DH slagging off my Santa gifts

Perfect.

he's free to take care of the gifts next year then

Another vote for the "fuck off" option. as I clear up the debris of all my solo wrapping

I've gone overboard when the kids were small and honestly half of it was never used, you did the right thing and let him do it all next year😊

You may indeed!

Why not give yourself a nice gift this Christmas and dump your critical, lazy, useless h?

YABU to assume everyone should do Christmas your way. Dump him OP.

I totally disagree with the posts saying tell him to do it all next year. You shouldn't even be with him still next year!

He's a shit dad, who leaves everything up to you, then criticises you despite having made zero effort himself..And he also clearly doesn't even like you, what with the comments about you being boring..

Get through this year (where I'm sure your children will enjoy their gifts that you have got for them), then make plans to have a better Christmas next year without him making it miserable.

My reply would be...'right, now let's see what you've got for them'. 😁

He can either get involved and have an opinion on the presents or he can shut up snd be thankful he doesn't have to do it when he obviously doesn't want to. Leaving it up to you then complaining makes him an arsehole.

Ask him what he would have got them and then ask why didn’t actually get them himself, or suggest them to you. Was the role of getting presents allocated solely to you, was he supposed to be consulted on ideas?

I hope you told him that since he does fuck all he doesn’t get to have an opinion on your efforts?

Just say "we just need to add your gifts and it will be fine"

He's obviously feeling inadequate because he hasn't contributed and is making himself feel better by making you feel shit. What a lovely man!

I’d say….”These are just the gifts from me, haven’t you bought your children anything?”

Perfect response

As much as I fully agree he has no right to comment if he’s a shit dad, I don’t agree with you that if you don’t minimise gifts to your kids you risk them being spoiled. Spoiling a kid takes an ongoing effort. And restricting gifts isn’t the way to prevent that.

in saying that, I’d examine why uoure with him. I couldn’t be with someone who is a shit dad. And that for me, is a much bigger issue then him saying is that it over the Xmas haul, especially if you’re both quite drunk ie he’s been drinking as much as you.

'oh no DH, I've been waiting for you to pull the rest out of your arse, preferably already wrapped'

My partner has form for doing this to me too.
Does nothing but will criticise what I have done.
Over the years I have decided to concentrate on the kids and I refuse to do his family presents. Then I don't feel like I'm doing EVERYTHING!
I don't understand it. It can be a hard task and have to meet multiple criteria.. 1) in budget 2) things kids will enjoy opening 3) not wasteful and needed 4) yet still fun and exciting 5) same value as siblings 6) or if not same value, same sized pile visually... all planned for, cross referenced to Santa lists, payed for and wrapped in advance!!

It infuriates me every year that my partner falls short of what I would like him to help me with!

I would be fuming if my DH said this after contributing nothing! Ask him where his half of the presents are and tell him he can do it next year.

The answer to your question, “just because we could afford to spend more, should I have to?” is absolutely not!

Your DH’s attitude is proof (if any were needed) of the consequences of overindulging children to the point they become ungrateful, self-centred, inconsiderate, rude adults!

When out 3 children were growing up, our family tradition was for them to have two or three presents each under the Christmas tree from us (plus anything sent by relatives) and a stocking from Santa. Santa’s gifts always included an orange and some walnuts in the toe, a new toothbrush, toothpaste, flannel, bubble bath, a book, a fancy pair of socks, a game to play, a jigsaw puzzle, a colouring book with pencils, pens and other stationery, a winter hat/gloves/scarf, 2 or 3 small toys, a selection box of sweeties, a bag of chocolate coins and a small soft toy (that we left unwrapped) peeking out the top of their stocking. All three children were always thrilled with what they got. Now our two sons have their own children, they do something very similar for them, which suggests they still appreciate their own Christmas traditions.

Young children have no concept of the monetary value of gifts, nor do they distinguish between what adults consider ‘utilitarian’ and luxury goods. They are simply thrilled to be opening the wrapping paper and building little family traditions that will give them a lifetime of special memories.

Without wanting to sound smug (as I certainly made many mistakes as a parent and there are loads of things that in retrospect I wish I’d done better as a mum) I think we got the balance right at Christmas because all three of our children turned into exceptionally kind and considerate adults who continue to express genuine appreciation for any small treats and pleasures they are given.

Conversely, some of their friends who were regularly given much more as children, have become unhappy, selfish, inconsiderate and entitled adults who show very little appreciation for anything.

Keep going OP… your children will undoubtedly be thrilled and appreciate everything you’ve given them both now and as they get older.

This!

Why do women put up with men like this? Did you imagine you'd one day be saying "he's not really that great a dad" about your life partner and the father of your children? Whilst awful, this particular incident of your partner slagging off your gifts really isn't your biggest problem.

Why don't you demand better for yourself?

Perfect

Just tell him well if he wants to put his hand in his pocket and buy his children more his welcome too but given that you have done it all alone he doesn't get a say. What's that saying? Cough up or shut up. Time to ask santa for a new man in your life as clearly the current one needs upgrading.