Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So very many threads could be simply answered with

168 replies

leafybrew · 24/12/2024 08:11

You're stupid OP - HTH

I do know this is a pretty awful thing to think and extremely negative but I will quite often think it and have a little giggle to myself.

It isn't always the OP - it can be applied to many other posters

NB post menopausal here and the filters came off a while ago.

OP posts:
Itisjustmyopinion · 24/12/2024 09:10

That something the OP thinks is outing is not usually so. If you put “golf” or “football” in your OP I am not immediately going to think oh she is talking about Dave I know who that is

TroysMammy · 24/12/2024 09:09

AsTheLightFades · 24/12/2024 08:23

It's 'Palava'

...frequently used in contexts where the fuss is long-winded and out of proportion to whatever trifle caused it, leading to an amended meaning, listed in the OED as ‘a fuss, a commotion; a tedious or unnecessarily drawn-out process, a rigmarole’.

Show quote history

Actually it's palaver. A quick look at Google got me the correct spelling.

Thepeopleversuswork · 24/12/2024 09:06

Newgirls · 24/12/2024 08:59

Many could be answered with ‘why are your standards so low?’

mostly I think there are a lot of young women on here and I wish I’d had this wealth of wisdom and humour when I was that age. I think it changes lives this funny old site

Yeah I do find it breathtaking how much shit women will tolerate before walking away from awful men.

ChampagneLassie · 24/12/2024 09:04

@TheChippendenSpook @MonickerMonica @fourelementary @UnimaginableWindBird @SparklyTurtle

just googled
the word "palaver" comes from the Portuguese word palavra, which means "word, talk, speech". It entered the English language in the early 18th century, likely through the West African coast.

The word "palaver" has multiple meanings, including:
Noun: Profuse and idle talk, chatter, or unnecessary fuss and bother

Verb: To talk profusely or idly, or to cajole or persuade

The word "palaver" originally referred to a parley or conference, especially between Europeans and Indigenous people in West Africa. Portuguese sailors used the word palavra to refer to these discussions with the native people they encountered, and English sailors adopted the word for the same purpose.

gannett · 24/12/2024 09:02

Livinginadream · 24/12/2024 08:30

I think a lot can be answered with:

Talk openly with them. It's not even a confrontation it's just talking.

Omg yes. So many threads where the OP refuses to communicate with people in her life then gets herself into a lather of overthinking.

Timely · 24/12/2024 09:00

I am astounded at the poor communication between partners. So many threads start with ‘my husband did x/y, what shall I do?’ Well, go and speak to him?! Not all these men are abusive but there is clearly a lack of open communication when women have to post on MN before speaking to their spouses.

Newgirls · 24/12/2024 08:59

Many could be answered with ‘why are your standards so low?’

mostly I think there are a lot of young women on here and I wish I’d had this wealth of wisdom and humour when I was that age. I think it changes lives this funny old site

Bjorkdidit · 24/12/2024 08:58

SparklyTurtle · 24/12/2024 08:13

Yep. Most of the time I think Google could have answered their question and there was no need for the polava of asking Mumsnet and waiting an hour for replies.

But why would you do that when you could wait an hour, and then have to try and guess the correct answer out of the sea of incorrect ones and also see your thread derailed by an inconsequential spelling error too?

ImmortalSnowman · 24/12/2024 08:56

Accidentallyrude · 24/12/2024 08:35

I got pavlova all over my balaclava! What a palaver!

Pavlova over baklava would be a sugar nightmare.

Peachy2005 · 24/12/2024 08:49

Let’s not bring it back as a typo! Rigmarole and palaver…Jesus wept!!

bobberra · 24/12/2024 08:47

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 24/12/2024 08:24

Let's bring back rigamarole! Not heard it used in ages!

I was just sitting here thinking the same thing after reading it in the comment above. Definitely going to find a way to get that into the conversation today!

SadSandwich · 24/12/2024 08:42

I like a pavlova

MammaTo · 24/12/2024 08:41

Not everything needs to be over thought and analysed. The art of conversation is lost on some of the people on here. If you don’t want to do something then don’t do it. If you don’t like how someone is treating you, then tell them or remove yourself from the situation.

Also - ignoring red flags and having babies with shitty men is one of the stupidest decisions someone can make.

ilovesooty · 24/12/2024 08:41

Livinginadream · 24/12/2024 08:30

I think a lot can be answered with:

Talk openly with them. It's not even a confrontation it's just talking.

I think that's a good point. A lot of distressing situations do have their roots in communication difficulties I think.

Donkeyfromshrek · 24/12/2024 08:37

You're stupid OP - HTH 😂

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Edingril · 24/12/2024 08:36

It would be simpler if people just
said what they want to hear

'This is the situation only reply if you agree i am in the right'

Thesheerrelief · 24/12/2024 08:35

Palaver, I believe 😁

Accidentallyrude · 24/12/2024 08:35

I got pavlova all over my balaclava! What a palaver!

Gloriousgardener11 · 24/12/2024 08:35

Lack of common sense comes to mind with so many posts.

UndeniablyGenX · 24/12/2024 08:35

All the OPs going into minute detail about the man they're dating messing them around, trying to extract the exact nuances from every remark they've ever made and presenting their one line text-messages for detailed analysis:

He's just not that into you.

Barney16 · 24/12/2024 08:34

I have learnt a lot of things on MN. Obviously the chicken thing, then that noone likes a MIL, and that women put up with behaviour from men that is simply outrageous. And worse still try to rationalise their husbands or partners behaviour. The chicken thing makes me laugh, the MIL thing makes me think hmmmm, but the descriptions of male behaviour I find jaw dropping. In relation to this I think a lot of posts could be answered by, imagine your best friend is describing this situation to you, what would you say to her?

Lentilweaver · 24/12/2024 08:33

I wouldnt say stupid. But I do often want to say
Nobody is thinking about you or staring at you
Go to your GP and get that anxiety treated because its not normal
You dont have to be a martyr mum and spend 18 years never having time away from your children.

curious79 · 24/12/2024 08:32

The worst ones are ‘I am bleeding severely … my X has fallen off… should I go to A&E?’

Isn’t posting on mumsnet the last thing you think about when faced with a medical emergency?!

Livinginadream · 24/12/2024 08:30

I think a lot can be answered with:

Talk openly with them. It's not even a confrontation it's just talking.

MonickerMonica · 24/12/2024 08:29

fourelementary · 24/12/2024 08:19

Try googling “polava”?

Show quote history

My old dad used to wear a polava. Kept his chest warm in the cold weather.

😁