AIBU to say some people are quite happy to spend Christmas day on their own

Absolutely

A friend commented that everyone would be judging me as sad and single with a silly dog! Even if anyone does think that, I'm enjoying myself (as is the dog who is being completely spoiled.)

@IKnowAPlace Your “friend” is a prize twat!

After MIL was widowed there was always loads of drama about her going to someone’s at Christmas and whose turn. One year because of different things she spent it alone. She seemed relieved as she seemed to dislike Christmas.
I think a lot of people only spend it with others as they feel like they have to.

I think my feelings about Christmas were shaped partly by reading The Dark is Rising as a kid, and a general fascination with England. Plus I am no fan of Australian summers anyway!

I spent it alone the year I split from my cheating husband. It was bloody awesome. Could have gone to family but didn’t want the stress or hassle of socialising and potentially spoiling someone’s Christmas.

It's my 3rd and, sadly, I've not quite figured out yet, the best way to do it.
I generally, just want it to be over so normality can resume ASAP.
I do know it can feel more lonely in someone else's house, full of cheery folk, than it feels at home alone.

What is your DH's family background? Some people with relatively uncomplicated families find it hard to imagine not wanting to be together. Also some with difficult families feel a very strong duty or obligation so find it hard to accept that it can be a valid choice to be alone.

I wanted to spend Christmas alone this year but in the end I'm not. Being alone isn't exactly my ideal day, but i would prefer it to being with my family. They're not awful people at all and I enjoy seeing them at other times in the year, but for various reasons Christmas together isn't great.

Yup. A quiet Christmas with just my husband was fine. 4th Christmas on my own because I'm a widow....not so fine.

I spent Christmas alone from age 14 to 22. I was raised by an alcoholic so Christmas for me was hell so as soon as I was old enough to not need taken care of, I would spend Christmas alone. My dad would go to a friends house to drink and I’d be alone in our house. Sounds sad but the alternative was far far worse

Why? I genuinely don't see the problem, and it's just one day.

Your DH is being unreasonable to presume everyone has family/ friends to spend it with or are happy to spend it alone. Some people are happy to spend it alone- others have no choice. Some people also have family who they are otherwise close with but are forgotten and get no invites. I’d say your DH has been lucky all these years and had enjoyable Christmas’ with family if he can’t understand how people choose to or have no choice but to spend Christmas alone

I used to pick up a work shift at Christmas to avoid the hassle of choosing who to see at Christmas, who to not see...

This year (complete career change) this isn't an option, and the number of people who have seemed offended at the thought of me not wanting to spend my xmas day choosing is mental.

It wasn't worth the arguing or wearing down, so I am now seeing 3 different groups of people/family/close friends tomorrow, and saw one set tonight.

Literally laying in bed regretting it all and really cannot be arsed with any of it tomorrow.

Next year, sticking to my guns and having a day to myself, with the dog.

I'm not surprised that it's on the rise amongst younger people. More people are choosing to remain single now and lots of people don't have family nearby.

My gran was essentially Mrs Claus and when she died ten years ago, things completely changed. My immediate family live in a different country and have long holiday over Christmas (I'm not invited and wouldn't use my annual leave/travel budget on these trips). I've had two Christmases alone at home after two break ups.

This year, I decided I'd go away to a cute hotel for the week and I'm so glad I did. Feels like my kind of treat as I'm allowed to have my little dog with me, not have to lift a finger and have delicious food.

A friend commented that everyone would be judging me as sad and single with a silly dog! Even if anyone does think that, I'm enjoying myself (as is the dog who is being completely spoiled.)

I was invited by a couple of friends to spend Christmas with them but it's a faff with my dog and I've not enjoyed this in the past - felt like some kind of onlooker.

If I was in a relationship, I'd probably still prefer to go away. It's so relaxing! There's no running around doing last minute grocery shopping - I've spent a tenner on some quality street and that's it!

It's a mix up of my kids favourite animals and a reference to our life. Single disabled mum and 3 SN kids, feels like the chaos never ends.

Oh please.. that's a bit dramatic!

Well I'm the opposite. I couldn't imagine anything worse than Christmas at a dreary, dull, cold, time of the year. Summer and Christmas go together for me, and I love it.

I agree about "alone" and "lonely" however, and like you if I want company I go our. I'm alone most of the time, I'm never lonely.

Exactly this! Christmas here is in summer, and I love just going for a couple of walks, enjoying the sunshine (hopefully!) in the evenings, eating treats, watching TV etc. I love it. I am going across the road to have lunch with my neighbours, and it was very kind of them to invite me, but I would have been just as happy here alone.

Even if you have family and friends it doesn’t mean that you have someone to be with on Christmas Day due to circumstances.

Yes I don’t think being totally alone is for me.

Done it once and it was quite nice and relaxing watched Christmas TV all day ate what I wanted no stress now running round altho I couldn't do it every year.

If I could spend it on my own I would in a flash.

Not necessarily. There are two things here: does Christmas mean anything to you (general you), and does "alone" mean "lonely"? I spend half my time alone; if I want company I go out. I am not lonely. Christmas means nothing to me and hasn't since I was a child; I'm only culturally Christian, and the whole thing feels ridiculous to me, since it's summer here and it's very much a winter festival. (I'd probably enjoy it in Europe or North America. It needs snow!)

I hated Christmas for years as I always had to travel to family. Mum made it formal and it was only parents, my brother and me allowed. Even as adults. She made such an issue out of the day it was easier to travel 200 miles for an over night. She died a few Chrismases ago.

this year I invited my dad to mine and my friends. It’s 10 of us. My partner hates Christmas as hates the forced socialising. No convincing him it will be food, drinks and fun. Very relaxed day. He doesn’t really enjoy lots of people round him all day. I love it.

so he is choosing to spend Christmas alone. We discussed it and will celebrate ourselves at new year. We like different Christmas things, so it’s a compromise

It's a difficult one. This year I'd rather be on my own because am really struggling but feel obliged to spend it with my parents, whilst I love them very much it's a very difficult situation with them and not at all helpful for my mental health. I really struggle with not having a partner or children and so feel very alone in a very anxiety provoking situation. I think what I want is a Christmas that doesn't exist for me and so in the absence of that I'd rather pretend it wasn't happening. I spend a lot of time on my own the rest of the year and am very comfortable with that but do struggle with the weight of Christmas, the expectation and pressure to be having a nice time when I am having such a hard time.

My parents and brother are dead and I spent Christmas alone before I met my partner. I got plenty of pity invites which one year I accepted. I was sorry I did, my friend said “let me know when you want to go home” almost as soon as we’d finished eating. I hadn’t even digested my food!