To wish people would just respect age restrictions

The family in front of us at the Eras tour massively cocked up. They had a girl around 6 with SN and a lad a little older totally not interested. The girl tried to go to sleep after about 20 mins the dad ended up taking both kids off for doughnuts. Was obviously something mum was into and she had tried to convince herself the little girl was interested but she totally wasn’t. Felt for them expensive night. Mum should have gone with her mates.

Nice ageism @UbertomusicI doubt many of the PP who wish parents would take disruptive children out are “Boomers”

I recently attended a concert where an older member of the audience was coughing non-stop and sounded like they were about to die.

Should they have remained at home being so ill? Should I have complained to the usher? 🤔

We are due to see the Nutcracker, and this would hack me off, so I have every sympathy. I'd have said something to the mum , and complained to usher at 1/2 time.

I took mine to Bach to Baby concerts at the same time as we started going to play groups so around 6 months old I think. As far as I remember, very few babies cried - admittedly, the concerts were relaxed matinees, but still normal concerts with some loud sounds.

https://www.bachtobaby.com/videos

It's not just one person swearing online - at least one other said upthread "there is no way a child sit through a sodding ballet, take them to a fucking panto!" :) So it is obviously quite common, though those people would not be swearing irl lest they are removed from the audience themselves 😂

Of course young families are put off by the price tag of 100+ pp for an opera or ballet more than by boomers hostility, but as a frequent concert goer (used to go twice a week, both with and without children) I know the attitudes very well :)

I was going to say the same. My premmie DD at 5 definitely looked around 3. On her reception photos she’s a full head smaller than her peers.

You don't know how old the child was 🙄

My DD went to the cinema at that age. Watched the images and fell asleep.

She actually first went at 5 months.

She first went the theatre at 2.

She is generally a pain in the behind but will sit quietly and watch any type of performance.

There as one of my nieces who was better behaved normally couldn't behave in performances until she was a lot older. So her parents didn't take her.

I think there's a pretty massive difference between being irritated that a child is disrupting an experience everyone else has paid for, and blanket-hostility towards all families with young children. You implied that young families are failing to take their kids to the theatre etc. due to fear of aggression, which just isn't true as a broad statement. And it certainly isn't proven by one person swearing online about people allowing their kids to ruin experiences for other people.

Tbh the age of the child isn't the issue really. The issue is the parents letting the child climb around and disrupt. If the child couldn't keep still, they should have been taken out.

Yeah right, there is absolutely no aggression towards young audience out there @fitzwilliamdarcy , it's just normal habitual swearing 😂

This.
My DC was not admitted to a 10+ performance at ENO because of the language in the production.

Some performances with sudden loud sounds or lights can be disturbing for under-5 hence the guidance.

It has nothing to do with the ability to sit through. Some adults cannot sit through either due to ADHD or other ND - so what??

I don't care what age a child is, if they are disrupting the show, running around screaming in restaurants or annoying everyone within a 3 mile radius they are a pita. Especially if the so called parents smile indulgently and simper, "So spirited and adventurous at this age"
Take your off spring, fuck off and haunt someone else.

The age restriction is there for a reason. People dont give a sh*t about restrictions or the impact on others, its a great big FU essentially.

Ive got two 3 year old relatives and there is no way either of them would be taken to see a ballet. Theyre not badly behaved. Its just not realistic to expect them to sit still for an hour and a half.

I would go further than that and say that, regardless of the age of your children, you shouldn't be taking them to any kind of show unless you are certain they will understand the etiquette and follow it, and if they don't, you are ready to take them out.

Some friends and I went to see Wicked a few weeks ago, leaving our children (2 4 yos and a 2 yo) at home, because we knew they couldn't sit through a 3 hour movie. Several parents had brought young children who proceeded to talk, wriggle and get up for the toilet 3 or 4 times each. It was so distracting and really draws your focus from the film.

I took my youngest and my niece to a 6+ performance in the summer, for their actual 6th birthday present. They share a birthday.

My niece is tiny, my youngest DD is head and shoulders above her. The people next to us refused to believe DN was old enough for the show and caused a ruckus ruining her birthday treat. I was fuming.

keep your beak out OP.

Guidance has nothing to do with sitting through a show, guidance is for the content of the show.

It sometimes is a huge thing to miss a show, and the 10+ guidance for Hamilton is nothing to to do with the ability to sit for 3 hours, but more to do with the language in it. My 9 y/o daughter is a solid working class council estate kid though, and has heard worse!

I don't know a single parent who has never taken their child to the theatre or cinema, and every time I go to either, there are tons and tons and tons of children, so I think people overestimate the "aggression" towards families.

At the cinema last week, a young family were camped out across the seats chatting away like they were in their living room or on Gogglebox. I don't think they felt remotely uncomfortable or upset by the disapproving looks and remarks - they continued throughout. We asked the cinema staff to do something but they just shrugged and said their policy isn't to remove family groups.

Yes, it's very common to be aggressive towards young audience, if not overtly then by dirty looks and remarks (and then vent suppressed aggression online). No wonder concert halls and theatres are struggling to attract new generations. They are simply not used to going to such places in their formative years and feel out of place.

I wouldn't care if the child in the OP was a tiny 5yo or a tall 2yo, the fact is that they were disturbing others by whispering through the performance. Regardless of whether over 5s are permitted, if your child (whatever their age) is disturbing others then you either tell them to be quiet or leave the auditorium.

@IndiaSS because lots of people are dicks and can't say 'NO' to their kids.

OMG, yes - a very expensive Royal Opera House Nutcracker performance was very much spoiled for us by a nearby small child endlessly asking her mother questions. And the mother replied in whispers every time, but never once told the child to BE QUIET!
The child could have been 5, I don’t know, but if they can’t be quiet, at least most of the time, please don’t take them!

We took our kids youngest then 20 months to pantomime - it was allowed as you could buy lap seat for under 3. In queue had some grandparents kick off at us for taking such young kids.

Our kids were quiet and well behaved throughout - as we knew they would be and if not we'd have taken them out. Some late primary age at front of us weren't - were quite disruptive. Grandparents spoke to us on way out - think they meant it as a compliment - going on how well behaved our kids are - I thought yea it's like we know them or something.

So I agree behavior and age while related aren't absolute guides..

However we always respected age restrictions - because assumed there was a reason for them.

I would as PP say though that age judgements can be way off - people insist they can do it but IME unless they work with kids in child settings they are usually way off and assume one or two kids they know are the standard size and vocabulary range.

Last night DH and I went to see the nutcracker, it's stated very clearly on the website 5+.
Beside us were a family, grandma, granddad, mum and daughter. The daughter looked about 3, maybe a very small 4.

Please don't assume. I have a DC with a growth condition who looks much younger than she is and it gets so so tiresome having to advocate for people to treat her as her age. Its much, much more common than you might think.