Christmas with sulky teen?

Par for the course. I remember being a teenager with all that angst and raging hormones. He has my sympathies. If he made a gesture - gift/card, whatever - to acknowledge you and show a glimmer of appreciation I'd leave it at that. If he didn't though, I would pull him up on that.

I sympathize, had a really hard couple of days with my teen recently who got very emotional and upset out of the blue and wouldn't communicate at all. Thankfully today was fine though, it can be so hard! Especially when you're running on empty yourself. I never used to feel like a crap parent before but these days I'm out of my depth! apparently this is normal and we just have to hang on in there for a few more years until they come out the other side. Sending hugs.

My two are 11 and 13, they’ve been perfectly pleasant during presents, breakfast and dinner. Otherwise they’ve been pooping back and forth between their rooms and the kitchen/living room. I think it’s fair enough not to be around their parents all day - they want to talk to their friends and game etc.

We had a lovely family day on Xmas eve with buffet and games ages 6 to 75. Today DD2&DS2 spent middle of day at Dad's and then came back for meal and drinks with DD1. And DS1 andsister came for a couple of hours. There's no pressure on any one, eat don't eat , visit don't visit, I really don't mind. Everyone is always engaged and pleasant, as they are doing what they want.
I understand others wanting to have the "perfect day" but in my experience that leads to disappointment. Hope everyone has eat least parts of their day.

Teenage hormones, you’ve got to let them off the hook.

When I say quiet I suppose I mean sullen. Also, I’m not saying that the way my parents did it was right, lots of comments i see in general about teen behaviour just seems so different to how I was raised.

I really struggle with this at the moment and honestly don’t know what the best approach is. On the one hand I think it’s important to participate a bit but I think forcing teens to be around for the sake of it is counterproductive.

My parents were quite Victorian and expected us to be permanently “on” and around and it made me really resentful.

On the other hand it does make me sad that my teen wants to get away from us all the time. I don’t know what the answer is. Watching with interest.

DS has been fairly engaged during the main parts of the day (breakfast and lunch) but has hidden in his room in between.

He was a bit appalled to learn he was expected to wear actual clothes to lunch, having arrived downstairs in his oodie and pants, but quickly recovered from the annoyance

I’m fairly sure I also spent much of Christmas in my room at that age, if anything its been lovely and peaceful for me today

My two (almost 20 and almost 17) have been unusually present and cheerful all day. It’s been nice. But there have definitely been been years when they were a bit younger than they’d slouch off to their rooms.

Just sent mine upstairs because she was being grumpy. I'm equally as grumpy but I've learnt to hide it better I guess.

I think probably some combination of expecting them to participate and be polite etc and acknowledging they may want a little time alone is the way to go. At least that's what we try to do but at this point who knows.

I agree, I’m not sure if it’s right or wrong but as a teenager I was expected to be downstairs present and polite, it would not have been tolerated to skulk up to my room. We didn’t have any technology tho, there was only 1 landline downstairs in the office, I didn’t have a tv in my room, no computer etc. so I guess less incentive for me to be up there.

Totally agree with you. They get away with murder nowadays and are totally pandered to.

My 15 year old has been decent today. Went up to room after dinner 2pm yeh and popped down for dessert time a while later. His siblings were up at 4am so very early start and it's just been us as at home so whatever goes. Boxing day is always better, they have a decent sleep and will want to play games/be around us more 🤣

Let them be. Don't worry they will come theough and be lovely in a couple of years. It just takes time!

Same. It was a day that I was expected to participate in family stuff.

15 & 13yr old were both happy and sociable in church, for presents and lunch. Both been in their rooms for most of the afternoon, apart from DS who went for a run. They’ll appear again for dinner at 6.30pm and will be pleasant. Then I imagine will be back in there rooms for most of the evening. All absolutely fine with me.

Leave them to it

I don't understand people not being allowed to be quiet. There's a difference between that and downright rudeness but forcing people to be a certain way all day long doesn't sound great. Lots of people need a bit of downtime in an otherwise full day and that's ok.

I guess all families are different, but I personally can't see the benefit in forcing someone to socialise when they would clearly rather be anywhere else. He's had a family breakfast, done the presents and had dinner - why shouldn't he able to take himself for a break if he wants?

I can't really see the issue with this. I wouldn't want to have to spend all day switched "on" either.

DH and I spent the morning together - lie in, dog walk, TV and food, but now I'm downstairs and he's gone back to bed for a nap before we tackle dessert and leftovers later. I'm quite happy just relaxing in peace, to be honest. Christmas can be quite overstimulating and "busy" even if you're not doing much.

Did church and presents together this morning - all very civil !

now - 1 teen having a nap in room

Other 2 busy playing minecraft together

i’m snuggled on the sofa with the cat - chatting to DH as he cooks the Turkey

Absolute bliss!!!

it’s lovely being together but also lovely to all have a little space too and more likely to make dinner tonight go well than forced socialisation all day.

Kids, teens and actually people in general now are so used to instant gratification and getting everything they want when they want it. They have no patience for doing anything they don't want to do.

As long as they're quiet and not being rude then I'd let them get on with it.

I think parenting in general now is a lot different to how it used to be. Things now tend to revolve more around the child wether they be babies, kids or teens. Whereas it used to be the baby,kid or teen just had to fit in with what the adults were doing with very little if any allowance made for the fact they are not adults and have different needs and wants