To think a sleepover shouldn't include 44yr old dad who stays up till 3am and is v loud?

OP, in the nicest way, you sound like hard work.

my sister said the older kids will want to catch up on sleep.
I would have said the same. I expect a sleepover/ gathering to be much later than normal, kids & teens being excited and not sleeping when they should.

People catch up on sleep in the morning, why would you want to ruin that?

I am sorry you are with a much younger child who doesn't sleep in, but you know at what time your child usually wake, it's completely BU to expect others to change their schedule for you.

OP: am I being unreasonable?

Everyone: Yes.

OP: no I'm not, you Karen's.

FFS grow up OP!! No wonder they didn't invite you.

do 44yr old dads usually want to join in with sleepovers?

You have a child so I am guessing you are an adult too, you wanted to join, so why should your brother be any different?

💯 % this

Why did you think a baby would enjoy an event where the other participants ranged from ten to 44. There aren't any other kids anywhere near their age. And why shouldn't they stay up late, the idea isn't have a load of people round and everyone says lights out at 10pm. Why have a 'sleepover' if it's not different from a normal night. Sorry, but I think you just had different expectations but it's certainly not your family's fault.

I am reminded of the time when one guest announced we would have Christmas dinner at 12noon to fit in round pfb's sleep schedule.

We said that wasn't happening. Pfb could fit round normal timing.

And do 44 year-old dads usually want to join in with sleepovers?

Yes, if it's a family get-together.

As much as babies want to. Probably more, actually.

The trouble is that your baby won't know it's Christmas. They won't know next year either.

Is it the baby's first Christmas? I can see why it's special to you, @AdhdNewMama But everyone else is so much older. And if they've been awake half the night, they'll want to sleep in.

I have great sympathy for you OP.

But I do understand that the older ones won't want a year-old baby climbing all over them on Christmas morning.

You told them your 1 year old wanted to be included? 😂😂Did he tell you that?

You’re just not in the same place as them.

The parents of the older kids have done their time raising toddlers, and now they understandably want to enjoy the benefits of having older children. I wouldn’t try to hold them back or get them to change what they’re doing, because toddler.

Sleepover? This sounds like a family party.
TBF I have teenagers and they had to be woken up this morning so I don't think it's unreasonable that some of them want a lie in or that they wouldn't get up with a toddler. I have been to lots of family dos where it just been me or my mum getting up with my kids and no sign of my siblings. These days I don't think my 13yr&17yr old would get out of bed for there 5 month cousin, I'm not even sure I would.
If your brother had shared a bed with his son they probably would of taken up more room than you and your toddler.
I don't agree with the howling and the sleeping situation sounds uncomfortable but maybe you could invest in one of those blow up childrens travel beds to cover the situation and it would of been easier. That's what mine had.

“I made it clear that my 1yr old would like to be included”

She did say she wants her kid involved... just because she said it in a way you deem unacceptable doesn't mean that's not what she meant. Yes small kids don't know what a 'sleepover' is but they know what their surroundings are and family environment ! That's the point I'm making , what you said is so silly and pointless. It all means the same thing at the end of the day. Op wants her kid involved regardless to how she explained it.

It sounds as if your kid is just the wrong age. If everyone else is 10+ they are going to have very little interest in a toddler. Your world revolves around your child and rightly so but being honest by the time my kids were 10+ I was so over babies and toddlers and much prefer get togethers with older kids/adults. You insisted that you were included and they did include you but you have to slot in rather than expect it to be centred around your young child.

This is presumably why they didn't invite you before

Turkey? Gross! YABVVVU. But one year olds don’t know about sleepovers with 20 year olds. One year olds go to bed at 8pm. It would be ok for OP to just say “I wanted my kid to be involved”. It’s ok to be honest.

Sounds like they organised a party, sleeping over so they could all drink and stay up late and sleep in without getting back home late at night. You thought it was more of a childrens sleepover and tou have a 1 year old. I think your expectations were way off but at least now you know. I would have probably put the baby to bed and gone and joined them. But equally, with a 1 year old you are probably tired enough to stay up that late. I think you have some time to wait until you will find this fun until your little one is a bit bigger and you want to let loose.

It's obvious more suited to adults and young adults. Maybe leave it till yours is a bit older

Why would OP get the big bed?

She has a toddler who can share a single bed or have a travel cot.

Her brother was planning on sharing his bed with his much older child and so they needed more space.

Come on, a sleepover with a one year old was never going to be fun. You romanticised some idea of DC waking up and playing with other kids (which was a reach anyway as one is too young to get the benefit of that), but forgot to think the rest of it through and are now being tragic about your being in your old bedroom, which was surely the most likely thing to happen and isn't so bad with only yourself and a baby. Course bro would get a bigger bed for him and a 10yo and couldn't have known the 10yo wouldn't sleep in with him. Sounds like they just have older kids and are used to doing this and having fun with it while you wanted to make it about the 1yo which is a bit impractical for everyone else. Sleepovers aren't for getting a good night's sleep so if you want that, sleep in your own bed and join them when you're awake and up for being sociable.

You should have the big bed though OP but don’t stay trapped in your room - after all, Christmas is family time!