If you were invited "for Christmas Day"

That's really rude. Freeze the extra and enjoy the stuff you can't. Enjoy a relaxed day instead ❤️

@Gracelet

You mention her ex 'got upset' at her and DS not spending the day with him so she's agreed to go to and has cancelled her plans with you to do so. Is it possible that she's still in the habit of being controlled by him or that he has a financial hold over her so she does what he says? I know that there are co-parents who spend the holidays together 'for the children', but I'd think if the time came that one parent decided the tradition needed to end the other parent wouldn't 'get upset' to the point where the original parent felt they needed to acquiesce.

It’s so rude and disrespectful.

Enjoy your extra Prosecco with DP, you deserve it 🎅

I would think it means for Christmas meal and until the day starts to wind down.

I'm SO sorry to hear that this so called 'friend' has let you down like this OP. Do you think she'd have actually contacted you to tell you, if you hadn't called her? I'm afraid if someone treated me like this, having been invited for Christmas, they'd be lucky to see me again afterwards. What a flake!

Also, what is this thing where people seem to feel that having accepted an invitation to something, that they can simply drop the first person if something better comes along, THAT really boils my piss, I can tell you!! Cancel me once without a VERY good explanation, and that's it, you're off my visiting list, full stop!

I hope that you have a lovely relaxing day with your partner tomorrow OP, and that her Christmas goes belly up! I know, not very holiday spirited of me, but I really hate it when people let others down like this.

I would be un inviting for NYE

I would think for Lunch at least. But i would have been clear about "anything you don't like to eat"

That’s just bloody rude.

Sorry, I see now, that she is not coming at all, which is rather rude, especially at such a late time, when you would have got all the food in, etc

Tricky, as people all eat their main Christmas Dinner at various times; some in the evening, etc (I tried that once, but it really did not work out for us); some early at around 1.00 or 2.00, and some a 'late' lunch, say 4.00 pm.
So, if you expected them for a meal, then I'd be specific, and say 'lunch' or whatever, and specify a time; ie get here around x, so we can have a drink, and sit down for dinner around y.
If you know her very well, I'd ask and clarify about veggie options, or otherwise ask if there is anything they specifically do not like, etc.
Otherwise, Christmas dinner would generally expected to be usual options.
If you, the host, are veggie, or vegan, I'd specify that with the invite, etc

I was about to say something similar. She's a close, possibly best, friend and she lets you down less than 24 hours before.
Was she planning to just be at the pub and then slide away and not come back with you to yours?!
She doesn't deserve you or your nice DH who went to effort for her.

That’s really unfair of her.

I understand not wanting to spend all day there, especially if she has DC but there’s nothing stopping her from coming for a couple of hours.

That’s really poor of her and I would be backing off from this friendship.

Oh should have RTFT sorry!

Very rude to duck out for no reason. If you thought it was because of her new boyfriend you could have invited him though?

So sorry and I’m not surprised you are feeling tearful. Christmas is hard for many of us for various reasons. Try to enjoy the day with your DP still though 💐

What a shit, really bad form to drop out the day before a dinner invitation, never mind a big expensive meal like Christmas dinner. Some people don’t have the manners they were born with!

Here's how the conversation goes for 99.9% of people:

"Friend, do you want to come to ours for Christmas Day?"

"Oh, that would be lovely, thankyou! What time do you want me?"

"Around 12?"

"Great, would you like me to bring anything towards dinner?"

"No, we're sorted thanks, I'll do you veggie stuff, what would you normally have at Christmas?"

etc etc

Why all the assumptions and unspoken discussion of arrangements?

Really really rude OP.
I am so sorry that your generosity and kindness have been disregarded.
Real friends do not behave like that.
Losers who use people do.
I honestly would drop the rope going forward.
Reprocosity in relationships is so important.
Don't be an option in your friendships.

Awww i feel bad for you! Message her and say, my DP and I assumed you'd be having dinner with us so got you a veggie option. Did you wanna pop over and grab it at some point, otherwise it will end up in the bin.

Make sure she bloody knows you went to that trouble!

What a cow!

She may be bringing her own veggie dinner, to eat with you?
Hence no need to worry about catering for her.

Miranda Hart suggests stating both a start and an end time for invitations to your house.

OP just to say please try and let go as soon as you are able- that is really upsetting of course, and poor form from her.

Have a good cry now if you need to but tomorrow is a different day and it will be lovely. More scrummy food for you and you can leave the washing up til the morning and nobody will know! xxxx