sorry for the kids at this time of year.

Christmas is meant to be about joy and love and instead they have to deal with the parents having too high expectations and then arguing and falling out over an inadequate Christmas card or putting the dinner on too early.

Just strip it right back.
Make it about the kids.

Cook a roast and have nibbles but it doesn’t need to be over the top.
Or just order a takeaway.

Have presents but you don’t need to get into debt over it and just buy for the kids.

Focus on the kids but spend most of the day watching Xmas films and eating chocolate.

They all want a chilled out one and you deserve a chilled out one too.

You didn't mention having an OH or dcs. I presumed you were single.

Perhaps you should read what I wrote more carefully.

OP I bet their mouths would fall open and FWIW your Christmas sounds utterly divine.

Please yourself next year - I bet your family haven’t even considered the possibility you won’t wait on them and will be utterly dumbstruck if you don’t.

Oh so leave her OH at home. I don't think many people would fancy that at Christmas.

That’s perfectly old enough to leave with their other parent.

@dontpokethemommabear dcs are 15,14,12,10. I don't think they're old enough to leave @ClementineChurchill .

One of the best Christmases I ever had was on a group walking tour of the Atlas Mountains in Morocco. It was an all women group - not intentionally, it was just that only women had booked onto it. About 12 of us, all ages and backgrounds from mid 20s to 70. Sleeping in local people’s houses every night. Cold water to wash in. Super healthy food. Beautiful scenery. Great exercise. Wonderful camaraderie - everyone was escaping from Christmas.

Just saying, OP … your kids are old enough to leave. I’m sure you’d feel too bad to actually do it - but it’s fun to think about …

I second this 👍

Chilled out is the way to go.

I’m sorry OP. You went to so much effort, it must be hugely disappointing to get so little in return. You deserve much better xx

I honestly think the reason so many people end up disappointed at Christmas is because they build it up in their heads and the inevitable result is that it all falls a bit flat.

I was raised with very low-key Christmases and it's something DH and I have carried on ourselves and I genuinely just don't recognise half the drama and angst that everyone on here seems to go through every December. It hardly seems worth it

I've really never understood why people go and buy loads of types of meat, multiple desserts and make plans to eat things and do stuff they'd never dream of eating and doing on any other day of the year, lol.

Chilled out Christmases are the best, honestly.

Ibuprofen for hangovers, not paracetamol. The strain on the liver can be dangerous.

You're putting too much pressure on yourself. I see it all the time. We see family before Christmas Day, then on the day MIL pops over for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We've had our dinner. (Slightly larger Sunday dinner). We're all in our comfies, no glam here lol Chilling, talking, opening presents, film on in the background, and just hanging out together. The whole point of Christmas day surely, is to do whatever makes you happy. No one else can provide that for you. If you feel that family are taking you for granted, switch it up next year 🙂

I'm not doing it next year. Really really not.

Even if 'no one else cares' .... i wish they'd be a bit more cheery!

Next year I want to be in the Canaries for Christmas. I’ve had it with the joylessness. Also the slurping and the burping. From two “ladies” over 70!!!

Oooh I wrote a thread like this recently - every Boxing Day I make notes for myself to read the following October for how Christmas went that year. Where had nice party food, which wrapping paper cut the easiest, anything to make next year incrementally easier. WELL... kids are 10 and 12 now and I've realised they would each be more than happy with some squash and a can of Pringles for Christmas lunch, so I am half tempted to give them exactly that next year (OK not exactly, you know what I mean).

2025 me's Christmas standards are going waaaay lower and I bet you anything no one even will even notice.

Sorry op but thats pathetic. Do you think the waltons are something to aspire to?? Get real and grow up.