To be pissed because my kids keep hurting me by jumping on me when I'm sitting on the sofa

My 13 year old still does this now. She sits down for a cuddle to watch telly and you get elbows in your ribs. It's like she has no concept that putting your whole body weight on someone through the sharp point of your elbow is likely to hurt.

The smaller one will understand a sad face better than words

The smaller one can also be physically lifted and put away from you to sit as punishment

And try if possible to have big cuddle reward as soon as one gets the message "oh you stopped - thank you so much - do you want a hug"

They are children. They are seeking vestibular and proprioceptive feedback and excitement and they have no other outlet.

If you want them to stop, find a way to meet those needs and redirect them towards that.

Op - how do I parent my children to stop jumping on me as currently I end up shouting

Reply op you have to parent your child

Erm... gee

Bribes and punishments tend to be the way , showing clearly your emotions earlier - so sad / so happy before annoyed and angry - can also help ( exaggerated face ) , and it sounds like you need a louder firm voice ?

My 8 year old does this 🤦🏼‍♀️
He just wants to be close to me so will come over and plop down next to me on the sofa and will end up standing on my leg or elbowing me in the boob or something. Without fail he wants to sit right next to/on me. Even as I write this he's snuggled up next to me.

I love it but it does hurt sometimes and sometimes you do just want your own space.
We try and explain to DS that he needs to watch where he's going and pay attention to people (me) around him so he doesn't accidentally hurt them.

I didn't much enjoy that stage where parenting feels like a series of impacts from knees/elbows/heads, but I was very firm about being left alone when I needed a quiet sit for 10 mins. If they're in the habit of it, I'd set the tone with a short but serious 'family meeting' where you say there is a new rule, there is to be no jumping on mummy, mummy is getting hurt a lot and it's making me sad. Think about how you would feel if someone kept jumping on you and hurting you. That's how I feel, very sore and sad. This will be the consequence (time out or whatever) if you jump on me.

Then I'd follow through on the consequence every single time until they get it- if they get away with it sometimes, they'll understand that the odds are decent that they'll be able to bundle on you without consequence. It'll be inconvenient to do a consequence when you were planning a quiet sit down but they'll probably get it quickly and realise that jumping always results in something they don't like.

Mine do the same at 6 and 1

They are 2 and 4

find a way to parent them .

you are the adult and you set the house rules… lovingly, kindly but firmly - set expectations and manage the situation so they are not carying on like this.

stop this unruliness and more importantly stop your passiveness urgently - stop being so weak with allowing this and then complaining ‘they don’t listen / they hurt me’

where will it end if they are running rings around you at this age?

Seriously - just parent them.

Taking a child out to play in the cold and being actively involved, and taking a child out so they can play and you try to relax, are very different things! I personally don't much enjoy sitting outside in December for any length of time (horrible memories of lockdown coming back to mind).

Re missing it when they're older...

Any idea when that kicks in? I ask because mine are in their mid 20s and I have yet to start yearning for being jumped on and trampled.

Why not? With the caveat that obviously not if it’s pissing rain!

Nothing better than fresh air running about to take the edge off their energy

Pikler triangle and slide? Worked a treat for mine at that age and you can get them second hand for a reasonable price.

Otherwise lots of outdoor walks/playground trips to wear them out!

Yeah. Even more so in December. And I'm a single mum. I had to do this kind of thing.

Hmm...my three are all teens/early twenties and I have to say, I don't miss being elbowed, thudded, jumped on or accidentally headbutted.
I miss other things, like tiny hands and childish wonder...but not that.

Don't shout at them.
Physically removed them.

No wishy washy talk and over explanation just a "No, that hurts" and move them to the floor. You should be teaching them not to jump on the sofa. An outward hand in a Stop motion will help too.

Nip it in the bud and as soon as they come near you distract and deflect, how fast can you hop on one leg? Spin in a circle? Etc

I've a condition where my joints dislocate really easily , so someone jumping on me is quite dangerous . My son used to do this to me but what I started doing was basically telling him I'm sitting down now do not jump on me and the first sign that he's going to I catch him and tell him no being rough with mammy please. You have to be so consistent but he's 3 now and knows that he must he gentle with me and if he's rough then he has to go down.

Absolutely! I can't remember my kids ever jumping all over me, I just wouldn't allow it...the dogs are definitely still a work in progress!

Mine weren’t so bad as that, but use to see me sit down and rush over to talk to me cuddle up roll about. I just wanted 5 minutes to chill before they had me again, everyone is entitled to that and they need to respect that.

I would say to them as I entered the room, I have a cup of tea and I’m going to sit and drink it then and only then you can join me. It sounds harsh but they need to learn that everyone needs space. It need mean I felt I had to rush my tea, but gradually it got better.

try distracting them with your tea take in a box of bricks, or some cars or whatever is handy and suggest they build a traffic jam or a castle or something while you drink your tea.

it doesn’t last forever and as pp have said you will miss it.

Have you got a comfortable one person chair you can sit on? I would be quite clear in advance that you are sitting on 'your' chair and having a break and they are not to jump on you. Then give them something to do on the floor such as cars or craft. Aim for ten minutes first off. Then interact with whatever they're doing. Build it up from there. I honestly view this a bit like dog training 😆

🤔🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣

You can get indoor mini soft play type things, and climbing toys - they're designed for flats really but no reason they can't be used in houses too.

Personally I think if they're hurting you, you need to be much stricter and impose consequences.

They need a different way to run off that energy.

Indoor trampoline maybe?