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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel Christmas for 18yr old DS?

84 replies

Mothership6 · 25/12/2024 01:40

My DSS has been living with my MIL who is disabled for a couple of years now, as his relationship with his DM isn’t great. We found out a couple of weeks ago when MIL was taken into hospital with heart failure and given weeks to live, that DSS had been stealing money from her bank account on a regular basis. Whilst she was taken into hospital he had emptied her bank account of several hundred pounds and sold some of her belongings. He spent all the money on himself and his GF.

AIBU to cancel Christmas? We haven’t bought him any presents and said what we’d usually spend on him can go towards paying his Nan back. Others have said this is harsh?

He hasn’t even apologised and shows no remorse.

OP posts:
CheeseyOnionPie · 25/12/2024 02:38

Cancelling Christmas? He’s an adult and is thieving from an elderly vulnerable relative. He should be reported to the police. If he can do this to his own Nan he’s a danger to other folk out there.

LunchtimeNaps · 25/12/2024 02:32

I'd cancel his Christmas and call the police. This is unacceptable.

Original poster
Mothership6 · 25/12/2024 01:56

Asparename · 25/12/2024 01:43

Why is he living with his elderly and ill grandmother and not with his father? Not fair on his grandmother.

He didn’t want to live with us, at the time I wondered why but now it’s obvious there were far too many rules and no access to money.

We had no idea he was doing this! His Nan offered him a home as she lived local to his workplace and had a spare bedroom. His Mum kicked him out for being disrespectful. We thought he was being helpful, MIL would often ask him to run errands for her and he was always happy to oblige. He was getting money for running errands and helping out around the house, if he needed something- he only had to ask.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 25/12/2024 01:48

I think what you're telling us here must be the tip of a very large iceberg. This boy is clearly very disturbed and needs a more proactive intervention than having his Christmas presents taken away. Are there any drug abuse issues, or other risky and impulsive behaviour? Why is he living with his grandmother? When you say he hasn't shown any remorse, is he defiant, belligerent, or is it just completely flat affect? There's a lot to unpick.

I am so sorry you're dealing with all this. I hope your Christmas is as good as it can be with all this worry. Flowers

DreamTheMoors · 25/12/2024 01:45

He should be spending Christmas in lockup.
Merry Christmas to you, little thief.

90yomakeuproom · 25/12/2024 01:43

I agree, this isn't about Christmas, I'd be calling the police.

Asparename · 25/12/2024 01:43

Why is he living with his elderly and ill grandmother and not with his father? Not fair on his grandmother.

HelenTudorFisk · 25/12/2024 01:41

You are questioning whether you should cancel Christmas - he’s bloody lucky the police aren’t being called.
What a disgraceful piece of work he is.

catphone · 25/12/2024 01:41

Yeah but I think you have bigger problems than taking away his Christmas presents. He obviously has kind of problem with his impulse control, but it’s probably worse than that.