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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

441 replies

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:43

I've name changed anticipating being told I'm "grabby" but I'd like some outsider perspective on whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

New boyfriend. 4 months. Had the exclusive chat and we have both said we have feelings for one another.

It was his birthday last week. I bought him a present. It didn't feel odd to do so, we've spent a lot of time together by this point.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

We spent yesterday together and I thought I'd at least leave with a Christmas card if not a box of chocolates or something. Nothing.

I'm feeling a bit stupid for buying things for him now 😔

AIBU (for 1) buying him gifts early on and 2) feeling the way I do now.

OP posts:
5foot5 · 24/12/2024 16:55

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:54

Do people actually do that?

Not in my experience.

CovertPiggery · 24/12/2024 16:55

MollyButton · 24/12/2024 16:52

Sorry but I'd dump him. Not grabby but my Mum always told me to avoid stingy men, and it's not going to get better.

Same. Stingy with money = stingy with love.

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:54

PortiasBiscuit · 24/12/2024 16:52

I am always amazed at the number of women who are shagging men they don’t seem to be able to talk to.
If you want a present, tell him you expect a present.

Do people actually do that?

OP posts:
Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:53

We've no plans to meet tomorrow or boxing day as we both have family commitments, there's a possibility I might see him on Friday but it isn't set in stone.

OP posts:
MollyButton · 24/12/2024 16:52

Sorry but I'd dump him. Not grabby but my Mum always told me to avoid stingy men, and it's not going to get better.

PortiasBiscuit · 24/12/2024 16:52

I am always amazed at the number of women who are shagging men they don’t seem to be able to talk to.
If you want a present, tell him you expect a present.

dancingcrabbs · 24/12/2024 16:52

Yeah nah

OnMNwaytoomuch · 24/12/2024 16:51

How do you know he hasn't got something for you tomorrow?

batsandeggs · 24/12/2024 16:51

i find it a bit odd but because the timing of the relationship i’d have probably had a chat in advance to establish that you were planning to get something. If you did they this is it, your future and what to expect.

BugsyMaroon · 24/12/2024 16:51

It's not Christmas yet though. Are you expecting to see him tomorrow or Boxing day?

Doggymummar · 24/12/2024 16:51

It's not Christmas til tomorrow

DancingHippos · 24/12/2024 16:49

I'd be disappointed too.
The advice I give to women in relationships is to consider 3 things

  • is he kind?
  • is he generous?
  • how does he behave towards his mum?
HPandthelastwish · 24/12/2024 16:48

This is how life will be, if it bothers you now end the relationship and don't drag it out until you are back here in 10 years saying he still hasn't done it.

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:48

He mentioned last week he "was going to" get me some perfume, unprompted, but that hasn't materialised 🤣

OP posts:
Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:47

Tooes · 24/12/2024 16:46

Is he a foreigner? Many cultures consider Christmas presents to be for children, it could be that.

Nope, he's British like me.

OP posts:
Tooes · 24/12/2024 16:46

Is he a foreigner? Many cultures consider Christmas presents to be for children, it could be that.