To think a sleepover shouldn't include 44yr old dad who stays up till 3am and is v loud?

IridiumSky · 14/02/2025 22:37

Ridiculous!

Sleepovers have nothing to do with sleeping. 😀

TrueFashion · 26/12/2024 11:37

OP you are not coming across well here. Esp with misogynistic insults. I really hope you are getting it out of your system here, and not inflicting your dark mood on everybody else over Christmas. Some people sabotage their own happiness; don’t be one of them. You will end up the loser in life that way.

JMSA · 26/12/2024 08:18

When I heard they were doing another over Xmas hols I made it clear that my 1yr old would like to be included

I can't imagine your 1 year old would care particularly. You didn't want to feel left out so insisted on joining in. Fair enough. But you can't get pissy when it didn't go as planned in your head.
Sorry, but YABU.

Anothernamechane · 26/12/2024 07:58

Imagine coming to a website filled with mainly women to ask their opinion, then using a slur only used against women who have an opinion when you don't like the result

lionloaf · 26/12/2024 00:56

Sorry but I see why they didn’t want to invite you

Turophilic · 26/12/2024 00:30

I agree - not only are your expectations out of step with their life stages because of the age gap, you’ve been very rude to call a poster “Karen” as a slur.

MN is one of the few places on the internet where that sort of misogyny is challenged.

Saschka · 26/12/2024 00:22

Why come on AIBU if your response is to go “wah wah wah, you’re all a bunch of Karens!!1!1!”?

Perhaps you need a bit more sleep yourself OP? You are behaving like a one year old chucking your toys out of the pram.

eastcoasterly · 26/12/2024 00:19

I was ready to type out a gentle and empathetic response to you as I know how isolating and tough those early years were as a mum, then you threw in a Karen insult. Thank you so much for entirely misusing my birth name. I do not appreciate that one bit, especially when I'm sat here full of empathy and feeling sorry for you. Just what I needed to read after what has been one of the hardest days of my life, came on here to see if helping someone else may mean some good came of the day. Speaks volumes that you find someone's name acceptable as an insult of character. Kindly OP, learn to speak with more kindness and forethought yourself.

poormenagain · 26/12/2024 00:15

It’s too big an age range for a sleepover. It would make more sense to have the cousins play with and pay attention to the baby for a little bit then leave them to get on with the sleepover. It’s reasonable for you to have asked them to keep the noise level down while the baby was sleeping, though.

pinkdelight · 26/12/2024 00:07

Every single 'kid' at the sleepover would have spent a night in the house when they were much younger than 8 months old. It was always a way for family to spend more time getting to know the new additions to the family.

But they've been through that stage and are beyond it now. The age gap that means you're still with a 1yo means unfortunately for you they've moved on and don't want to revert to early starts etc, and there's no credit in the bank just because you put up with their kids when you were a teen. They're out of energy for that phase while you're in the midst of it. No one's fault, just incompatible timings.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 25/12/2024 22:16

ETA I just saw you called another poster ‘Karen’ so all my sympathy for you has faded........

Same here, OP.
Slurs like that are intolerable.

BobbyBiscuits · 25/12/2024 21:31

@AdhdNewMama There's no need to be defensive. I just don't agree that you have anything much to complain about.

IsChristmasOverYetPlease · 25/12/2024 20:16

You lost me at ‘Karen’.

Knowitall69 · 25/12/2024 20:15

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 09:37

So my sisters have previously ended up having a massive sleepover with their kids at my mum's house and this includes 'kids' who are in their late 20s to ones as young as 10 and I was not invited to the last one in summer. At the time I was on maternity leave and had a 8month old so I could have popped in for a bit, perhaps not to sleep but I could have been included..but I wasn't.
When I heard they were doing another over Xmas hols I made it clear that my 1yr old would like to be included and they all made comments about how they look forward to seeing him over hols. I imagined waking up in the morning and him having lots of cousins and aunts to play with but now I'm sitting on a single bed, in my old room with him playing next to me as my sister said the older kids will want to catch up on sleep.

This sleepover was not how I imagined, my older brother (44) came over and was practically shouting and laughing at the top of his voice at 2.30am, he ended up taking the largest room with king size bed with his son though via text he said he'd sleep in living room and he gave me the smallest room with a single for me and my toddler. His ten year old son ended up joining the other kids downstairs so he got a whole king size bed to himself.

Clearly I'm not a night owl but surely going to sleep at 3am is very late for a sleepover? They could have been a bit more considerate and not howled so loudly through the night? And do 44yr old dads usually want to join in with sleepovers?
I would have expected a bit more consideration.

And my mum actually told me not to go in living room - despite them he being awake - because she didn't want them disturbed.

I think the problem is that you are listening to a 1 year old.

TMess · 25/12/2024 20:10

Are you the youngest sibling by a significant margin OP? I am. I wasn’t really included in things they were doing when I was a child and my children weren’t included in cousin/older family stuff like this until they were 10+. I could’ve forced the issue like you did here but the fact is that despite having the same position in the family they are simply not in the same stage of life. Now my older three DC absolutely love events like that and my older nieces/nephews have babies the same ages as my younger two so it works out better for everyone.

Whaleandsnail6 · 25/12/2024 20:02

OolongTeaDrinker · 25/12/2024 19:43

I think the trouble is the rest of your family have moved on from the ‘little kid’ stage; 10 year olds are pretty self sufficient in these types of fluid party/sleepover situation but you are expecting things to be the same as when your siblings were new parents - but in reality it seems like everyone has moved onto a different phase of their lives.

It does suck as you probably have been waiting a long time for it to be your turn to introduce a new baby to the family, but it seems you are a bit out of sync with your family at this stage of your life.

ETA I just saw you called another poster ‘Karen’ so all my sympathy for you has faded..

Edited

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I think this post completely nails it.

OolongTeaDrinker · 25/12/2024 19:43

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 17:28

Where did I say I dictated how others would do things, I accepted sleeping in a single bed in the smallest room - there were three spare rooms in total, a king for my brother, a double for my nieces, a blow up double, and more additional sleeping arrangements in living room.

And to those people who clearly misunderstood and thought I meant my baby expressed an interest in being involved ...How idiotic, ofcourse the one year old didn't say this, I said I made it clear that id like my one year old to be part of the family get together, just in the same way that when all their kids were babies they were included in family get togethers and their mum's stayed over back when I was a teenager living at home and accepting that I'd wake up to a baby niece or nephew usually climbing over me and I'd pitch in and change nappies, prepare formula, get toddlers dressed etc...not that I was expecting any kind of help like that but I was expecting to be included in a big family get together.

Edited

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I think the trouble is the rest of your family have moved on from the ‘little kid’ stage; 10 year olds are pretty self sufficient in these types of fluid party/sleepover situation but you are expecting things to be the same as when your siblings were new parents - but in reality it seems like everyone has moved onto a different phase of their lives.

It does suck as you probably have been waiting a long time for it to be your turn to introduce a new baby to the family, but it seems you are a bit out of sync with your family at this stage of your life.

ETA I just saw you called another poster ‘Karen’ so all my sympathy for you has faded..

arcticpandas · 25/12/2024 19:17

You don't come across as very easy going OP and why start to insult posters who disagree with you? The whole point of AIBU is to get peoples opinions. The way you come across surely you can understand that they would hesitate to invite you. A sleepover is for older kids who can actually enjoy it.

Mockingjay876 · 25/12/2024 18:25

Sounds like your expectations of the ‘sleepover’ were way off. Nobody’s fault.

onehundredpaws · 25/12/2024 18:10

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 17:35

And you sound like an absolute delight Karen(!)

Every single 'kid' at the sleepover would have spent a night in the house when they were much younger than 8 months old. It was always a way for family to spend more time getting to know the new additions to the family.

Show quote history

Karen!?

Now you showed your true self.

🤮

Original poster

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 17:52

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 25/12/2024 12:06

I have great sympathy for you OP.

But I do understand that the older ones won't want a year-old baby climbing all over them on Christmas morning.

Thank you. Yes I appreciate that point and that's why I stayed in my room for a good hour so as not to disturb those sleeping and only entered the living room once I could hear my nephew's talking to one other so I knew they were awake. I said morning to them, grabbed a few toys and when leaving was told by my sister not to disturb them as they'd want to sleep ...that's where my surprise was.
This is the same sister who had a daughter who when she was 6 months regularly slept in my bed whilst I was a teenager during holidays/ exam period. I just accepted it back then as part and parcel of the holiday experience ...certainly wouldn't think my sister should know better than to visit with her baby ...

OP posts:

Original poster

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 17:44

Crazybaby123 · 25/12/2024 11:07

Sounds like they organised a party, sleeping over so they could all drink and stay up late and sleep in without getting back home late at night. You thought it was more of a childrens sleepover and tou have a 1 year old. I think your expectations were way off but at least now you know. I would have probably put the baby to bed and gone and joined them. But equally, with a 1 year old you are probably tired enough to stay up that late. I think you have some time to wait until you will find this fun until your little one is a bit bigger and you want to let loose.

Were a tea total household, not the point you're making I appreciate that but just incase anyone has this idea that is was some crazy drunken get together, not at all. We don't even celebrate Xmas as such.

OP posts:

steff13 · 25/12/2024 17:43

It was a family sleepover, why wouldn't your brother want to join? It's his family too, right?

I think it sounds like fun, but too much for a 1-year-old. I also don't think 3am is too late for a sleepover. You could have taken your child home when it became apparent that it was going to be a late night, and come back in the morning.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 25/12/2024 17:42

Tbh a 44 year old sounds more 'in place' than a 1 year old.

Of course they were going to be up late, and won't want to be playing with/entertaining a baby early doors.

Nerdlings · 25/12/2024 17:41

I can’t believe you used the misogynistic term ‘Karen’ for a previous poster. Rude and spiteful

Don’t ask people if you are being unreasonable if you can’t handle the answer.