DH having a rant at me

What was the purpose of you commenting and moaning? He can't make his car heat up any faster.

As for the comments about the kids being cold on their way to school - honestly, get a grip of yourself. All cars are cold in the mornings.

Your moaning would have annoyed me too. What was he actually supposed to do? He couldn’t warm the car up any quicker.

There's no point complaining about things if they can't be changed.

Have you offered to buy him a new car for Christmas?

It very much depends. My friend who has long covid and uses me as a sounding board for every I'll in her life has Nnoyed me to such an extent I literally can't see her any more. She is ND.
I have plenty of problems of my own I don't bang on about to anyone.
It can get extremely wearing after a while.

Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.

Umm, what???

So you’re saying you should be able to whinge at him, as much as you feel like whinging, and he should just take it?

No, op. No he shouldn’t. That is not your role, right or privilege in a relationship.

He's trying to tell you that your constant whinging is getting him down, but instead of listening to what he’s trying to tell you, you’re attempting to make him look like an emotional abuser with comments like “He is always belittling me and my feelings”.

Listen to him op. Listen to what he’s telling you. Can you just for a second put yourself in his shoes? You’ve just freely admitted to moaning 4 times during the time it takes his car to heat up.
I’d have got out and left you in there by yourself

Quite.
My car is 10 years older than this. Takes about 5-10 minutes for the heater to start working.
I'm not sure what response OP was expecting -
I'm cold - oh I'm sorry about that, I've put the heater on.
I'm still cold - oh dear.
My feet are cold - I'm doing my best
I bet the kids are cold in the mornings - yes, I'm a terrible father.
OP - YOU need to apologise.

Christ I'd have made you walk.

1st world problems. Too cold in the car because it takes too long to heat up? This is such a teeny non-issue. You k know ow what his car is like, wrap up if you need to.
A quick passing comment “ ooh it’s chilly this morning “ is one thing, moaning on about it just makes the recipient of your complaints miserable.
Why should your DH have to put up it?

It's really hard to be round a negative complaining person. Every has an off day but some people just complain all the time, it's really hard to be round.

Just make an effort to be positive.

To put it frankly, what did you expect him to do? His car takes a while to warm up, so you repeatedly saying you were cold is just moaning? A comment is once; to repeat it again when nothing can be done about it is just being a downer.

My husband does things like that and I can tell you over time, as it is probably likely this is not a one off, it is just draining. It got to the point where I told him to stop being a negative drain on my life or I would leave him as I can't be around someone who literally takes the joy from me with all the negative comments.

Perhaps it was the verbal slap he needed, and now he's much better. Sure, the odd comment slips out but it's fine if it's a once in a while thing as that's natural. But a lot of the time? It's hard to live with.

Now I put my hands up and I might be taking my assumptions too far and perhaps your husband snapped due to other reasons and it wasn't fair on you. If my situation feels close to home though, perhaps you need to reevaluate that your 'comments' might actually be perceived as 'moans/whines' to others.

my car is this old and to starting throwing out icy air. The garage flushed the heating system out, it was full of debris and rust and now it's as good as new. I suggest your husband does this.
As to the rest of it, it does seem you are being unreasonable but if this is a pattern, maybe the two of you need to talk about what is causing these over reactions between you both.

If you are so bothered about the kids being cold on the school run (which is frankly ridiculous, unless you live in deepest Russia or something) why don’t you take them in your car instead of whinging at him about it?

You sound like a bit of a nag/whinger and he probably feels he can’t do anything right. Why don’t you chill out a bit (excuse the pun 😜)

If you were cold why didn't you adjust the heating, if your feet were cold why didn't you adjust the direction of the blowers?

Sounds like he's pissed off with your moaning.

I think you need to apologise.

If anything, @Bettib00 , I think it's YOU who should have been sympathetic towards HIM. By the sounds of it, you have a newer, warmer model of car. He has to drive around in what is - according to you - an ice box on wheels all the time.

The fact that you were unaware of this until just now suggests that he doesn't spend his time squealing like a stuck 🐖 about it.

Did you commiserate with him?

Stop moaning so much then!

What was to be gained from repeating yourself constantly?

No wonder he ranted, I would have too!

Your children will survive being a cold car in a morning.

I get his frustration.

You pecking at his head everyday...poor bloke. UABVU.

Swap cars with him, then there won’t be an issue

'Crikey, poor you Tom, in here every morning in winter. Are you ok about it? If not, shall we look at our finances and see what we can shuffle to upgrade your car?'

OP won’t be back as unfortunately the comments haven’t agreed that her DH is an utter bastard who should have better control of the weather and “listen without expectation”

If I turned the heat up in my car that my husband knows takes ages to heat up, and he then continued to moan about it being cold, I would tell him he’s free to get out and walk if me and my car aren’t suitable for his majesty. Sorry OP I agree YABU.

Yup generally hypo feel cold ... may have had their hyper over treated and gone the other way

Op - Repeatedly moaning is soul destroying to live with especially when can't do anything more to fix it. If you're that bothered about the kids getting cold on the school run you could take them yourself or contribute to a newer car

He can’t do anything about his car not heating up, can he? YABVU.

I hate moaners. My car is 21 years old, you want to see how long that takes to warm up 😅

Not wanting to forgive him for a comment is very unreasonable/toxic.

Please don't pass on this poor relationship behaviour to your children.

We used to walk to school in snow in the 1970s when teachers generally lived locally so schools didn’t shut.

Cold children lol. Dress them for the weather then, it’s bloody winter 🤣

And stop nagging your DH. Poor bloke.