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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why is this happening now?

37 replies

Beingamumistough · 23/12/2024 20:23

So my children are 3 and 6 and my ex husband was so lazy and spent so much time away from the family home that I decided to end it. He was always out on various nights out/hobbies etc and the kids were always for me as I was the one who was always there. I don’t know if I should be happy or gutted about this but they came home from their dads today and my son cried himself to sleep because he misses him, part of me thinks this reaffirms my decision as he is spending quality time with them but I also hate to see him cry. Why couldn’t he have put the effort in when he was here?

OP posts:
Original poster
Beingamumistough · 23/12/2024 21:11

we broke up prior to this and he told me he had met somebody else and I begged for him back. He has tried this again but I didn’t react so now he is moving onto the kids

OP posts:
Davros · 23/12/2024 21:10

@Guest100 maybe invite their dad over for dinner once a week.

Mad suggestion imo

Original poster
Beingamumistough · 23/12/2024 21:06

Guest100 · 23/12/2024 21:04

Because you threw him out. Once he is done punishing you, he will probably go back to ignoring the kids.

I messaged him and told him and I just said I think it is lovely that he misses him. It confirms my decision was correct, he didn’t reply

OP posts:
Guest100 · 23/12/2024 21:04

Because you threw him out. Once he is done punishing you, he will probably go back to ignoring the kids.

Original poster
Beingamumistough · 23/12/2024 21:02

They have never ever said they have kissed him before. Why is he putting in the effort now? Even when he lived with us they never asked where he was.

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 23/12/2024 20:43

He’s a Disney dad, and there’s nothing wrong with your son still loving and missing his dad. Their relationship is separate to yours and ex H’s. Why would you be second guessing leaving him? Nothing has changed between you and him.

itsmylife7 · 23/12/2024 20:41

“Disney Parent” actually has a legal definition: “a noncustodial parent who indulges his or her child with gifts and good times during visitation and leaves most or all disciplinary responsibilities to the other parent.”

Guest100 · 23/12/2024 20:40

Your son may have been crying because he was overwhelmed and exhausted. Hopefully your ex has now stepped up to parent the kids when with him. This is a good thing, don’t take him back he will just go back to his old ways. Just work on being great co parents. If the kids are mostly with you, maybe invite their dad over for dinner once a week.

itsmylife7 · 23/12/2024 20:39

It's because he's spending time playing or giving them sweets.

All the stuff he couldn't be bothered to do when he lived with them

I believe its called "Disney dad "

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 23/12/2024 20:38

It's easy to be a Disney dad. He was willing to be a proper parent. List every single reason you left, not here just for yourself. To don't really away from a marriage because someone is a bit lazy and has hobbies. Remind yourself of why you left.

TinyMouseTheatre · 23/12/2024 20:38

Are you questioning your decision to leave your ExH?

I'm sure they you didn't make that decision lightly? I'm sure that the reasons you had at the time are still valid.

Original poster
Beingamumistough · 23/12/2024 20:36

Can somebody please reply as I am seriously questioning my decision

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