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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how you know your ex wants you back

33 replies

Harriet89 · 23/12/2024 10:26

Do they always come back?

my ex seemed to get over our 17 year relationship really easily by going out with friends etc whilst I was a complete mess. I seem to be ok now but he keeps coming round asking me questions and delving into my life (we have 2 children) he also told me that he really likes a woman from work and she is so much better than me.

is this what they do? It has been almost 5 months and I am almost back to myself now and don’t cry at all anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Harriet89 · 23/12/2024 10:56

He has asked me to sort out childcare tomorrow as apparently I have loads more support than him. We are both working but Monday and Tuesday are his days. I have asked my sister in law and she said she will have him but I would never turn to him for that as I know there is no way he can help.

OP posts:
lifeisforlaying · 23/12/2024 10:43

They do sometimes come back but why would you even entertain that? And that's not really the point is it? Why would you want someone back who treats you like shit? Don't tell him anything he doesn't need to know, engage with him regarding the kids/financial/essential stuff and nothing else. Take time to work on yourself and treat yourself with compassion, he's hurt you but you don't need to be caught up in his bullshit, you deserve much better.

Deliveringpressies · 23/12/2024 10:40

my ex seemed to get over our 17 year relationship really easily by going out with friends etc - he’s shallow
he keeps coming round asking me questions and delving into my life (we have 2 children) -he’s nosy and has FOMO.
he also told me that he really likes a woman from work and she is so much better than me - he wants to unsettle you. Give him a one-way ticket to her as an early Christmas present and happily wave him off.
Come back? Who would want him back? You can do far better than him OP.

EmptyBowl · 23/12/2024 10:38

Harriet89 · 23/12/2024 10:31

I think my question is. Do they always come back when they realise the grass isn’t greener? I don’t want him back but it would do my ego some good.

You’re giving him way too much headspace. Concentrate on civilly co-parenting with him, and ignore his dreary talk about his sex life. No, I don’t think most people who leave seriously contemplate returning. What’s more concerning is that you’re still very focused on him.

Your only retort when he starts to talk about the woman at work who is so much better than you should be a joky ‘Well, I hope someone that good is ok with you saying ‘Ooh, mummy’ when you come/leaving your pants on the stairs/ quoting Dirty Harry films at her’.

Comedycook · 23/12/2024 10:35

Harriet89 · 23/12/2024 10:31

I think my question is. Do they always come back when they realise the grass isn’t greener? I don’t want him back but it would do my ego some good.

That's very sad to hear...I hope you can work on your self esteem

Edingril · 23/12/2024 10:33

Working on your self respect might do more good

Original poster
Harriet89 · 23/12/2024 10:31

I think my question is. Do they always come back when they realise the grass isn’t greener? I don’t want him back but it would do my ego some good.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 23/12/2024 10:28

Stop wasting your time trying to analyse his shitty behaviour.