Exh left kids alone - handhold

Then clearly their dad made the judgement they’re fine to be left alone. Which he is allowed to do as their parent. OP can’t just dictate things.

6 seems too young to be left and 9 seems too young to be left in charge of a younger sibling. I'd teach them some home safety skills (phoning 999, getting out in an emergency, basic first aid) and have a word with exh that they still seem too young in your opinion and to find out his rationale. It doesn't have to be an angry confrontation, just a discussion about how to reconcile two different opinions.

I’m 90s kid and I know times where different back then but I was left alone at home when I was 5, suppose I was really mature and responsible kid never did anything naughty, knew my address and how to use phone, never open the door to strangers but leave if there is fire/ emergency.
All my friends parents were doing the same and it was just normal back then.

Are kids just really childish and irresponsible these days or are we just not giving them a chance?
10 and 7 seems to me very normal age to left for a quick shop unless special needs etc.
Teach them what needs to be done in emergency and they will be fine.

Half an hour is fine.

instead of wasting your time & energy arguing with him about this, spend the time & energy making sure they know what to do in an emergency. If you're worried about there being no landline but them a dumb mobile.

and reinforce that they are both 'home without an adult'. Don't put the responsibility on the 10 year old. If anything should ever happen it's too much guilt for a child to live with. Life changing.

Depends on the individual 6 year old and their relationship with the 10 year old. My youngest gets into all sorts and fights with the 10 year old so I dont leave them together. My eldest confidently left at home at 10. I'd leave middle child too, but he isn't comfortable on his own past the 10 minutes to do the school run. They're individual concerns though, I think most kids are fine at those ages. Must admit though I haven't mentioned it to friends and it's good to see I'm not the only one that does this.

25 minutes is completely OK. This is a problem with your anxiety and distrust but I can't see an issue with your DH leaving them for 25 minutes on their own.

Everyone I knew though had a landline, so you might not have been able to call your parent unless they were somewhere specific like work but you could still call emergency series or a family friend or relative for help. My dad had am outdoor job and we couldn't contact him while he was working at all. At 12 I had to ring for an ambulance after my brother collapsed and go with him to hospital, it took them an hour to track my dad down. Since I have no landline at our house and XH has none at his and I don't want my kids home without a phone they have access to a mobile to use if necessary.

My eldest was happy alone for 90 minutes at that age. We did once try 2 hours because she really didn't want to go to her brothers therapy appointment (he has SN) but she decided that was too much. Current 10 year old is happy for me to do the school run, which is 10 minutes and that's it unless his sister is home with him. Kids can differ a lot so I go on what they're comfortable with.

But the 6 year old is with the 10 year old. If the 10 year old can't babysit for 25 mins, there is something wrong there.

That doesn’t make it ok though. And there is no way I would ever leave my children alone in the care of a 12 year old.

Yes mine are a similar age and I agree with this.

The vast majority of 7 year olds can dress themselves. Mine have SN but could all dress themselves before 7, including the one that had significant fine motor delays at 5 we did a lot of work on this with OT and physio. Him not being able to dress himself at 5 was already seen as a significant delay in his fine motor and personal care skills. If she has developmental delays or a physical or mental disability it's not really the same. If she doesn't have a relevant diagnosis or disability Id be getting this checked out personally.

I would be upset about this too OP, when it comes to leaving the kids on their own, parents need to be on the same page and it might be an unpopular opinion but I think the parent who is uncomfortable with it trumps the other parent!

Not a chance would I leave a 9 and 6 year old home alone for any amount of time and I know my partner would 100% agree with this. Away from mumsnet, I don't know anyone in real life who would ever leave their children home alone at these ages.

I would expect a 10 year old to be left a lot longer than a mere 25 mins! Some 10 year old even babysit their siblings when their parent goes shopping or in town. Many 10 year olds were proudly latchkey kids and walked to school and back. What is going on with society when a 10 year old cannot even be left at home for 25 mins for goodness sake? No wonder kids are growing up and leaving home unable to navigate the tube or be on their own. Its really embarrassing that this is society today. To me their father is being a responsible father and not babying them and wrapping them in cotton wool. And kids can duck next door to the neighbours surely if something happens. Like we all did growing up when none of us had mobile phones back then.

Away from mumsnet in the real world I don't know anyone who would have a problem leaving a 10 year old at home alone for half a day, let alone 25 mins - thank goodness.

I wouldn't be happy about him leaving them with no phone, but the time and ages aren't an issue for me as long as the kids are comfortable with it. I know mine are happy to skip the shops whenever they can. I wouldn’t actually leave my 8 & 10 year old home together, but that's because they fight. Happy to leave them with my 13 year old in charge and she's stayed home on her own since she was 9 or 10. XH left 10 year old at home on his own without a phone for over half an hour recently, which I wasn't happy about so I'm organising him a cheap phone with a small amount of credit. 10 year old isn't actually happy staying that long, but was sick and they weren't supposed to be gone long. He was upset after, but telling XH that will result in nasty behaviour so I'm solving the issue without his input.

Too young in my opinion to be left home alone. The youngest anyway, and oldest shouldn’t be responsible for looking after the youngest

That seems really old to me.

I was babysitting other people's children at 12.

It sounds like your anxiety made that decision.

I'm maybe old fashioned but I never left my very sensible DS home alone until he was about 14.

I've seen too many horror stories about house fires and kids being trapped to trust the survival instincts of such young kids if there was an emergency situation.

Handhold for what?

He would not be having them again if he was my Ex he'd have to see them at mine or only take them out for the day , if he didn't like it he'd have to take me to court.
If he can't be trusted he would not have them alone.

Is she delayed? Dressing yourself is on the curriculum for EYFS as a milestone that children should have hit by the age of 5. Why was she inconsolable to be looked after by the 21 year old? Do you never go out without her?

Unless the children have special needs I see no problem with this at all. I am also a foster carer and children's services would not object either.

Not every 6 year old is the same, some are easier to teach what to do in x circumstances over others and depends on the support / familiarity of neighbours around them.

I was coming to say I think its OK but seen your update of no phone and I would be nervous too. My husband or I probably would have left ours at that age, however witb a phone, with knowledge of how to get out in a fire and who to run to if scared etc.

We have 5 girls of varying ages so do leave the older with a younger one for short bursts, they have to learn at some stage and I would rather remove the enigma young. But really does depend on how they are left and how mature they are.

Maybe teach them how to use a mobile in an emergency and give them a phone to take with thrm. You can't force your ex but you can work around his parenting I would do that.

I’m amazed people left 6yo at home