If you were invited "for Christmas Day"

Wth. Send her an invoice

Give her a ring maybe she's bringing her own food

I'd take 'for Christmas Day' to mean the whole day, so lunch and tea, so as pp have said, arriving about midday and leaving around 7.00 (if main meal is around 1.00-2.00) If the main meal was in the evening, I'd expect to stay later.

From this post it's obvious she thinks the plan was to go to a pub. Not spend all day at your house after the pub.

I wouldn't have a clue what 'for Christmas day' meant and would have asked. Definitely wouldn't have assumed it meant meals and all day.

Just ask her!!

If you're only clarifying timing with her now, then she may well have been wondering what your invitation meant and got herself some food in. I would have accompanied the invitation with a clear outline of what time we ate and things so she knew what was what. Everyone does Christmas differently so you really can't make an assumption about what time to turn up - after all, do you have the main meal at lunchtime, in the evening or at some point in the afternoon.

I would be asking questions because “for Christmas Day” is too vague for me

That could mean anything and be interpreted any kind of way.

I think it’s a bit rude not to give specifics because you’re putting the onus on the person you invited to be a mind reader and know what you mean and if they don’t, they have to ask you questions about the plans you have told them they’re welcomed to.

I would want to clarify as it could mean all day, or a couple of hours at some point in the day.

All day could be a bit intense depending on friend/st up.

Not if she hasn't realised the invite includes Christmas dinner.

You sure she doesn't just mean she will have the veg and gravy so you don't need to cater for her? DH is veggie in that he doesn't eat meat but would have meat gravy, Sunday lunch he just has meat free

Invited for christmas day would mean to me arriving sometime around mid morning, having dinner and staying into the evening. I would however clarify by way of asking 'what time should we come over and what can we bring?'.

We did have a couple of friends we invited for christmas day once. instructions were VERY clear. We suggested arriving around 11 - 12ish, as we'd be aiming to serve a 3 course full christmas dinner at about 2. They arrived at 1.15 (so at least before dinner, although I was thinking they were cutting it a bit fine). They barely touched the starter, no probs, maybe not their thing although I had checked they indeed ate what I was serving, served the turkey etc and neither ate very much of that either. I asked if everything was ok and my friend proudly stated that they were fine, just really full up from breakfsat as her DH loves a full english on christmas day and as they got up late they didn't eat it until 12.
FFS. really?
Didn't invite them the following year. I though that was just plain rude.

What were the actual messages?

Could she have assumed you meant just going to hers for 11 and then to the pub for a bit?

She may have meant don’t make a veggie alternative just for her, I’m happy with all the trimmings (as long as without duck fat etc).

For Christmas Day definitely means for Christmas Lunch/Dinner! I’d expect to be arriving prior to lunch and leaving in the evening. It’s her who’s weird. Just clarify the times with her - arrival and departure - and say you have veggie food for her.

She’s probably trying ‘not to be any trouble’ and actually causing more trouble and stress.

Has anyone seen the original version of "Speak no evil" (not the recent remake)? SPOILERS but it about a middle-class couple who get murdered and their daughter trafficked because they're too socially awkward to stick up for themselves when confronted with polite psychopaths. I thought it was ridiculous, but reading threads like this make it seem completely plausible. In other words, give your head the classic mumsnet wobble, then TALK TO YOUR MATE FFS.

It reminds me of the Vicar of Dibley and all the lunches!
It's just a mis communication. I once cooked an entire Xmas lunch on boxing day for all the inlaws, only to find out that dh hadn't actually told them!
Ho hum!

I don't know if it's cultural, but the vague "invitations" irritate me no end.

Of course you clarify with the host, but how hard is it to invite people for "lunch"with details of the time, it would mean 1pm for most people I know but not on MN apparently) ,or for "diner" (tends to be 8 or 8:30pm arrival for most people, but again not on MN)

I have also been invited at 4pm in the afternoon! Why? It's far too late for lunch, my kids will go mental, but then it's far too early for diner, no one is hungry at that time. And the host plans on a full meal. People are weird.

Maybe she didn't want to make you goto the trouble of veggie options? Definitely tell her you already have something in if she wants to stay!

Agree. It's kind of ungrateful to go 'don't feed me' when that's clearly the invite!

If you want to be kind, I'd say 'hey friend, just to be clear you're invited for dinner tomorrow and we have food in for you :) but let us know when to expect you and when you have to go if you've got other things on. Dinner will be at Food o'clock'

I’d take that to arrive around 12pm and leave about 4.30/5pm.

I'd imagine it meant to arrive late morning/ lunchtime and be there for Xmas Dinner and into the evening. I wouldn't be making any other plans around that.

Is she just worried you'll think she's a hassle to provide a veggie option for?

Personally I would always be a bit more specific than extending an invite for "Christmas Day". Suggest a time for arrival and let the invitee know what time you will be having your Christmas meal. In our family we don't eat until 4pm earliest but my in laws it was always 12.00 on the dot !

Everyone does it slightly differently / eats at different times etc. It might be she is trying to make it simpler so you don't have to cook veggie options.