Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss Christmas Days of yore?

37 replies

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 25/12/2024 01:26

Until I was 43, my family, my husband and I spent every Christmas Day with my parents. My mum was an amazing cook. We had the best Christmas dinner. We literally left home an hour away and it was all done when we got there. Their home was festive and so welcoming. We didn't have to lift a finger because my mum did it all - she wouldn't have it any other way. Santa came to our house and also to my parents' house!! Even though sometimes our offspring preferred the boxes! Closest family for Christmas dinner and some wider family in the evening. Sitting around an open fire chewing the fat! A 'doggy bag' sent home so we could entertain the ILs on Boxing Day!

It's been nearly 20 years, how the hell did that happen! - and I still miss it so much! I've hopefully tried to replicate it for my kids but family members haven't been that close since my mum died.

One of my friends lost her mum this month and I feel so bad for her!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
fixingmylife · 25/12/2024 07:14

I lost my mum when I was 23. Christmas hasn't been the same since, and now over 20 years later, I don't care for it too much and find it very triggering. I feel your pain OP.

Imonmyway · 25/12/2024 07:11

My mum passed thr baton to me in 2021 but she still comes over to help prep the day before and early Christmas day to make sure it's all OK and thst is also a lovely new tradition we have!

ThePure · 25/12/2024 07:07

I'm cooking Christmas dinner myself for the first time aged 49! My dad always cooked and my parents hosted a big family Christmas with all
the extended family at their house. We'd travel and stay for the week. Amazing memories for me and my (now nearly grown up) kids.

My mum died in 2020 and my dad lost the big house in tragic circumstances so being hosted there came to an abrupt end and I miss it so badly. This year I accepted it's finally my turn to host the in laws and my sister is having dad but I desperately miss my own family.

CheeseTime · 25/12/2024 06:38

I am sorry you lost your Mum OP. It’s lovely that you have those memories of her and such a testament to her as a wonderful mother.

I was talking to my three young adult DC about this yesterday. The loss of that Christmas feeling as you get older and the responsibility to try and recreate it for the next generation. Happens to us all.

Thanks to all the parents who gave us these memories. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Rubytuesday77 · 25/12/2024 06:34

Used to love Christmas at my mums house. Would stay for a week and it was like a luxury holiday. The house filled with love and laughter. Makes me sad thinking those times are gone forever. Miss my mum.

ZippyCat · 25/12/2024 06:28

Never had anyone really cook Christmas food for me I've always been the cook 😂😂

BruFord · 25/12/2024 02:21

Rustyfeet · 25/12/2024 02:10

She was the family glue. My grandparents where the same

Exactly @Rustyfeet. Someone has to make a big effort and if no one takes over, the traditions are lost.

I’d keep doing it for your children, OP. They’ll appreciate your efforts anyway and think of you the same way as you think of your Mum. 💐 We didn’t have many extended family Christmases tbh. My Mum was an only and my Dad and his siblings regularly fell out! We had a few that were enjoyable when everyone was making an effort to get along. 😂

coxesorangepippin · 25/12/2024 02:12

Same her

It's only now I realise the effort that was put in

Rustyfeet · 25/12/2024 02:10

She was the family glue. My grandparents where the same

Lobsterteapot · 25/12/2024 01:55

My mum is cooking for us this year and I do tell her that it’s like an extra Christmas present for me!

FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden · 25/12/2024 01:49

I never really had anyone do it all for me. That sounds really wonderful and lovely memories 😍

mondaytosunday · 25/12/2024 01:46

Yes isn't it wonderful when someone else does all the work! I have a much greater appreciation of my mother now I'm a mother.