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Original poster

AIBU to think a relationship with a man with BPD is doomed to fail?

28 replies

shoplifteroftheworld · 23/12/2024 19:46

I met a younger man back in May and fell for him immediately. He moved in with me in October and the last few months have been chaotic to say the least. He has Borderline Personality Disorder. I have worked in mental health before and supported two women with BPD but being in a romantic relationship is very different.

Is anyone else in a relationship with someone with BPD or have you been in the past? Does anyone have BPD and, if so, can you explain how you feel and behave in romantic relationships? Has anything helped you? Counselling, CBT, medication?

I love this man but his condition makes our relationship really difficult. Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
CharlotteLightandDark · 23/12/2024 19:57

I work in mental health and know plenty of amazing people with BPD. It can be treatable but does vary wildly depending how much a.insight and b.responsibility people take for managing it.

however no i absolutely would not date anyone with it. It’s primarily a disorder of relationships and relationships are huge trigger points. I couldn’t be doing with the need for reassurance and push/pull behaviour.

doing the job I do I really need my home life to be drama free and chilled/upbeat. I feel like this would be the opposite of that:

wizzywig · 23/12/2024 19:53

Honestly leave. The speed that you have moved in together is typical of the all or nothing intensity of bpd. Your knowledge of the condition is professional. The reality will suck you in, drain you. This is not a relationship of equals

Differentstarts · 23/12/2024 19:52

I have bpd, I wouldn't date someone with bpd. Nothing has really helped im on a lot of medication which makes me calmer. Cbt did nothing, dbt is supposed to be better but it's not offered in my area. Every relationship iv been in is very up and down and I need to be with calm, rational people to balance me out it's very hard on my partner and past partners.