To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

Don't say you thought.. you know he did.

Couldn’t you say, I thought you said you were buying me perfume for Christmas? You could text him now. See what he says. I don’t think you should let it go just because it’s a bit awkward to ask.

Op if this isn’t the last date then I’m afraid you’re a doormat. His continued and no doubt worsening behaviour is on you for allowing it

Seriously OP, why are you still entertaining him; stop making passive aggressive Clubcard comments and get him dumped.

OP, since he obviously views you as inferior, can you rub your talents and achievements in his face for a while, if you're not going to break up with him asap? Demonstrate huge confidence in your own value. That will drive him nuts, and he might start to put you down. Then you'll see the abuser underneath more clearly.

TLDR" Getting everyone a nice present except your girlfriend, especially when she got you one, is an act of aggression.

There can be no other reason except to upset her. It's like an underground war. Do something really horrible and then pretend it didn't happen.

I’d of flung his arse out the door before dinner and wrapped his up for the freezer for me to have later in the week.

what a tosser

OP, if you break up with him, be prepared for him to offer you the moon and the stars, be full of sorrow, etc. Suddenly you'll be the most amazing creature who ever graced the earth and he'll want to flog himself with a switch of branches for being such a moron.

Don't fall for it. It's part of the cycle of abuse. He does something crappy and pretends he didn't. She either puts up with it (Yay for him! Open season!) or calls him out, at which point he becomes Little Boy Lost and wants her to save him from being such an idiot. All will be honeymoon until the next time.

Abuse follows a well-worn script.

Just think how malicious his actions have been over Christmas. You're the woman he's sleeping with, is exclusive with, and supposedly has feelings for. He lorded all his nice purchases for others over you, ignored your hint about the perfume you like, accepted a gift from you, got you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in return, not even a card or chocolates, and all he can do is focus on what you spent. Saying he hopes you didn't spend too much when you gave it to him (how rude!) and again the amount when he'd opened it. Again, so rude.

And the fact that he got his family and friends really nice stuff and nothing for his girlfriend speaks volumes. All abuse of this kind is rooted in the male's utter conviction that his female partner is beneath him. He KNOWS that she's inferior in every way. (See the Lundy Bancroft book that's already been recommended to you, "Why Does He Do That?". And the way he's treated you this Christmas is very much in line with an abuser's thinking and way of operating. Especially the rubbing your nose in the nice things he'd bought for others.

Please read If He's so Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? Recognising and Overcoming Subtle Abuse by Avery Neal.

I hope you trust the opinions of the women on here. We're not in a relationship with him, so we can see how outrageous this is. Many of us have been there, done that with these horrible men who think they're superior because they're men. I do hope you listen to us.

Dump him AND get that cologne back!

Oh course she did, don't want to be rude but she's coming across as desperate

What an absolute prick. He didn't get you anything and there was plenty of time after you put the present under his tree. Get rid!

I agree it is abuse. I almost wrote the other day that I feel he’d either deny saying he was going to get her the perfume or he’d try to downplay the fact that op is upset about it and make it sound like it’s not a big deal. And lo and behold he’s twisted it to try and put the idea into op’s head that it’s not a big deal by pretending to be ‘oblivious’ about why she’s angry. He knows exactly why she’s angry!

Oh, I didn't. That would have ruined the stage-setting for abuse that's being laid out.

Please OP say you didn’t have sex with him after this?

So what are you going to do?

OP, shit like this is the beginning of abuse. PLEASE dump him. This will only get worse. Just reflect on the fact that he upset you over Christmas and is now masquerading that nothing happened. He's a creep, a bully, and a massive, massive tit. No good can come of a relationship with someone who treated you like this. Get the cologne back and then dump his arse, I beg of you. Who the bloody hell does he think he is???????

Yup.

Completely agree.

If he sent you a picture of the one he wanted, it was a huge hint to get it for him. Please don’t feel embarrassed, he should have felt awful, got an emergency gift from Tesco and had that with him today. The fact he didn’t speaks volumes.

Ew no. Nothing worse than a mean with money person. Bin him off.

Shops are open, worst case he could have got something lovely and pretended he'd been planning it all along. Throw him back OP, this one is crap.

Also he came to yours for dinner? No offer to contribute towards the costs of the food, no wine or anything after using your club card? Like I said op he’s a user. He’s fleecing you for all he can get out of you and can’t even buy you a gift in return. The early red flags are there, don’t ignore them.

Hope you didn't shag him.

It almost seems that he's testing how much shit treatment you'll put up with.

He seemed oblivious to why you’d be annoyed? That’s called ‘gaslighting’ my love. Please do your research on gaslighting.

He told you he was going to buy you some perfume. The perfume never materialised and now he’s apparently ‘oblivious’ as to why you’re upset/ annoyed. Nah he’s not oblivious he’s doing it on purpose. It’s a little game he’s playing. He promised you something now seems oblivious to the fact you’re annoyed and making you doubt yourself! See what he’s done he’s twisted it back on you to make it look like he’s done nothing wrong and you’re annoyed for no reason. He knows what he’s doing op. Get rid of him!

So not only did he not bring the promised gift, he ate your food and didn’t even turn up with wine, chocolates, flowers, dessert?

Please don’t see this man again op