To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

As you can see from all op’s updates…. He hasn’t got her a present, he hasn’t sneaked one into op’s house and under the tree without her knowing, he hasn’t posted one through her letterbox and he hasn’t come round to her house with one today. Neither has he gone out and got her a last minute present! Myself and other posters saw this coming. Unfortunately when people have been the victims of abuse, it’s much easier to spot the very early signs of abuse as it usually starts with emotional manipulation and subtle ways of building up someone’s hopes, only to pull the rug from underneath them. He was never going to give her a present, otherwise he would have handed her one when she saw him yesterday. He’s a selfish, self centred prick and I saw this coming to the point I could have told you yesterday exactly how this scenario would play out. I have had years of dealing with people who behave like this.

You are very naive!!

The OP asked for opinions, we gave them and she is fine, even thanking us but you just keep taking pops at us. We are allowed our point of view and just because you don't like it, doesn't mean we are going to stop having one. You seen very bitter and unhappy, almost hoping for a negative outcome.

People misjudge the situation sometimes and realise their error and make amends. In life, its how we deal with our failures that count and as the previous poster shows, its not always a negative outcome.

Go rain on someone else's parade.

Please stop apologising for this waste of space!! The op has already said this guy said he would buy her perfume, he hasn’t! Nothing more to be said! I wish people would stop throwing another ‘perspective’ when op has written in detail what this waste of space has done to her!!

I'm going to add a different perspective here- early days of dating, my now husband bought me chanel perfume, I was suprised and embarrassed I hadn't got him a gift. We were only a few weeks together, but had been colleagues/ friends already. Next time I saw him, after Christmas, I gave him a smaller, but sentimental gift of something we had been talking about on one of our dates.

You have nothing to cringe or be embarrassed about, you wear your heart on your sleeve and some will misuse but its what will make others love you! Just be you, its their loss if they don't realise what a diamond they have.

Maybe the lesson is to be a bit more reserved about the extravagance of your gifts and keep it small to begin with. You do you ...and let them be them. Some guys just need to understand your hopes and expectations. But in fairness, as you gave him a birthday gift, he should have realised you were a giver and it needed reciprocating.

Yes. Don't reply. Block if you want. Move away from this guy in your head. He's a drain. You're opening up to better things.

Nah that's not on OP.
Set the bar high now and ltb

I wouldn’t even reply to him now. What a clubcard cunt.

Thos. You deserve so much more than this.

The perfect response!

Run babe. It's Christmas irregardless of how long you been together.

He has shown you how he will treat you for the rest of the relationship.

Don't lower your standards because of him. Unless you're willing to accept it if he can offer other things in the relationship.

I like @orangewasp s reframing of it. Don't beat yourself up, or spend more precious energy worrying for now. It's Christmas.

Don't reply at all.

Just take this onboard as a life lesson.

This. It's actually a good thing that he showed you so early on that he's stingy. You don't want to have DC with him so you dodged a bullet.

Let it be a lesson OP.
No doubt he will be back on to you as he sees you as the perfect soft touch with money and low esteem.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk for yourself for 2025.

Stay the hell away from men with children
They make awful partners and are usually selfish, mean, looking for a skivvy aupair for their children.

You deserve so much better than that.

Buy the book "Women who love too much"
Every woman should.

I think all this reflects very well on you. You’re generous and he’s mean spirited. Hold your head high and think of the story of the Christmas Carol. Scrooge turns his life around by being generous. You’re the good guy here. Clubcard cunt needs to be embarrassed

OP, reply and say that was a goodbye present.
He is an idiot.
Maybe leave it till tomorrow, if he has his children with him today. Just leave him in read. Go enjoy your Christmas and dump him tomorrow.
Do not worry about the money. That is meaningless. The important thing is that you thought of making him feel special and appreciated on this day. Well, he did not. That has something big to say about him.
Yes, for next relationship, put thought into first presents, but not so much money. Let the man lavish you, chase you, impress you. As he will want to do if he values the relationship.
This was not your failing, but his.

Agree, don’t reply.

Or if you do, just bright and breezy “Glad you like it. Happy Christmas”

Much as I would want to say “Ah, opening my gifts now - people have been so kind and thoughtful!” I’d probably resist. It doesn’t sound as though he is insightful enough to read between the lines though!

I have to agree. Personally I would feel extremely uncomfortable with someone I’d only known a few months spending s couple of hundred quid on me. It would feel way too much too soon

Yes he should have got a gift but after just 4 months I would be thinking a small gesture gift rather than splashing out

I'd reply 'glad you like it, it'll be your last and an expensive lesson for me. Merry Christmas.' and then block.

I wouldn’t be replying at all op if it was me

i wouldn’t personally. It would sound ridiculous. I would expect a small gift. Having to ask completely takes the good out of it.

Woman. Stop being embarrassed and cringing. Right now. My DH bought me a necklace, an antique book, and wrote me a fucking love letter. I bought him a fucking WATCH. This was after a month. We got lucky I suppose as we'd been inseparable and "knew", but it makes no difference.

You 👏 have 👏 done 👏 nothing 👏 wrong!!!

Sod him! He's a user and also useless. What a prick.

Yep - OP should read Women who love too much in the New Year.