To think it’s so selfish to take sick kids out in public places

Honestly, if any of our children were immunocompromised, we’d all be wearing masks. I see quite a few people in them and don’t bat an eye, it’s quite normal post-pandemic.
In an ideal world, of course we’d all consider others but that’s just not going to happen for many reasons, some selfish, some good.

The fact is you don't actually know how sick the child is in any of your examples.
They might have been perfectly fine in the morning, and start feeling sick half way through the show.
They might have had that fever/cold for days and be fine once Calpol starts working which can take 30-60 min.
It could just be a cold with coughing and sneezing but no sign of fever.

You have actually no clue, their parents do.

It’s the older ones that don’t cover their mouths.

Coughs and sneezes spreads diseases.

Wish people would understand that they need to cover their mouths

Perhaps op you should be campaigning for better refund policies for attractions, shows etc because the truth is you have to book months in advance, spend lots of money so people are not going to miss for mild illness. Now chickenpox mentioned in the thread is different, a potentially serious illness that is notifiable quite different to the low grade fevers, mild coughs and colds that we carry on with.

As we learned when we tried this during covid, this is a risky game for people with underlying health conditions. It is not a good idea to try and institute norms that are going to lead to the more anxious and/or arsehole members of society thinking they've got a right not to be around people who look visibly unwell or have coughs. The easiest targets are the ones who get bullied.

The risk of catching bugs is sadly a part of life - in fact people are often most infectious before symptoms have even appeared, so you can just as easily catch something off the apparently healthy person on the train/bus/etc too.

That said, I do find it astonishing that we've come through the pandemic and many people still do not know (or care) how to cough and sneeze politely. Spluttering all over the place without covering their mouths and noses properly, sneezing in their hands and then touching everything in sight. It's basic consideration to at least try not to spread your germs to other people.

It seems to be you can't expect people to stay away from crowds when unwell which could be a few days but immunocompromised should stay away from crowds - for life?

I do my best, don't use public transport, don't fly, don't go to theatres or gigs etc but there's a huge different when something is lifelong and you have to balance living and well, living!

That’s a very good idea, but to reduce the spread, what you need is for all those with symptoms to be in masks too, so they don’t contaminate the indoors air for hours (depending on which virus they are exhaling)

I think OP is right, those with symptoms should stay at home as much as possible

There are 4 nasty viruses in pretty free circulation at the moment. And one of them (covid) is notorious for reducing your immune system making everything in the following few months rather worse. I think the winter pressures on NHS are going to be really tough this year - they’ve already started on the warnings.

People will blame the cuts, rather than our attitude to spreading infectious diseases.

But remember that the last rounds of capacity reductions were several years ago now. What makes a year better/worse for NHS is the level of circulation of winter viruses

I understand OP. People are generally selfish and don't care about anyone other than themselves. It's also selfish to take a sick child out for the sake of the sick child.

It might depend on what is wrong.
My son currently has scarlet fever and his cheeks are very red. He doesn't look great but he's okay in himself. He has had antibiotics for 24 hours and so he is no longer contagious.

I would hate for someone to think I'm selfish for taking him out when the Dr has said its okay and he is not contagious due to medication.

I understand there are many different illnesses etc and if people are ill and contagious it's selfish to be out and about for sure.

It's fine to go out or to go to work with a cold. You can't stay in for every little thing.

No way are people still talking about masks in 2024.

Do you remember that time when everyone owned a face mask and wore it out of the house... to protect other people from their germs, which is how masking works. Just a thought.

Kids often have snotty noses and coughs from September onwards, it’s pretty much unavoidable and they have passed it on most likely before they look sick. If my child was immunocompromised I would be taking steps to shield her. Every time you leave the house or touch a surface you run the risk of picking something up. DD has been sick, I kept her home for a few days but after that if a cold is not shifting then expecting her to stay at home for 2 weeks is just not practical. Her whole class has been laid low and it’s not because people have been sending visibly sick kids in, it’s because they pass it on before their parents realise they are ill.

My MIL struggles during the winter, she reduces her own contact with people she doesn’t expect the rest of the world to stop because she can’t guarantee that anyone she has contact with isn’t carrying a virus that hasn’t made itself known yet.

COVID has done something to people, it seems to have increased anxiousness about normal colds and flus.

@endofthelinefinally it was aweful really but you can never win. Now they're at school they want kids to stay home if sick but then push attendance so hard and send letters to say you need to do better so you have to send the kids in with a cold

That is really bad. It always used to be the rule to use a separate room. One of the gps I worked with once actually stuck his head out of the window to look at a child brought round the back of the building. It was a nice sunny day to be fair.

@endofthelinefinally when my boy had chicken pox they got infected. Rang the doctor and was told to sit at the doctors waiting room with him. Poorly people everywhere. But for him to get some medicine he could have made a lot of vulnerable people poorly. But that was the only option. I hated knowing that we were risking people's health but he needed antibiotics

Of course it's fair to say all people with colds can't be expected to stay home all the time. Some people might not manage it at all. Some could probably manage it sometimes though IF they decided to try, and FOMO didn't win over being considerate of other people.

DC and I have had constant colds and viruses since the start of school this year and I still need to get them to school when they're well enough, go food shopping, take the train. Obviously it's not possible or even allowed to stay at home with every virus. If it affects someone or their family members more severely, it's their responsibility to mitigate the risk. One of those things where other people/the world will just not be accommodating, as frustrating as it is.

This. I see so many people complaining about people coughing and spluttering etc and a lot of this could be avoided if people wore masks again.

That seems to be too much work for everyone, however.

I wouldn’t cancel something for a cough, these things cost a lot of money. Mine were in nursery and school so caught a lot of things and sick a lot in the winter. Not great for you, but I think you have a to assume everywhere you go now will have sick people.

I get you.
Maybe add a layer of protection by wearing a face mask.
I think lots of it is simply parents being desensitised towards their children's illnesses because there's always some snot or cough happening. Also, the feeling that you must do it because you bought the tickets, it's a special occasion, your child will throw a fit.
It's also a habit, being particularly pushed by schools which value attendance over anything else. You will get posters who will ask if a clear attendance sheet should be prioritised over the health of children and the answers will be full of shared memories of Moms sending their children to school just hours after an amputation of all limbs and a close call with Black Death because anything else just makes your child look weak.

I do take my kids out if they are sick if I have to. I don’t take them to play dates, parties, play grounds, any appointments I can change. I only take sick kids if have an appointment that I can’t re book, or if I had expensive tickets to something. I don’t do catch ups with people before Christmas.