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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

441 replies

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 24/12/2024 16:43

I've name changed anticipating being told I'm "grabby" but I'd like some outsider perspective on whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

New boyfriend. 4 months. Had the exclusive chat and we have both said we have feelings for one another.

It was his birthday last week. I bought him a present. It didn't feel odd to do so, we've spent a lot of time together by this point.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

We spent yesterday together and I thought I'd at least leave with a Christmas card if not a box of chocolates or something. Nothing.

I'm feeling a bit stupid for buying things for him now 😔

AIBU (for 1) buying him gifts early on and 2) feeling the way I do now.

OP posts:
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MyPithyPoster · 31/12/2024 10:36

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Wolframandhart · 31/12/2024 10:29

useitorlose · 31/12/2024 03:44

I hope he has the decency to return the fragrance to you.

I doubt it. This guy has more front than Blackpool. It sounds like he ended it as well. I would 100% ask for the cologne back though.

onwardsup4 · 31/12/2024 08:01

Well done OP. What an idiot, at least you found out fairly quickly, onwards and up!

useitorlose · 31/12/2024 03:44

I hope he has the decency to return the fragrance to you.

Monty27 · 31/12/2024 03:16

I'd get an excuse to pop over and see if I could get my mitts on the perfume

Secondguess · 31/12/2024 03:02

Well you now know why he's single and as much as you may regret giving him that gift, at least you didn't have children with him before finding out how clueless he is.

If he has any decency he'll offer to return the gifts. But then if he had any decency he'd have turned up with something - anything - today.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2024 02:49

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 30/12/2024 17:44

Yes it's over 😔

I hope 2025 is full of lovely things for you.

HadEnoughOfThisPish · 31/12/2024 01:46

What an absolute shithouse he is. This will sting for a while, but honestly you're well rid. I hope the Tom Ford stuff brings him out in hives and his football team get relegated.

Roryno · 30/12/2024 22:49

I’m sorry. But he just wasn’t worth any more effort. You deserve better. I hope there’s someone so much better in your near future.

NotMeForBakeoff · 30/12/2024 21:28

How did he take it OP?

I hope you find someone lovely in 2025.

JaneAustensHeroine · 30/12/2024 19:53

You have definitely dodged a bullet there. Finishing the relationship in a year or four would have wasted so much of your time and energy. You have a new year ahead to find new adventures with new people who have as big a heart as you xx

IlooklikeNigella · 30/12/2024 19:39

Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 30/12/2024 17:44

Yes it's over 😔

I hope you're ok OP. Sending you hugs. How disappointing he turned out to be

BonfireToffee · 30/12/2024 19:28

Wishing you the best 2025, OP, and the people you deserve around you x

Rososos · 30/12/2024 19:01

It’s definitely for the best, OP. Smart decision. It sucks that he couldn’t be a more decent person basically but clearly he wasn’t worth your time, effort or resources and at least you’ve learnt a lesson and can steer clear of his sort in future.

Some women get stuck with men like that and they come on here every year upset that they’ve bought Christmas presents for everyone including their husbands family and they had zilch back.

You’ve had a lucky escape.

shivermetimbers77 · 30/12/2024 18:46

Ah, sorry to hear that OP, but who needs
a stingy arse like that? Onwards and upwards for 2025!

WoolySnail · 30/12/2024 18:13

Well-done OP, now you are free to pursue whatever makes you happy 😊 Happy 2025!x

Therealjudgejudy · 30/12/2024 18:10

Just view it as dodging a bullet op.

Merryoldgoat · 30/12/2024 18:08

@Feelingabitsillyatxmas1

You know what? When we do something hard that’s good for ourselves it’s easier the next time.

You chose your self respect. This is a lesson and you’ll remember and it will help you weed out these arseholes in the future.

You've done a great thing for yourself.

Fannyfiggs · 30/12/2024 18:00

So sorry @Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 How are you feeling?

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 30/12/2024 17:49

Sorry to hear the relationship is over, sending hugs but i'm sure there are better men out there waiting for you in 2025.

He was obviously a user and as he didn't fight for you, then he's not the one for you.

See it as dodging a bullet. A cheap lesson learned at £200.

What did he say?

Original poster
Feelingabitsillyatxmas1 · 30/12/2024 17:44

Yes it's over 😔

OP posts:
Blakehouse · 30/12/2024 13:18

Have you ended it?

MushMonster · 28/12/2024 08:55

Break up with him. Tell him he is not up your standards, so good bye.

JaneAustensHeroine · 28/12/2024 06:35

ChilledBeez · 27/12/2024 21:46

She will. Thats why men get away with treating women so badly as there are always mugs like her who will be treated like a door mat yet still oblige. Tragic that someone could have such low self - esteem, really.

Unpleasant. The OP is not a “mug” and there is no indication of low self-esteem.

Don’t be nasty.

Fromheretothen · 28/12/2024 00:23

WoolySnail · 27/12/2024 21:53

You may have spent alot of money on him, but it was worth every penny to find out what he was really like. He's wasted enough of your money, don't let him waste your time too x

Ha. That's a good way to look at it! You paid £200 to take a dickhead test and it came back positive. So many women would pay much more to find out so early - you got a bargain really!