It was you

Don't be silly, the poster asked Mumsnet users to do it...?

Yep, I recognised a friend’s sister who was asking for advice about helping her sis through a divorce (details were very specific to the situation). I don’t think it’s arrogant to name change sometimes - it’s prudent.

I identified my SIL on here. In searching her to confirm it was her, I stumbled across a post where she said she had secretly got married and had not told their parents. I told her I thought I had identified her (so she could name change if she wanted to) but never mentioned the wedding post. It's about 15 years or so ago now, and I still don't know if their parents know about the marriage. She's very anti marriage, but some life circumstances made her feel that marrying her partner was the only way to make sure that he was her legal next of kin.

I haven't even told DH. It's her secret, and I shouldn't know it, so I respect her right to privacy.

My now ex husband's OW recognised herself. I think somebody gave her a heads up as it was a specific story that was recognisable. She printed out 3 entire threads that were about their affair, my divorce and how hideous my life was because of their endless abuse and took it to the police. My ex also handed it to a judge at a child arrangements hearing. Police did nothing, judge ignored. Everything I had said was true, they just didn't like their behaviour being exposed 🤷🏻‍♀️. I still have the same name and I won't change it because of people like them.

Well done. Id have pretended to be someone who knew.

I once read a thread and identified the person and I had never met her! It was my sister’s ex husband’s girlfriend - my sister had been diagnosed with terminal cancer so the ex would be taking full custody of their 2 dc and the girlfriend was asking for advice on the situation.

Another time, I recognised the writing style of a friend - not massively close but we did text and Facebook each other at the time. I checked a few identifying things on google and it was definitely her. The world can be a small place!

Yes, it's happened to me. It was me they were talking about or rather she was talking about her DH and his interaction with me & my son to illustrate a point about him (he was being unreasonable).

I always think to myself "op must be hoping that they see this".

As if they dare not say a word about the event, grievance or misgivings in real life, and the ultimate passive aggression is to shout into the void hoping that the person responsible accidentally hears the shout and goes 'oh my goodness, look, everybody says op is not unreasonable. I must be unreasonable.' which a) unreasonable people never do and b) the odds of them ever seeing is are minute.

I was on a thread where the person was outed in real time and someone came on to respond, it was pulled.

It was a pregnant Mum who basically wanted to restrict her partner from seeing his existing child outside the school summer holidays in a highly convoluted situation. The situation was therefore easy to recognise if you knew her.

She had her arse handed to her.

I recognised my cousin on here once, very outing story she had recently told me then posted on here.

Reading this thread has made me change my username

Does that make me self important? 🤔

Fat fingers

ExH posted a thread about me while we were getting divorced, knowing I spend a lot of time on here and would be bound to see it. He presented it in such a way that he had everyone's sympathy. Lots of "oh you poor thing" and "your STBExDW sounds like a right cow, you're well rid". He hadn't lied exactly, just left out a few pertinent facts, and phrased things in a way that gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me look like the bad guy. It was horrible, real salt being rubbed in the wound. I was left with the option of wading in and having an online barney or just letting it slide, and watching complete strangers pile on and have a real go at me. I found it surprisingly hard not to do the first one, even though I clearly didn't know anyone and knew it was all a load of rubbish. It was quite a surreal experience!

It really makes me take stories with a pinch of salt on here now, and I often wonder what the other party would say if they got to put their side

A friend of my ex-MIL recognised the family issue I was posting about, alerted my ex-MIL who then advanced searched & found another thread I’d posted about issues I was having with my then DH. Caused all sorts of problems for me - beginning of the end of my relationship.

I now name change regularly!

It wasn’t about me but I recognised immediately the person who was being described in an AIBU. The person who posted it was mentally unwell and I knew all parties involved. I contacted a mutual friend and they discretely told them to remove it. I never mentioned it to the person who was very unfairly attacked. The interesting thing was that all the posters who leapt on to support had no idea and were very sympathetic to the OP. It has always made me wary about believing one person over another after experiencing this first hand. Admittedly the person who posted wrote some very specific things that made it very easy to identify them.

I didn't report them but MN removed all their posts in the end and I noticed it on other threads so they must have just been out to antagonise people.

That person isn't very bright, you haven't been able to namechnage on a thread for a while now.

Obviously you could have multiple accounts but namechange fail is a thing of the past

ExH posted a thread

I think someone was complaining about me a couple of weeks ago- xmas party where two families didn't attend....I may be the one who cancelled last minute but did send a message. Can't say it helped with the anxiety I was already feeling at the time. Will wait to to see if I get invited next year or not, as many people gave the advice not to.

I know, right. Same as the 'outing' hobby that always seems to be cycling!

Earlier today someone accused me of being the OP on a thread I'd posted on and said I'd done a "name change" fail and they were having an interesting time reading my history!
Just why. You'd think they'd have better things to do.

Yes! I’ve name changed when discussing something very personal — something I was slightly ashamed of — that I wouldn’t want people IRL to know was me.

No but two people on my thread once knew who it was talking about!

I recognised someone once and told her. It was something fairly minor so it wasn't a big issue.

It also happened on Baby Greenhouse (anyone remember that site?). I recognised a PTA situation and told her. She asked me not to read old posts of hers, because they were personal. I hadn't and didn't.

Does anyone remember the poster who was very recognisable, who said something she shouldn't about her husband's past? Some posters contacted the husband, because everyone knew his name and where he worked. Mumsnet ended up deleting every post she'd ever made.

I do get a few comments on my other username that strongly hint that people know my posting history and then I get a nasty dig that does make me think twice. I'm such a dull person, I don't get why anyone would advance search my posts but party sure they do. It's not flattery. It's from a place of hatred.

Yes. I don't want to go into much detail, but it was someone posting about something I had organised as part of my job. The situation was 100% recognisable. It wasn't anything I'd done wrong - more that she had concerns about an aspect of it. It was weird to see it on MN though. I didn't comment on the thread!