AIBU to say some people are quite happy to spend Christmas day on their own

I would rather spend the day on my own than where there is conflict or strain. I would also prefer being on my own to spending Christmas with people I didn't know very well who had invited me just so I wouldn't be alone.
Ideally, as long as everyone is getting along I prefer to spend the day with family but I would not be at all upset to be on my own if they had other plans.
The nightmare Christmas is one where there's underlying tension and fear of a row breaking out.

I’m doing family Christmas right now and literally can’t wait to get back home and away from this. It’s not been enjoyable at all and I’m purely doing this to please others every now and then.

I don’t mind seeing family pretty much any other time of year in another context but not at Christmas. Forced fun, forced food, overspending, poor quality entertainment, unwanted gifts. I’ve done nothing this whole week I’d choose to do.

Christmas can be good if you’re with someone you’re on the same wavelength with and think for yourself, but with family it’s a variation of whatever the media portrays as ‘what people do at Xmas’.

With smartphones nobody even talks anymore and they’re all just texting people they should maybe rather be with.

Definitely not next year!!

I regularly spend Christmas on my own. I have no family, they're either dead or no contact. For me, Christmas is a 'celebration' comprising the shops being closed for a day, and nothing more.

not everyone is lonely when they are alone. I seriously have never felt lonely when alone, I really enjoy my own company, there is always a book to read, programme to watch, dog to be walked. I could easily be a hermit TBH.

I'm a widow, my parents are dead as is my sibling. There is only me and I don't want to be the pity guest at anyone's table. I'm perfectly happy carrying on as normal just me and the dog.

my mum used to spend it alone - while my Dad came to us! Only for the last 5 or so years of her life, but she literally said "I've done enough christmases" I think she found the DC and the excitement just all too much - she was an extreme introvert.

I take after her, and after hosting big christmases, post divorce it was generally just me and the DC with the odd stray friends thrown in the mix. Last year DC went to their dads and OMG - best christmas ever! On my own, my favourite foods, watched what I wanted on TV and just relaxed all day. DC with me this year, which is lovely, but I do have a twinge of nostalgia for being alone.....

I know a couple of people this year who are spending it alone by choice and they seem perfectly happy with that. But as @EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness, there's a difference between knowing you have people you COULD spend it with and having nobody that I imagine makes all the difference on the day.

I think there is a big difference spending Christmas day alone if your life is normally full of people and busy.
If you spend lots of days alone, then spending Christmas day alone just compounds your loneliness.

I would be horrified to spend Christmas alone, I hope it never happens

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness, I’ve been wondering for a while where your name comes from?

I agree. Choosing to be alone is very different to being on your own and having no one to celebrate with. Happily on my own for Christmas here.

I’ve never been alone but I’ve wanted to.

As a single adult (before marriage and kids) I hated traipsing back to my parents house - doing Christmas their way, lots of church services and constant religion, spending time with some very prickly adults.

I didn’t really know how to get out of it. One year the trains were down and it looked like I wouldn’t make it back. One of my coworkers was so upset about the idea of me spending it alone and insisted I come to her if the trains didn’t get up and running again. A very sweet lady and a very sweet offer but obviously the idea of an awkward Christmas with someone I barely knew was not very appealing. I was deliriously happy about the idea of just watching Christmas TV on my own with wine and quality street… until the train service resumed sadly.

I've spent 2 Christmas days alone in the last few years and it's bliss! Lay in, lazy day, bottle of something, great film! Absolutely bliss! It's not always the lonely, miserable time people think it is for everyone.

Not everyone has family or any friends

Yes, happy to spend Christmas alone, though I think it’s actually other family and friends who struggle with the idea for them of us being alone. They have an issue - but I/we don’t necessarily.

Sadly just had my 98 yo DMIL weeping on screen - she has someone with her, but is crying that I am alone. (Sad memories of the happy decade plus that I hosted her family I guess - but also onerous for me and my memories are tinged with a little resentment in places too…)

Facing a first Christmas as a widow, all happily planned out, loaned a dog for a walk, new PJ’s, nice food, tv etc - but a ND incomer who I didn’t know pestered me via multiple means for her to spend her day with me - I had to be very direct that was distressing.

Just back now from spending 2 weeks in the sea somewhere warmer - happy to totally miss the run up to Christmas here and sneak home quietly under the radar. Last year spent in a UK airport hotel with a meal-deal and won’t repeat. Tried staying abroad for Christmas many times, but dislike how hyper, disruptive and loud it becomes in many hotels.

Not sad at all - happy memories of old spending past Christmas days skiing glaciers or sailing catamarans, walking the beach with friends, swimming naked in the sea, cycling, snorkelling - no regrets.

@CoubousAndTourmalet i have twice said upthread that he did NOT have a nice Christmas and I know this because he told us in the same conversation where he mentioned spending it alone in the first place

But how do you know he was pretending? And why on earth should it upset you? He may have had a lovely Christmas. And why do you automatically assume that spending Christmas alone is about people not wanting to feel pitied or admit that they need help?

The problem is that when people make the assumption that you don't want to be alone (because they wrongly imagine that nobody does), they invite you along or try to include you and it can make you feel pressured because you don't want to appear rude. It can make for a very awkward situation.

^ This.........sums up the dichotomy perfectly.

My ideal Xmas was a week in Tenerife in a posh hotel. On the day sun loungers/ beach, with gala dinner at night. Bliss. Elderly parent means have to stay here, will enjoy their last years with them then it will be Xmas in the sun

Spent quite few Christmasses alone by choice. This one is with the nuclear family. Tried with the in laws. It was a nightmare. She has a second husband but she bought the house with her own money, he has a chip on his shoulder and behaves rude to everyone who dare to seem to know his little dirty secret.

I know some people who have lots of offers but prefer to spend it on their own and I think I would be the same if I didn't have any immediate family to spend it with (partner or children). Unless you have someone very close to your own wavelength, it could be easy to feel like you are imposing, or feel obligated to stay all day when you might just want to go round for the dinner.

@fivebyfivebuffy see my post above - he did not want to be alone

Maybe he wanted to be alone? I've been fending off invites, I've no interest in doing a big Christmas gathering!
I don't say I'm alone now because people insist how miserable it is, like when you go for a meal and people try and get you to join them if you're by yourself

@Eastie77Returns because I recently found out about this having happened and he said he had unbelievably miserable!

@itsmylife7 I think you hit the nail on the head -