Heartbroken-greedy aunt wwyd

Do you have any idea how long it takes to hand knit socks! Sock yarn can cost a fortune too. I love my knitted socks and I've never knitted any for anyone else as they take soo long to do.

It would be helpful to state the actual country. In France for example, if there is no will then a sibling can inherit half and the spouse half.

Exactly what I thought.

My dad has a new partner. They dont live together and are not married but my aunt views this as a betrayal of her sister. I don't. Im glad he has someone and is not lonely. And she is a nice person

YANBU to be upset that you weren't consulted about the silver. Your aunt should have at least mentioned it to you, even though it belongs to your DF.

however, your update about your DF forming a new relationship is a significant one to consider. Do you think she has taken possession of the silver for fear of losing it from the family if your DF has formed a new relationship. It happens so often that a new relationship changes a lot of decisions that take place, including gifts, wills/inheritance etc

why don't you broach the subject with her honestly and openly to find out if this was her concern.

the other thing to bear in mind is that your DC may have no interest in the silver. My DH inherited all his parents' silver and it became quite a burden, it takes up a huge amount of space and as the generations evolve, collections of things have less meaning than they used to do when people stayed in the same house theIr whole life.

maybe a conversation with your aunt to understand things more fully might mend bridges, as it doesn't sound like you've had a proper 1-to-1 discussion as adults. It would be a shame to let some objets d'art come between you, even if they have sentimental value.

ETA apologies, I haven't read the whole thread, hopefully not a repeat of what's already been posted.

So actually you don't know what was said or agreed at the time and your aunt could be right.

OK, so - when your grandmother died intestate, everything passed equally to your mother, your aunt, and three more siblings. They divided it up among themselves. Your mother got the silver, your aunt and the others got things of roughly equal sentimental and financial value, by consensus.

Then your mother died, also intestate, and you and your siblings similarly inherited 100% of her belongings. Ten years have passed and you still have not divided them up; they're all still at your dad's house (I'm assuming that's where your mother lived when she dies, so they're just where they've always been).

Your dad should tell the aunt that he made a mistake and ask her to return the silver as it is jointly owned by you and your siblings and was not his to give. But maybe reconsider storing your stuff at his house long-term now that you know he's likely to give it away.

As for the aunt, you can cut contact for any or no reason if you want but if you are not going to do that, refusing to hear her side of the story and insisting on your own will likely put a strain on both sides of that relationship. Why not hear her out and if you're still not convinced of her claim, reiterate to her that the silver was not your dad's to give (nor yours, since at the moment it's equally "owned" by each person in your group of siblings) and she must give it back?

Side note - There are some (not many anymore) legal systems where the surviving spouse inherits all or part of the liquid assets and material property passes directly to the children - usually it's classified as something like "ancestral property", and things like family silver could fit that description. I think it's most common now in areas that use Sharia law. But even in England and Wales (before the reforms of 2014) there were cases where the surviving spouse received a cash allowance and goods passed to the children.

I don't know what jurisdiction the OP lives in, and perhaps she doesn't wish to clarify, but in French law, for example, children inherit a higher percentage of an estate than a spouse does. It's called 'forced heirship'. I don't know which jurisdiction would disinherit a spouse entirely in favour of the children, though.

The OP has already clarified that she's not in the UK so UK inheritance law doesn't apply to this situation.

Ummm. In law (unless your mother left a will) It was your father's to do whatever he decided to do. He may well have decided that it was worth it to shut her up. If it was me I would chop her off after one final message saying that you want nothing more to do with her and telling her why. I think even if she gave the silver back, I'd never trust her again. Not sure how old your children are but if they ask I would tell them in an age appropriate way that you are not friends any more. I have to say that I wonder why he didn't discuss it with you or your sibs or even tell you. Its a sad and horrible situation though.

Except it was originally the aunt’s parents, so the scenario could also read children trump nieces.

OP, your aunt doesn’t have her own family and is likely more attached to her nuclear family including sentimental items. For whatever reason she is hugely attached to this particular item. unfortunately it also holds sentimental value for you. But your dad agreed to this.

Also might be worth checking the law - children inheriting all makes no sense, you could make the surviving parent homeless.

Unfortunately, when your mum died, your father automatically inherited, if your mum failed to leave a will or failed to mention what she wanted for her belongings before she died

It was technically your father's to decide what to do with

The fact that your aunt mithered him into handing it over is awful, but your mother's belongings should have been dealt with when she died

I wouldn't trust your dad to look anything I hold dear and I would be holding your aunt at arm's length

You and your siblings are just as much family as your cousins are

Look at it from her perspective. This is her family's silver. Passed from a parent to a child to a grandchild. Except a grandchild didn't take it. Instead it was left with a former in-law who is partnering up with a completely unrelated woman. Understandably she would like it to stay in the family.

Because when you didn't take possession of it, it belonged to your father to do with as he wished. Which he did. Your father wouldn't have given it away if he saw it as yours.

It was her parents wedding silver !
This thread is bizarre. Let her have it.

On one hand awful of her the way she did it, on the other, it was her mother’s, now her sister is gone maybe she honestly just wants it because of childhood memories.

Do talk to your aunt and be clear the silver would go to your house, because she might be happy for her sisters child to have use of it, not her sisters husbands new partner.

I think children trump siblings and I would do anything I had to to get them back.

Surely this is on your dad? He gave her the silver. He didn't have to do that.