To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

Dump him. I've been seeing someone casually for 2 months and have just exchanged stockings for each other. His suggestion and they were all lovely thoughtful things up to the budget of £50 we agreed with each other.

They're exclusive and they are dating...a token gift should be the minimum. And what kind of person considers themselves close enough to have a sexual relationship but not close enough to buy a Christmas present???

Presents are intrinsically not something that you have to ask for. This deep and meaningful insight really doesn't have anything to do with sex, which requires barely any brain power.

You sound lovely, he sounds like an arse OP.

He sounds like a complete idiot so far OP.
He's bought presents for everyone but you, his girlfriend.
And told you what he bought. So it's not that he doesn't do Christmas or think about the people that matter to him.
I'd quietly dump him, if he hasn't even made any gesture by the next time you see him.
Don't tell him why, you'll only get a manipulative spiel about how supposedly greedy and materialistic women are. You're just not feeling it - which is true.
We're all on a life-long learning curve here, and you have no reason whatsoever to feel a tit!

Four months? I’d expect a box of chocolates. If you don’t even get that, bin him.

What a total Scrooge humbug! If you can’t make someone feel just a little bit special and thought about on your first Xmas together it’s a poor show! He’s a disappointment. Do some serious thinking…

Unless he appears tomorrow with beautifully wrapped gifts with equally beautiful contents dump him.

It shows how much you mean to him if he gets you nothing.

Hope he's got you a present and not just waiting to regift you something.
If he hasn't, I would take it as a sign he's not into the relationship.

Urgh, so he’s tight. What a turn off.
Doesn’t seem like you’re going to dump him though does it?
Please value yourself more than this.

@Feelingabitsillyatxmas1

I have to go with the majority here. Dump his fat ass... Can't be bothered to buy you a Christmas present on your first Christmas together after 4 months together? Really? Not even a box of Milk Tray?!

Me and my (now) husband, who I married over 35 years ago, started dating 11 weeks before Christmas, (3 years before getting married,) and all that time ago, (in the mid 1980s) he spent £60 on me for the first Christmas we were together. I spent a similar amount on him.

In my experience, (and that of some women I know) men who are mean with money, and can't be bothered to buy a present or flowers or anything, are usually really rubbish in the sack, and make the worst husbands and the worst fathers. They will NEVER look after you financially. And as it's the woman who takes the hit on her career and income when babies come along (and women are often paid less than men anyway,) it's important to have a man who is kind and generous. Cue the posters claiming they earn 5X what their husband earns.... 🙄)

I don't think we need to ask you if he pays for you on dates, because he absolutely doesn't. I wouldn't even have a second date with a man that doesn't pay for me on the first date either. (DH paid on the first 5 or 6 dates, and then we started to split the costs a bit more...) Don't anybody come at me for saying that. I am entitled to my own opinions and views. And a mean and miserly man can fuck off after the first date if he doesn't pay. (For the reasons I put in the third paragraph.)

If a man wants to see me again, he needs to SHOW me he's worthy! Making me pay for myself on our first date, and buying me fuck-all for our first Christmas together (4 months after we started dating???) In the bin he goes!

I will say this again…. He has already told op he would buy her some perfume. The perfume has never materialised. This isn’t just about someone who hasn’t bothered to make an effort and then rushed out to buy something last minute, this is someone who hasn’t bothered taken great delight in telling op he will get her a gift, only to never mention the gift again. He has seen op today and not handed her a gift. Op won’t be seeing him again until after Xmas. That is an extremely cruel trick to play on someone in a very new relationship which should be in its honeymoon stage.
To add insult to injury he has used op’s club card to get a discount on a bottle of gin for himself at Tesco. He is a user who gets kicks out of making empty promises then not delivering.

This is a complete non sequitur.

The whole “I was GOING to…” is a massive red flag. OP, if he was going to he would have done it. If he cared, he would have done it. If he wanted to, he would have done so.

I would throw this one back in or this will be your life from now on. It’s not the material cost, it never is - it’s the lack of thought and care. You thought of him (twice) and he still hasn’t got it. Bye!!

Will the people dancing around saying give this joker another chance raise your collective bar.

This is why women end up funding ALL their own maternity leave and ALL the nursery fees 🙄🙄🙄

My husband did this after we had been dating for a Year. He was staying at my house and Christmas Eve I started joking about what he’d got me and when I realised he hadn’t bought me a thing I got upset. He dashed out and managed t find a chemist open and bought me some perfume. We are still happily married after 40 years so don’t judge your new boyfriend too harshly.

He's showing you who he is. Either accept it or move on.

Ew, OP. Throw this one back. I know four months can feel like a long time but you don’t want to waste any more time on this man-child.

In the UK we give token gifts for colleagues and neighbours, it's not a big deal, regardless of how long we've known them. Surely the person you're shagging deserves better!

If the gin is for you it's even worse..

Absolutely no....just no. Clubcard points!? Alright Ebenezer...

He is awful. And this is him on the best behavior. He is a shameless taker.

@Feelingabitsillyatxmas1

How do you and this boyfriend deal with paying for things on dates?

Honestly he sounds worse with your update, he thinks of you to gain a discount for the gin he's buying for himself (not cheap) then doesn't reply to huge hint of the club points being your present, honestly Id wouldn't bother replying to him ever again, do some retail therapy for yourself and forget him.

Well that tells you everything you need to know about him op. It’s looking like he’s showing his true colours and he sounds like a user that just takes, takes and takes but never gives. He’s happy to use your club card to get a discount but no sign of a Xmas present for you.

I would give him until Friday (if you actually do decided meet on Friday after all). It might be that he’s got you something from Tesco (god only knows what he’d buy from there) but If you haven’t received a gift (after he said he would buy you one) by Friday then I’d dump him. If you don’t meet on Friday then still dump him, he’s had enough time to buy you a present.

My guess is you won’t be seeing any present from him. He sounds utterly selfish.