To ask for help with paying off debt?

Agree with this. OP, I was once in a lot more debt than you. I had a very very boring time while I paid it off. But it was worth it to get out from under it, and you know what else? We got into some really good habits during all that time of being frugal.

These days our only non-mortgage debt is a low interest fixed rate loan DH has (we could pay it off now, but it makes more sense to earn interest on the savings) and I am also on a much higher salary with a lot more disposable income. But because of those good habits we got into, we don’t just spend spend spend - in fact a huge chunk goes into savings on pay day.

Yes, it’s boring being frugal and paying off debt, but it will help you develop better habits that will stand you in good stead long after the debt is cleared.

As to feeling shame or stress about it, might it help to talk to a counsellor? As a civil servant you can usually access this free - search for ‘employee assistance programme’ on your intranet, usually you can get 6-8 sessions of private therapy for free. It’s confidential from your employer, the only thing they share is how many people used it.

Your CS pension is worth it's weight in gold (I'm assuming you are in Alpha). It should be the absolute last thing you stop paying into. You need to make sure that if you do stop paying that you start paying into it again within the set time period it it will count as broken service. If you don't understand the pension you can book an appointment via the pension page to get someone to explain it to you (or ask your line manager).

The little things all add up, I was finding myself short at the end of every month and didn’t know why but when I looked back it was just because of lots of payments under £20 coming out across every week. A lot of it was shopping but instead of doing one big shop I was going to the shops most days and buying what I needed, but then often a treat as well or would buy loads of stuff on yellow sticker but that I didn’t actually need so although I’d got £30 worth of food for £10 I wouldn’t actually eat it all or would be eating more than I needed.

I would try and do one big shop instead of lots of little ones for your food and toiletries etc and meal plan so that you’re not buying more than you need. Bulk buy things like pet food, laundry products etc so that you don’t need to be replenishing often and so that you’re getting the best deal. Give yourself a weekly budget for ‘extras’ and don’t spend above this, turning contactless off on your phone so you have to use cash or chip and pin might help make sure spending is mindful. Turn off any one click purchasing options on places like Amazon and other online retailers too, again so you have to stop and think ‘so I really need this?’ before you spend. Your fixed outgoings like mortgage and bills are quite low compared to your take home pay so the issue is definitely with how you are budgeting for everything else.

Once you r cleared the credit card debt set up a savings account and a direct debit so a few hundred a month is taken straight out of your salary the day you get paid and put into savings, you will then have a safety net for any big unexpected payments like dentistry, home repairs, furniture etc without needing to use the credit card.

I see you said you couldn't get a 0% credit card, but could you maybe qualify for a personal loan with a lower interest rate than your card? Use the cash to pay off the card then pay off the loan as early as possible

When I wanted to pay off the mortgage, my main trick was to just pay the money off. I knew from adding up bills that we could cope on £x, allowed an extra £100 for emergencies, and paid the rest off. Get "pots" for the bank and move money for all bills in there, then you keep an eye on the remainder. It's much better to be looking at £450 at the beginning of the month thinking that's all for the month and budgeting from there - rather than spending away and hoping wistfully that money will somehow save itself by month end. Promise yourself a treat when it's paid off, a blow-out of spending the extra on something exciting and frivolous.

Getting on top of spending means minimising expenses out; one night out each month and otherwise read / free exercise clubs / TV films etc. One of Netflix or Amazon or Disney or Now is a good investment if it'll keep you at home. For food shop, you need to get more frugal; pasta, bread, soups, rice are all cheap bought in bulk. You can get bake at home rolls for treats. Chop and freeze onions, courgette, aubergine, cauliflower etc to take advantage of deals without it going bad, invest in a few basic spice jars, and make nice meals at home. Toiletries and cleaning products - it's your own home, so worth shopping around for bigger cheaper items in month 1 and getting the benefit in future months of only topping up; £1 bleach is fine, decent dishwasher or laundry tablets on half price, fairy liquid on 3 for 2 etc.

Good luck!

Pets are incredibly expensive.

{if they are insured}

But the thought of NOT insuring is terrifying.
My dog is one my biggest outgoings, {insurance, routine wormers, 'healthy pet club' vaccines} plus good quality food.

In 'real terms', it's much more expensive to own a pet now than 15 years ago.

But they bring so much joy with their faithful companionship.

Re cancelling your Civil Service pension...hell no!

Don't do that...they have superb pensions.

Are you buying a lot of coffees and snacks out? these can really add up.

A coffee and snack a day can easily be £8 these days.

I find that it helps to not use my debit card during the week except for the weekly supermarket shop. Take cash out the machine and use that for spending money. I don't know what you habits are, but maybe £60 a week, for example. Then you can track what you spend.
Also go through you bank statements for the last 2 months so that you can see everything that goes out your account each month and on what dates. Keep this list handy so you can also know what else is set to go out before payday.

When you say ‘little things’ what do you mean exactly? That’s the kind of spending that can feel ok each individual time, but it all adds up.

Please rethink cancelling your pension contributions, it is madness to opt out if you are in alpha. Also, staying in and batch cooking may seem boring - but it will be worth it if you clear the debt faster!

I know that when we first bought a property we put too much into that and regretted not keeping more savings back for emergencies and just life. But what’s done is done now. At least you have your own place, that’s fab!

5 months in, staying in should be fun and easy. Movie nights, board games etc. The debt isn’t that bad but you are living beyond your means. You are a single adult and you’ve just bought a home, booked a holiday, are trying to go out on dates, pay for a pet too. It’s too much. It’s time to be responsible until that modest debt is paid off and get into good financial habits. Do a budget and stick to it, that doesn’t mean no fun money at all, but if you’ve budgeted for it and are overpaying the debt then itl feel better anyway.

You need the Debt Payoff Planner app (the free version) it has a light blue background and a dove carrying dollar bills and put all and any debt on there. It gives a great visual representation of what you own and also calculates which debt to pay off first related to Apr and gives you the date that it will be paid off.

Has your lifestyle creep increased in the last 5 months? And has this debt increased in that time? Who suggests going out and are your incomes similar or are you trying to keep up with someone with more disposable income?

It may be that having a boyfriend right now isn't the right time, or having a boyfriend who is a spender. Or it might be that you need to plan better and take advantage of Meerkat Movies or other discounts you are eligible for.

I'm not having a go, I've been a single parent for 15 years so I know it's rubbish to say no to things, but your mental health will improve massively and you'll be more fun to be around with the debt gone.

take up card games or board games, scrabble with friends

You need to go through 3-6 months of bank statements and look at where your money is going - coffee/lunch/quick shops really add up. I know my budget goes out of wack when I'm popping to the shops for mid week milk shops etc.
Go through your statements and look at where your money is going rather than where you think it's going (could be very different) then use money saving expert website for a budget creator, it's free (Don't pay for one!!), it will make you think about your yearly expenses so that you can include them in your monthly budget.
Things like birthdays, Christmas, insurances etc so there aren't any surprises.
Spend time over Christmas looking through some of the websites, sell what you can, use cashback sites where you can etc.
Don't feel like you're failing, we've all been there and once you have all the information you will feel in control as you'll have a plan to pay off your card.

What hobbies do you have? It sounds like some times you are spending money because you are bored? You can have friends over to your house and take turns cooking for each other or have a film night or board games? Or you can do a hobby which can earn you/ save you money like learning to sew or do DIY?

Hi OP, I am frugal by nature. I was chatting to a lovely cab driver recently he grew up poor outside the UK and I grew up fairly poor in the UK we agreed that there were just less things when we were younger to want.
In my life I've met two types of person, frugal even wealthy people can be frugal, and the others. People like yourself who have a can't do without this holiday/watch/diamond earrings mindset.
I'm a cut my coat according to my cloth sort of person rather than I have to have a coat so this prada one is therefore a bargain.
I'm not wanting to be mean and I don't want to hurt your feelings but if you want to be debt free and have a pension you need to deal with your mindset first.
With your income you can budget properly and have enough food and no debt but you need to shake that "I'm bored, I deserve to go out" mindset. And I grew up in the countryside before the Internet and TV had 3 channels and my nearest city was Cambridge, which has only two things of interest Colleges and churches! So don't tell me about bored.

find a free hobby
or cheaper
i wouldnt go to cinema

HRFT- OP your income is £2060 and your outgoings are £934 so you should have left is £1126- I don’t think you need a new job you need to budget x

Don’t feel too bad on yourself, you’ve just moved into a flat and obviously needed to spend a lot of money on essential furniture. You can see where you need to be, by paying credit card balance, as much as you can each month. It’s going to be tough for a few months yet, can you try and contact credit card company and ask for a payment plan, so you don’t keep adding more interest. No point worrying about the holiday, it’s booked now, but try and do a budget plan for all your money. I do agree going out at night can get really expensive, so you may need to stay in a while, just until you’ve cleared the credit card and re start your pension payments when you can.

You need to prioritise clearing the debt, which means only buying essentials.

Download the MSE budget planner and look at all your bank statements and credit cards, and record everything onto the budget planner.

You can't afford to save anything at the moment, so don't think about that until you have cleared the debt.

You can't afford a holiday, or to go to the cinema, or takeaways etc. It is the only way, to literally just spend the money that you have and buy the things that you need, not the things that you want.

It won't always be like this. I understand that you have had extra costs due to moving and that is different to frivolous spending.

Once the debt is cleared, you need to cut up the credit card so that you don't do it again. I have seen too many people borrow money and just run the debt up again and then owe twice as much.

Rather than focus on cutting costs, could you increase income?
lodger? Second job?side hustle?

I'd look into the possibility of a much lower cost personal loan, First Direct tends to be good. To get the lowest rate you may have to borrow more than you need and pay it back straight away, then you'll have spread out regular payments.

However you also need to get out of the habit of using your overdraft and other debt facilities, use one credit card for day to day spending to benefit from any cashback or insurance cover they offer, and give yourself a limit you know you can pay off, say £400 a month and once it reaches that limit you pay it off regardless if it's the end of the month, and, at the end of the month pay the whole thing off. If it starts mounting up you need to go low or no spend.

You need to look at your spending habits, if topping up every few days is costing you (and nipping to the shop for bread and milk can easily turn into a tenner or more) then you need to meal plan better. Batch cooking etc or frozen veg rather than fresh, bread and a small milk in the freezer etc

No one's saying you shouldn't go on holiday, but if your debt is keeping you up, for any future little trips you need to say "No" until everything else is paid off and you aren't having sleepless nights.