To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

Ah, I'm sorry OP, I had been really
hoping he would turn up with the perfume today and he's a bloody useless shit that he didn't.

I reckon dump him and be honest about why: eg 'I think it's best if we leave it there. I find stinginess really unattractive. Best of luck, goodbye". And block.

Onwards and upwards OP! You'll find someone who matches your generous spirit soon enough.

You may have spent alot of money on him, but it was worth every penny to find out what he was really like. He's wasted enough of your money, don't let him waste your time too x

She will. Thats why men get away with treating women so badly as there are always mugs like her who will be treated like a door mat yet still oblige. Tragic that someone could have such low self - esteem, really.

OP, get that cologne back. Say that on reflection, he's absolutely right, it was too much. Even if he's opened it and it's non-returnable. give it to your dad. Anything so that HE doesn't have it.

When that's done, dump him on either the 30th or the morning of the 31st. I agree with another poster that that's fair returns.

He's been aggressive towards you. He should not get to keep that gift.

And yes, getting nothing for your girlfriend while going on about all the stuff you've bought others, and while accepting her gift pre-Christmas, is an act of aggression against her.

Exactly. And this isn't simply about the guy not getting the OP a Christmas present. It's about control and the message he is choosing to send by deliberately choosing not to, despite knowing the OP got him a lovely birthday and Christmas present. He is gameplaying.

Awful. There would be years of this zero treats or gifts. At least you know op. Get rid.

Ugh I was hoping he'd bring a gift with him when you saw him, I far prefer to see people opening presents so I don't like giving mine in advance to go under the tree for Christmas day and I was hoping it was that and he just hasn't communicated it. Imagine what he'd be like after years together if this is how he is at the point where people are usually still trying to impress. At least you found out now.

He’s definitely gaslighting you. He knows he’s so wrong for treating you like this!

Instead of quietly resenting him and letting things simmer or hoping things fade out you should take control and just let him know this isn’t working (via text) no point dragging it out!

He’s going to be annoying you each time he contacts you so it’s best to make a clean break now. Send a clear message that you don’t tolerate this disrespect.

In this case Op had not only recently got this guy a birthday present but also gave him a Christmas present before the 25th, so there was no need for him to guess.

Any decent person would know they should bring a Christmas present - he also already indicated that he was getting her perfume which has not materialised.

This. He's set his standards. In the toilet. You either dump or accept that this is as good as it gets.

I'm married and we ask each other if 1. We are doing gifts and if we are then 2. What the other one wants. Not very romantic but saves any guessing and being irritated :)

Have you dumped him was this to his face or by text

if I’d seen just the wine like I said before he’d of been flung out of the house there and then.

oblivious my arse he knew.

He sounds miserable. I’d rather be single to be honest. Get rid op, you deserve better and I wish you had bought yourself a gift instead of one for him! Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Start the new year by ridding the baggage and not settling for less!

did you ask him where the perfume was?

If you don't dump him, then you are accepting his behaviour. He won't change. He's cheap and a user.

Stick to your resolve op
No Explanations or excuses needed to your soon to be Ex
”It hasn’t worked out” is enough

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but he’s had his chance. What a loser he is.

It makes me wonder whether he played this knowing it was his birthday then Christmas.

You’re lovely OP and one day you will meet someone as generous of spirit as you.

No doubt, if confronted, he would say he has children to buy for etc etc. Mean people justify their mean behaviour in numerous ways. Start the new year as you mean to go on OP!

You said you were frosty with him. Did he notice and would he have known why? Or was he oblivious?

@menopausalfart

DH and I are like this too. In the past we have been short of cash and had £5 limit on gifts. We’d be able to get nice little things for that without it being a big deal.

I once suggested that DH and I not exchange Christmas gifts and just buy for family and kids. He couldn't stand the thought of not getting me something, so I compromised on small, silly gifts. This year, I got him a tin of Bob Ross sweets and he got me a Groot hot water bottle. It's all about the thought and nothing to do with either of us being materialistic.

OP, do not doubt yourself with this 'maybe a bit petty' stuff. You know that's just a line used to make women think that them asking to be treated respectfully and fairly, is them being demanding divas who are asking too much.

Right, now he's definitely got you no present at all and not even a lame promise of one being on the way, you should absolutely get rid. I like the earlier suggestion that you don't link it to this, as that opens up the (unfair) criticism of being 'materialistic' - instead, say you've gone off him and don't want to continue. I think personally it would be fair returns to do this on NYE, having already made your own plans for the evening. But whenever you do it, ditch this washout of a boyfriend.

What a prick. Anyone who can turn up empty-handed to a meal with a new girlfriend, regardless of Christmas, is terribly rude. He’s a user. You deserve better.

I went out on a date with someone like this once. I’d travelled 150 miles to see them after work and they went ahead preparing their dinner with no regard for me. There was no thought and no care. Ditto for your boyfriend. No thought and no care. If you stay with him you are basically saying you will accept this. He will throw you the occasional breadcrumbs by, perhaps, complimenting you and saying nice things. Words are cheap. Be guided by his actions.

Wow. I hope you told him to get on the next bus heading directly to fuck. Quite happy to take the football top and expensive fragrance, but no sign of the perfume he was 'going to' get you? I'd guess that he contributed fuck all while you provided dinner as well. He's a freeloading gobshite. Although I bet he smells lush.

He's just not that into you...move on from this one or accept being unimportant to your partner. I know which I'd choose!