AIBU to say some people are quite happy to spend Christmas day on their own

How do you know he pretended to have a nice Christmas? He might have enjoyed the day on his own…

I’ve been on WhatsApp all day fielding messages from a friend who is with her DH and his family for the next few days. There are 18 people expected for lunch tomorrow, 12 of whom are staying in her in-laws house alongside her. Her DH has 3 siblings who are coming with their partners and DC. Friend is beside herself dealing with the in-laws, noise and chaos. But she also reminded me how unhappy she was spending Christmas Day completely alone in her 20s as she was estranged from her relatives (most of her immediate family are in prison). I think there are definitely moments she would love to be alone but as she said, it’s a luxury to actually consider that an option rather than it being an enforced state of affairs.

I'll be an empty nester in the not too distant future. I've told my DC they're always welcome back, but I will never insist on it. I'm very happy to do it alone if they have other plans / want to just stay home. (Part of me actually quite relishes the idea!)

The other day I found out that a close friend of my DHs spent Christmas alone a few years ago - at 28. I remember now that Christmas asking what he was up to and him saying he hadn’t worked it out yet but he was newly single and had a slightly strained family relationship so while I’m not surprised I’m very upset to think that he felt he had to keep it secret. We saw him New Year’s Eve that year and he had pretended he had had a nice Christmas.

He absolutely could have come to mine and DHs family Christmases but some people don’t want to feel pitied, or to admit they need help.

Sometimes it's just the logistics of it all, there isn't always time to travel and get back in time for work, not everyone has loads of time off at Christmas. I've had several different Christmasses over the years, some on my own which I actually really enjoyed, some with friends which I also really enjoyed. Christmas she's now are pretty much always with the in laws as they are not getting any younger so we are all making the most of it and they have a big house which is a great place to host-they also can't travel to us hence we go to them.

Erm, do you think that the OP should be hoping that her parents will outlive her? She is well aware of the implications, and she is already choosing to spend her Christmases with her parents. Why do you think she needs a guilt trip? 🙄

There’s a big difference between that & actually being alone, though.

I’m spending Christmas alone, by choice, and so far it’s going great! I love not having to worry about or pander to anyone and just having a chilled day. It’s not my first time doing it, and I intend to do it every year.

I wasn’t planning to be on my own, but a stinking cold meant I had to cancel plans to visit family. Which is a shame but I’ll go next week instead if I’m better.

The cat & I will have a relaxed day together, open our presents & if I feel up to it I’ll build her new cat tree. All good.

I.m overjoyed to be spending Xmas alone. DS, DiL and I all decided we are knackered after a really tough year at work, we are all NHS and social services so we decided to stay in our own homes, not do anything and chill in PJs. It's absolute bliss.

This year I will be having dinner with the couple who live across the road, but spent last year alone and loved it. I live alone, have no family, and while I enjoy socialising with friends I am extremely happy pottering around by myself. I anticipate all of my future Christmases being alone, and I'm perfectly okay with that. My exDH usually spends the day alone (we live in different towns), and he also loves it.

My mother wants to spend Christmas Day on her own. I think that's absolutely fine, as she's perfectly capable of looking after herself at 88. But my brother doesn't agree and is going against her wishes and going to visit. This is because he thinks he knows better, sigh.

I wouldn't actually mind it - I personally don't think it a a big deal.

Absolutely this .

DM spends it on her own. She has options, but doesn't want the faff of it all. I live overseas, but I think if I was near her, she'd come to me.

I've been on my own as well. I didn't mind it, but I do prefer a little bit of company. I'll be with DP & DN this year.

Also it's only 2 days off work and I have stuff that needs doing still like cleaning, cooking etc etc as I'm working at the weekend, so it's effectively just a weekend off for me

Some people literally have no family. I think it’s nice to have a choice, rather than just be left to spend it on your own because no one thinks of you.

I had an invitation to spend Christmas day with other people, which I've politely declined. I'm going out for a curry at lunchtime on my own but it's just another day as far as I'm concerned so I'm quite happy to spend it alone.

Oh piss off x

I'd love it. I hate hosting but due to family dynamics we're now the default hosts. I dread it as I'm just not a natural host and have family members who all just turn up and don't help. Once kids are older I'll be changing things up for sure.

I'm on my own tomorrow. Well the dogs will be here too but they don't really count.
I can't say I'm thrilled about it. But family have buggered off elsewhere and I've not got anywhere else to go so on my own I am!

Doesn't really feel like Christmas to be honest. So tomorrow will just be like any other day I'm on my own.

I think the thing that is so special about Christmas in a work context and I suppose otherwise, is that everyone stops. Everyone is closed up inside - so it’s definitely a unique opportunity.

My mother is choosing to despite invitation to come to ours. She’s very happy to just chill, eat her own food and not be forced to socialise with people she wouldn’t choose to.

Yes, you could, but why does that make it "bad" to want to spend Xmas Day alone? It's a day off work, time to rest and relax.

I fantasise about having Christmas on my own, preferably on a beach somewhere hot with a chilled cocktail in hand. Hopefully one day