Please, I need to get this off my chest.

"He's said to me if it's over then it's over for good. No going back."

So still threatening you?

"No talk on when he's actually going yet."

This is your job now. YOU need to give him a deadline and a consequence.

Can you do that?

Ha so he is now desperately trying to gain control by saying once it’s over he won’t come back is so lame. He’s trying to make you doubt yourself but you know it’s over and everyone feels flat boxing date evening. All that work for a few days

It's all talk to control and make you worry about the future. He knows he's gone too far. Don't fall for it.

Hi @Vanillaskieshazeleyes , I've had a lovely Christmas, thanks for asking. You can have a lovely Christmas next year too once you've got hm out of the house. All this rubbish about no other man getting near his DC and once it's over, that's it, it IS rubbish, he knows his time is up and he's trying desperately to make you change your mind. In reality, once he's gone he has no say in your future life, he has a right to see his DC but nothing else, you don't have to do as he says, nor do you have to see him. Stay brave Op, you're nearly there

@Vanillaskieshazeleyes I’m sorry you’re going through this - but better things ahead! I hope you have a lovely NYE.

@Vanillaskieshazeleyes just checking in you are OK? Have you got a date for him to move out?

You are doing the right thing by ditching him. You only have one shot at life, and are still young. You have two beautiful children that need you and this issue you are describing is toxic.

Get him gone. Make sure the finances are sorted. Get legal advice re: contact with the kids. And then focus on you.

OP you aren't weak. You know the right answer here but he is trying to manipulate you.

Just pick a sentence and keep repeating it.

He will go through the process, pleading, manipulating, sobbing and promising then eventually get angry and strop off with any luck.

You will feel the peace return to your life when he's left.

Please do get IRL support though, women's aid or a friend. This but can be hard but don't back down.

Oh another classic! My cheating ex said that to me and indeed demanded I didn't take our son around one of my very good male friends who he clearly felt threatened by. Absolute nonsense.

I hope you can get through the day and have a chance to enjoy time with your kids.

Wishing you strength and every happiness going forward x

Have you considered speaking to the Police about his coercive behaviour?
This may be a solution or having a discussion with a solicitor for 30 minutes which some of them offer for free.
Failing that speak to Citizens advice.
I wish you all the best with a very difficult situation.

I'm so glad you're getting rid of him.

I'm interested to know what a man like this thinks of the French case. Has he commented on it at all?

OP, you are doing the right thing and ignore people you chose this, you’re absolutely right, you didn’t choose him knowing who he was, he tricked you.

Please don’t fall for his begging, as you can see, his threats are hanging in the air already.

Sorry if I’ve missed this, has he agreed to move out?

You need to work on your own self respect and own your choices

You chose to be with this creep why no one but you knows but do you honestly need to be told this is not healthy?

Well the children don’t need another man, they need their father in their lives.

Plus don’t listen to that nonsense. He’s just trying to go after what you care about the most.

You somehow have to concentrate on the children and blank him out tomorrow. He is all out for himself, he won’t be any different tomorrow or any other day, he is consumed by what makes him happy and you spent years saying no to him about his threesome fantasy he wanted you to participate in. He didn’t give a shit you didn’t want to, he was relentlessly trying to get you to bend to his will.

He believes life is all about pleasing him and he will never be happy with what he has because he will always be focused on having more. He had you but that wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to add in another sexual partner and couldn’t let it go. He is consumed with his own desires and needs and doesn’t see any wrong in eclipsing your own to get his own way. He is a selfish, self consumed twat that doesn’t care if your or Dc day is ruined if he can’t brow beat you down.

I would tell him to leave on Boxing Day if he is awful tomorrow, wait till the Dc go to bed though.

Another classic sentence! He’s not very original.

Good luck, sending you strength to get through the next couple of days. Keep saying to yourself next Christmas this will just be a bad memory. Your new life without these horrendous mind games is just a few days away. It will be hard at first but the reward is getting to focus on your own needs and being a happy mother for your DC.

I’m glad the scales have fallen from your eyes. Wishing you every strength 🌸

He is trying to wear you down. You know in your heart this is all an act - the tears, the begging, all the different things he is trying. If he really cared about you, then you would not have got to this point, he would be trying to make Christmas nice for you all and he would not also be making nasty comments. He is still treating you really badly and the person he is upset and sorry for for is himself and only only himself. Stay strong.

Um, how do you know ow what he is or isn't capable of? To us, it sounds exactly like the sort of thing he is likely to escalate to.

He is obsessed, your words! He treats you like a sex aid, he clearly doesn't value you, your safety or opinions. Why wouldn't he drug you and pass you around?

Victims never see this stuff coming.

Please, please be so careful and keep your guard up. Especially now you've expressed an interest in leaving him.

He is treating you like a sex aid. He is utterly revolting!

Tell him the sex with the other guy was way better and you're off.

Not really... but seriously! Get rid of the vile pig. How dare he treat you that way!