To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

Op I feel your embarrassment. I would be also.
On the other hand, you have met someone you feel is special and you have given them a wonderful gift.
Hold your head up high, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's him who should be absolutely squirming and embarrassed and feel ashamed. Not you
Don't try and get it back for pretend it's for someone else.

Hold your head up high and chalk it down to experience.

If he doesnt end up buying anything for you, then get the blooming gift back!

I would rather be seen as weird for asking for a gift back and being £200 better off, than cringe and £200 down - not that you should feel awkward, you did a lovely thing. He should feel terrible.

Everyone is focussing on his poor behaviour and you have had some great advice.

I would ask after why after such a short time you bought a football shirt that’s about £80 and then spent £200?

I think he just isn’t as in to you as you are him at all.

You can actually be too nice you know, it’s a particular trait that women have and end up suffering from because it is almost always them.

When he messages you to thank you, if I were you I would go quiet…don’t respond. You’re busy opening your presents.

Really dont feel embarrassed. You did a lovely thing. He did not. Just be bright and breezy and then end it.
or you could tell him you’ve just received a really expensive perfume and earrings from one of your handsome male friends/exs and you’re wondering what to make of it….x

You shouldn't be the one cringing here OP.
But think of it this way, if at the start if a relationship you could pay a fee to see a person's true character and whether you would have a good future with them, say £200 (like having a survey before committing to buying a house) then most people would.

The Tom Ford cologne was your fee, it was a good investment in that you have your answer. Get the tight, lazy liar dumped.

And don't even bother answering the phone to him today.

That's a brilliant idea!

Don't feel bad OP, this is on him, not you.

As soon you bought him a birthday gift he should definitely have realised that it would be appropriate to give you a decent Christmas gift. I mean even without the birthday gift he should have given you a xmas gift, but that should have erased any doubt.

Don't be embarrassed. It's a lovely gift. My husband bought me very similar the first year we were dating (had been together about 4 months too).

He's the one who should be embarrassed. I find it even stranger that he's had time to pick you something up or order something and hasn't bothered. Pre husband I was in a relationship with a selfish arsehole. It doesn't get better. Don't ignore the red flags. You deserve to be with someone who wants to make you happy and appreciates you.

Text him now saying you’ve mixed up the presents and ask him not to open it. That it’s for your dad. And you will swap it with him.

Awww, op you sound so lovely.

It’s not YOU that should be embarrassed, it’s him! Christ if someone bought me a present and I hadn’t reciprocated I’d feel mortified!

And I was with my DH for 6 weeks before my birthday and he bought me a couple of gifts.

There is nothing more unattractive (to me) than a stingy man so personally, unless he turns up on Friday with that perfume, I’d be ending this relationship.

I hope he turns up with a present for you today. A good present.

You've been dating for 4 months. That's long enough for it to be an established relationship where you buy each other gifts for birthdays, Christmas etc.

If there's no gift then he's not a keeper. Meanness is not a quality I'd want in a partner.

I'd also tell him that I'd have never spent so much on his gift had I know he wasn't going to make any effort back.

Communication is the key to a happy relationship. Please don't feel too embarrassed to speak your mind, say what you like and what you don't like and be clear with your plans and expectations. That is a normal part of getting to know each other and maintaining a relationship.

If you'd simply said "shall we get each other Christmas presents?" a few weeks ago then you'd both know exactly what each of you was going to be doing.

Please don’t feel embarrassed. We live and learn. When you bought his gift you were thinking you would be exchanging Christmas presents. As other posters have said, saying things like “I’d like to get you this for Christmas” and talking as though something nice is on the cards, is very typical of some men who promise much but never deliver…or if they do deliver they will say they felt under pressure to do so.

You can’t win with these types.

Have a lovely Christmas OP. You have done nothing wrong. Be bright and breezy when he phones. Only good can come out of this as you have seen a possible character flaw early on which may have saved you wasting time on him! That is actually worth the £200 spent. It has saved you a fortune in the long run…

Op get the present back. Tell him it’s a mistake and you gave him the wrong gift. He doesn’t deserve that amount of money being spent on him. Please don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you paid all that money for a gift for him, he’ll be laughing at your expense!

OMG 😳😳😳

OP, you have got to get it back.

Tell him you want to smell it to see if your dad would like it and then DON’T GIVE IT BACKz

Jeez, OP. 😮

He's the grabby one.

If you don't receive a nice belated present rapidly, dump him before New Year is out.

Or maybe just dump him.

He can't even manage to buy you a present for the first Christmas together, be single for the new year - it's not grabby or entitled to expect a present from your boyfriend, it's totally normal.

How much was the Tom Ford? I saw they started at £90 😢

I feel he is bread crumbing you by mentioning the perfume. Keeping you hanging and then when there is no gift, you dump him he can then say you're a money grabber.

I did a similar thing last year. I'd been dating a man for six months. Got him and his two children gifts (just small ones) Then I got nothing back and then he ghosted me. He was a very wealthy man as well. Far far better off than me.

I still cringe a year later.

This will be your life if you stay with this man op. I've read your posts and just no.

You sound like a lovely thoughtful person and you deserve the same back. This man is not it. Give him another present. The gift of being single again.

Please update us op when you have dumped his sorry arse (I really hope you do) and tell him you’re not into shit game playing with empty promises of presents and that he better not use your club card again. Also be prepared for him to be full of apologies and begging for you to come back. All abusers do this, it’s just part of the script. Once you have them back they treat you even worse from there on because they know they got away with it the first time round.