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Original poster

For wanting to make me and my bf our own personal photo year advent calendar after reciving one from his brother and wife and 2 dogs?

65 replies

Laylalie · 25/12/2024 17:26

I MEAN YEAR CALENDAR

Ive been thinking about making one for 3-4 weeks ago but now my bf and i recived as chritsmas gift from his brother and wife an year calendar with pictures of them and their dogs and names and birthdays and anniversarys, even the dogs birtdhays, My birthday is not written there neither me and my bfs 3 anniversary either, only his birtdhay and some other people i have no idea who are and my bfs other siblings anniversary, but not my bfs sister or his mom or grandparents(his sister not sibling of my bfs brother). Ok anyways. Nice pictures of them and the dogs buuuut feels a bit off hanging a year calendar of someone elses adventures, would have come better of as a chritsmas card. My bf dosn’t know i had this planned either.. so there for i don’t want to come out as mean or rude or that i didnt like their gift.. the chocolates where nice tho, But the year calendar seems so impersonal to me. We don’t live togheter yet but will on february next year. My bf only see his brother on family birtdhays and barely talk on socials. So they don’t visit each other.

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Original poster
Laylalie · 27/12/2024 14:45

Thing is that they should have rather just put my bfs name on the gift than both of us. Since that gift had nothing to do with me. We got 2 gifts from them for both of us. 1 where chocholates and then the calendar. We really didn’t need the calendar tbh. I also feel is a bit impersonal to write someone names on a gift tag that has nothing to do with the reciver. Like «yea here is a calendar of us and our dogs, even tough we have you on facebook we don’t bother with your birtdhay, but here is the days of our dogs birtdhay!» like im a supposed to care or congrats their dogs and remember their day it weird

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Original poster
Laylalie · 27/12/2024 14:33

@coffeeandteav fr like i want to feel included 🤣 i uNderstand if we where only dating less than a year or sthm but soon 3 whole years🤣 i not that interested to see pictures of his brother and wife and their dogs every month for a whole year lol Neither do i care about their other families and dogs birthdays. I haven’t writed their birtdhay or anniversarys on mine, mostly bcs now or idk it will stay at my place or maybe i bring it and he wants to hang it up to.

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coffeeandteav · 27/12/2024 10:27

What Narcs!

If doing that for whole family surely you would include others not just themselves.

People are strange.

DreadPirateRobots · 27/12/2024 10:26

Maybe it's just me but I would find being gifted that calendar fucking hilarious. DH and I would hang it in the kitchen and make a solemn point of acknowledging the dogs' birthdays every year.

Yours with your dating anniversary would be even funnier.

Lovelysummerdays · 27/12/2024 10:19

Its a pretty rubbish gift. I wonder if they we’re doing one for someone else and there was a multi buy offer on. It’s not really a gift off you. Putting your name on was a token acknowledgement of your presence so they didn’t seem rude or have to get you a gift.

WaltzingWaters · 27/12/2024 10:06

Really weird of someone to gift a calendar of others people’s pictures to someone else. Self important much?! But I don’t think you can really say anything until you’re living together. Once you are, pop it down and put another up just casually saying how bizarre it is to have other people’s pictures up. If you’re lucky, he might think that himself and just not bother putting it up at all.

FelixtheAardvark · 27/12/2024 09:56

bonquiqui · 25/12/2024 17:50

I always think that personalised stuff of other people's photos is the highest level of tat. Why am I going to give up wall space for eg a massive framed collage of iPhone pics of your kids or wedding photos etc? That's for grandparents only surely. It tends to lessen after the first child (or dog in this case) when people lose enthusiasm or realise not everyone is obsessed with their life as they are.

Banish this calendar to a behind the cupboard door space and make one of your own photos if that's what you want.

On behalf of grandparents, we don't necessarily want it either.

Vinni8 · 27/12/2024 09:35

Crap gift, just forget about it

But I think it would be weird if they DID include your birthday and the date you and your boyfriend got together, to be honest. It doesn't sound like you know his family, and it sounds like a very new relationship so why would they?

How old are you OP? I'm in my mid 20s and I don't know many people at all who refer to specific "anniversaries" with boyfriends or girlfriends, it seems a little childish if I'm totally honest (sorry)

Original poster
Laylalie · 26/12/2024 20:49

@Sleybels yea thinking of it anniversarys are more for the own couple to remember they’re day they got togheter for them to do something special so i don’t really know why i or we need to know or what we have to do with their anniversary or the other siblings anniversaryes to remember like why. Because no one cares about when people get togheter🤣 but i will 100% write it down on our own even if not married. Because if we have one with only other people and their day then we might aswell have our own special one for us. Hell yea i want to be included in my own one when it gonna hang in the wall for a year!🤣
but said it was a (gift) from the dogs. I don’t think the other sibling got one since they allerady make with their own kids on

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Sleybels · 26/12/2024 20:37

Laylalie · 26/12/2024 16:55

@Sleybels it just be for us. Im not that tacky to give it to other people🤣. But i rather have our own with our own picturers and adventures, instead of someone elses. I don’t really care for other people pets or when they got it. Married or not who cares about other peoples anniversarys

it just be for us. Im not that tacky to give it to other people🤣

Yeah that’s how I’d read it 😆

I know - it’s more than enough to remember birthdays, I don’t even try to remember other people’s anniversaries! And I don’t care about their pets birthdays at all 😂

I really doubt they expect you to hang it up to be fair! It was probably a thing they were making for others and they just decided to include your boyfriend too. And if they do expect that they’re probably very self absorbed and will just need to deal with the disappointment 😅

Original poster
Laylalie · 26/12/2024 17:35

@poemsandwine fr, i dont even think my own siblings would want a calendar with pictures of only us🤣 i get that they are very in love with their new labrador pup but we don’t need pictures of it just because they are all over the pup and other dog

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Original poster
Laylalie · 26/12/2024 17:25

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon why so? I dont need calendar of them and their dogs every year. And be reminded of all their other families we dont even know.Who knows what happens by 2026 maybe he is not alive or me anymore (a bit dramatic i know) buuut its a whole year. I rather see pictures of us and our adventures than someone elses. Also he barely sees his brother and the wife. Prob 4-5 times a year we see them

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flyinghen · 26/12/2024 17:04

What a strange present

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/12/2024 17:01

Don't overthink it.

It was really a last minute gift for him, very ' kind ' of them to put your name on it too as you don't live together at the present time.

Shame you only thought about making your own calendar, too late now.

maybe you will make one yourself next year for the two of you.

as doing it now will just make you look petty/childish.

poemsandwine · 26/12/2024 17:01

Those calendars are top cringe unless you're a grandparent.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/12/2024 16:56

How incredibly naff

Original poster
Laylalie · 26/12/2024 16:55

@Sleybels it just be for us. Im not that tacky to give it to other people🤣. But i rather have our own with our own picturers and adventures, instead of someone elses. I don’t really care for other people pets or when they got it. Married or not who cares about other peoples anniversarys

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Original poster
Laylalie · 26/12/2024 16:49

@pinkdelight im making one for only us lol

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Thunderpants88 · 26/12/2024 09:58

I don’t even have pictures in our own hours of our own kids. I look at their faces every day.

I would bin the gift and let your actions speak. I’m past the point of caring about what others think and acting in a way that cares about their feelings more than mine.

i would very quietly bin it and move on. I would 100% NOT give the same shit gift back to them

toomuchfaff · 26/12/2024 09:58

Turophilic · 26/12/2024 00:47

I expect they got a whole set made up and gave them to all their family members. I had a friend who did one every year for her parents, in laws, grandparents on both sides etc (in addition to a proper gift.)

They were really cheap per calendar once she’d done the layout - under a fiver each.

Show quote history

Came to say this.

We just got one printed for our wedding photos (for ourself as a test), and we got to put on all the special dates and photos... then it was so cheap to add a 2nd, 3rd, 10th, the more you order, the cheaper it becomes.

Sleybels · 26/12/2024 09:57

pinkdelight · 26/12/2024 09:46

Surely it's just a (weird) thing they make and give you everyone. It's not about you. Don't read anything into it or take it down personally. And fgs don't make your own. No family needs two self obsessed weirdo couples giving their unwanted gifts to all.

The way I read it was OPs proposed calendar would just be for her and her boyfriend, not something they give us presents.

Or have I misunderstood?

Sleybels · 26/12/2024 09:55

Weird and rubbish present for sure, but I don’t see why it’s much an issue for you.

You and your boyfriend don’t live together do you? If he chooses to use this calendar more fool him, if he doesn’t - smart move. At least it’s not going to be up in your house though which is the main thing surely.

I think also where his family went wrong is pretending this was also a gift to you. It was clearly only a gift to their brother and you hadn’t been considered which is fine since you’re not married and don’t live together - but they shouldn’t have tried to shoehorn you into it.

If you want to get your own calendar made for you and your boyfriend of course there’s nothing wrong with that And I doubt anyone will be offended.

pinkdelight · 26/12/2024 09:46

Surely it's just a (weird) thing they make and give you everyone. It's not about you. Don't read anything into it or take it down personally. And fgs don't make your own. No family needs two self obsessed weirdo couples giving their unwanted gifts to all.

Kehlani · 26/12/2024 09:33

Laylalie · 25/12/2024 17:32

@Dartmoorcheffy probs. I expected my birtdhay there at least since the gift was for both of us. But i guess once we live it will be on drawer or sthm, maybe nice to remember his nieces and nephews birtdhays and brothers. But i really wanted make one of our own adventures. He hasn’t hanged it yet

Are they basically saying they expect presents for them and their children but won’t be getting you anything? Sounds like a deliberate snub.

Kehlani · 26/12/2024 09:32

Laylalie · 25/12/2024 18:10

@FrowntonAbbey its sound more like «we don’t care about yours, but here is ours!» would feel nice to be included. But my tough why give someone a gift that has no meaning in it? My number 1 worst gift i recieved this year🤣 would be different if it was only for my bf but it was for both. This is prob a hit for their parents and grandparents (i dont knot know and my bf don’t know all their other family), i can’t myself make me care about their dogs birtdhay or their aunties and other people i never ever meet😶

Edited

Your boyfriend should message them saying ‘thanks for the calendar but Layla’s birthday is missing from it. How am I supposed to remember when her birthday is now?’