To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

Oh dear it gets worse…seems like he’s using you a bit OP. What does he do for you? Does he buy you things, take you out? Does he pay for dates?

Exactly so. It's an excuse to impress a new girlfriend.

He sounds a dick tbh.

See I disagree, we did Christmas gifts after a month! 4 months in should def be!

Didn't you discuss how you'd like to do and spend Christmas together?

You two clearly are not on the same page here.

Tell him straight otherwise nothing will change. I wouldn't be impressed with him using it twice without asking.

So true

This is him in his peak trying to impress behaviour stage. He knew you thought gifts were okay, at this stage because you got him one for his birthday. I’m sorry but I think he’s just not that into you. Get rid and find someone better.

I’d be disappointed too, to be honest. However, it’s not Christmas yet. I’d wait until you next time you see him and see if anything materialises, then I would have a think.

Is it possible he will give it to you later? I think I'd wait and see
Even my most rubbish boyfriend - who forgot my birthday - then turned up with a present... (he then still dumped me on the phone)

An ex of mine didnt buy me a christmas present when we'd been dating 3 months, but i saw the presents that he'd bought for the friends he was spending christmas with and it felt off. There ended up being all sorts of selfish and unpleasant behaviour and he was a stingy type. He only got a token present for whoever was hosting his christmas as he realised that this was the bare minimum effort needed, and bought no others for anyone ever, was happy to recieve them though!

4 months is the perfect amount of time to start buying gifts. However, is he serious about the relationship as much as you are? If it were casual, I wouldn't expect presents. But 4 months and having the chat, seems like it is heading to a serious relationship. Given that he's not been shy about his Xmas shopping for family members, he should have got you something, in fact he may already have done! 🤞🏼

For sure you should expect something after four months, and I say this as a person who really is not big on presents at all and think they are as likely to cause bad feeling and angst as anything positive. But early on you should be on best behaviour and definitely a gift is part of that. It doesn't say anything good about him so be warned.

I would wait a few days after Christmas, maybe he’s ordered something but it’s not yet arrived? Or maybe he hasn’t bothered at all? If the later then I would dump him, like you say ‘you gave him a gift days ago so he has had time to go get something’. I would expect a gift if I was seeing someone around Christmas time even if it has not been a few months. I have been seeing someone for 8 months and he has given me a small gift, I’m not expecting much because I know what he has bought other people (not much) and I know he hasn’t got much money, but it’s the thought that counts, a token small gift is fine.

I married a guy like this.
He was actually stupid, dense, a real knothead when it came to gifting.
He couldn’t comprehend the concept.
Finally (this was before the internet), I’d circle things in catalogs I liked and he’d get them.
”Ooh I’m sooo surprised!!”
I remember once I was traveling on our anniversary, so his friends told him to meet me at the airport with a dozen roses. Instead of presenting them to me at the gate like any normal guy, he handed them to me in the car, in the basement parking garage.
Don’t be like me. Don’t do this to yourself.

See if anything turns up tomorrow. Then if not you should ask him where your present is, or tell him that you were sad he didn’t get you anything. Nip this shit in the bud now or you’ll be one of the women on here in 10 years who’s never got anything at Christmas. Honestly the fact that people expect to be given presents and generally treated nicely but not have to buy presents is so deeply unsexy it’s like they think they’re five years old! Hoping something arrives tomorrow and merry christmas!

Not unreasonable or grabby in the slightest. This is weird. I’d find that really off putting and have to break up with him. Was he not even embarrassed that you’d got him something and he hadn’t got you anything ?

Did he at least say something like, oh sorry I’d didn’t know we were doing presents? If he didn’t he’s an arse..

Tell him that you've realised you accidentally gave him the present that you bought for your brother/dad/uncle and swap it for a parcel containing a chocolate orange.

Not ok. Tell him so. I'd consider dumping him.

Not read too much into it? When he’s told op he would buy her some perfume but hasn’t bothered? As I said earlier it’s just cruel and nasty to make empty promises knowing op would be looking forward to receiving this “perfume” he said he would buy for her! I’d be reading an awful lot into someone who plays shit games like that. I doubt he’s testing her to see if she is not with him for his money.

In what world? I had been with my boyfriend for six weeks when it was my birthday and I got several gifts.

Strangely, I would say that I would not read too much into it. When I was just beginning to go out with my now dh, he gave me diamond earrings for Easter, a diamond ring for Christmas and a diamond pendant for the wedding, all in one year. And he was poor, i.e. no savings, and a mortgage (flat). Then we got married, had dc and nothing sparkling materialised as yet after the wedding, seriously. My best friend's husband was stingy beyond belief when they were dating, he insisted on them splitting bills, etc. He was very rich, he later told her he was testing 'she was not with him for his money'. They are married now and she gets a jewel every Christmas, and what jewels she gets! A Georgian en treblant flower brooch, a foil-backed Georgian think-of-me brooch, Chopard transformer earrings, etc. YOU NEVER KNOW!

Tbh I think not buying presents after 4 months is fairly normal, depending on the couple. However it’s the fact he KNEW you’d bought him one, and also a bday present, but still didn’t get you anything! That’s extremely rude. You need to call him out on it next time you see him… ‘so where’s my Xmas pressie then?’