To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

It's a bit unfair to be disappointed your expectations not met when you didn't make him aware..
It will make it easier,no matter how new the relationship is if you are able to communicate

Nope. I beg you OP don't listen to this bollocks. It's not 'unfair' to expect a grown adult who presumably has experienced Christmas before to buy a present for someone he cares about without being asked.

The fact that he knows gifts are most definitely expected because he's been staring at the one you've given him for 5 days makes this almost 100% irreparable.

Although it's not Christmas yet so there IS still a chance this is a bluff and he's been planning for weeks to surprise you tomorrow by turning up at yours with a pony. But I have my reservations...

I’d be really tempted to tell him that you made a mistake with the gift and got them mixed up and that you gave him your dad’s/ uncle’s/ brother’s / (or any other male family member you can think of) and that his gift is still at your house then take it back from him and either don’t bother to get him anything or replace it with something cheap. Then watch his reaction lol!

Oh it's not like he didn't know you've got him a present then - I think a decent bloke would be embarrassed not to get you something in return and would've grabbed you something in the meantime.

You're not a tit for buying a gift. You'll only be a tit if you say and do nothing about it.

Some people may think it’s too early into the relationship to expect gifts but if someone bought me a gift I’d feel a bit shit not buying them a gift in return.

Yeah it’s just rude not to reciprocate. If he thought it was too early when she gave the birthday present he should’ve made sure OP knew not to gift him anything for Christmas. He has kept silent knowing she‘s likely to get him a Christmas gift too while he just gives her an empty promise. Pathetic.

I’ve been treated in a similar way before - being told I’d get a present and then nothing!

Yeah it’s annoying! I’d rather they just never said anything.

I dunno how true this is but I read somewhere that (some) people do the fake promises things because they like the instant praise it gets them without actually having to do the work. So the best way to handle them is not to react. Only say thanks / show appreciation when they’ve actually given you what they’ve promised!

So when for example a friend of mine kept saying she would pay the dinner bill the next time we met up (I’d paid for it a few times in a row) I just remained silent or gave a kind of neutral “cool” . Lo and behold when the evening came there was some mishap with her card and she wasn’t able to pay for me 😂

Nope not unreasonable at all. He knows to buy you a gift, you’ve had ‘the’ chat, you’re exclusive. You’ve bought him a thoughtful and considered birthday present, he is fully capable of buying g other loved ones gifts.

he can either pull something out of the bag and gets you something nice when he does see you or you tell him you’re disappointed (yes people do have those chats) and resolve to openly communicate your needs and what you’d like in the future.
or you dump him.

So you requested no Christmas presents/vouchers etc.... very noble if I believed you.

Do people actually do that?

I wouldn't say 'I want a present please' but I'd definitely raise it before Xmas. I'd ask what would be like to do about presents and what sort of budget. Otherwise you would risk going OTT or missing the mark.
I think people are WEIRD if they feel too embarrassed to talk about things like that.

4 months isn't that long so I wouldn't expect a proper present. Id have rather suggested doing something together like going for a meal.

If he doesn't give you something next time you see him I'd question if he's the right guy for you.

The fact you got him a birthday gift it was fairly obvious you were doing Xmas and if he didn't want to he should have said.

But to not get you anything shows a lack of care for your feelings

Most of us are children then 🙄

You’re not “such a tit” OP! Far from it. You were just being nice and generous to the person you are in a relationship with at times of the year when it is natural to give someone a gift.

It is possible of course you might get a voucher from him by email tomorrow - a spa voucher or an experience type thing.

If not, I would set a timescale in my head as to how long I would give him to reciprocate with a gift or a treat - for example by Valentine’s Day, and, if he didn’t, I would reconsider the relationship (I would also not be giving him any further gifts until he starts reciprocating).

I do hope he has something nice planned for you over the next couple of weeks. 💐

I must be a child in that case as I still get presents from both my bf and family.

What a bizarre way of thinking!

Typical Sagittarius. They can be thoughtless.

That’s just ridiculous.

Yes I agree. I don’t know where the “lavish gifts” has come from as op has never mentioned that she wants a lavish gift. Some people just make stuff up as they go along.

Some people may think it’s too early into the relationship to expect gifts but if someone bought me a gift I’d feel a bit shit not buying them a gift in return.
I’ve been treated in a similar way before - being told I’d get a present and then nothing! People like this know exactly what they are doing and I can 100% say the people who do this absolutely enjoy and get a kick out of getting people all excited and then making them feel shit with their empty promises. It’s extremely cruel and narcissistic.

Perhaps in your world but that’s clearly not what everyone thinks.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

And anyway OP said he’s buying presents
for others and I’m assuming they’re not all children or she’d have mentioned this.

Sorry, I should have said early months! We'd been together about 3 months.

Yes people discuss whether they are buying each other Xmas presents. The first Xmas I had been with my DP went like this:
Me: are we buying each other presents as I love Xmas
Him: of course we are, is there anything you want

He even bought for my DD who he'd only met twice at that point.

He sounds like an adult. Presents are for children.

If it makes you feel any better, we had this situation reversed in the early years of our relationship. He bought me some lovely and expensive perfume...I got him nothing. We're still together 15 years later, married for nearly 10 and have a 5 year old together.

Agreed. Also Op never mentioned anything about “lavish gifts”. He could’ve got her something less than £20 for example.

If you’re happy enough to accept gifts early on in a relationship, you should be happy enough to reciprocate. Let’s just hope he has that perfume he mentioned…

But the red flag I see is that he said he would buy op a gift so op has been expecting one, only for one to never materialise and for her bf to never mention anything about it again. Thats just downright cruel and manipulative, nothing to do with it being early in the relationship.

Exactly this - get rid of him. I’ve only ever dated generous men because I’m generous too and I don’t want a one sided relationship.

My current partner got me a small present after just a few weeks of dating when he went down to Devon with his family.

You definitely shouldn’t have to ask for a Christmas present when it’s clearly something you both celebrate and he’s happy buying gifts for others! Not to mention the fact you’ve got him stuff.

I’ve encountered friends/men who did that nonsense in the past with mentioning they were going to do something for me or get something and it would never materialise. I cottoned on quick with those people before - watch their actions, not their words.

For me this would be a dealbreaker!

I done this for years. It was because my dad was horrible to me and I spent my childhood/teenage years trying to ‘win’ him over. The I spent the next 39 years been attracted to men who were just like him. Also though,if it’s early enough to have feelings and it’s early enough to have sex and hug and keep seeing each other - yeah it’s early enough to get a Christmas present and id like to think people who are falling in love would be excited to buy a gift. It’s not about the money it’s about falling in love.