To ask for help with paying off debt?

That’s brilliant OP.

That’s all really great, OP, but please take the advice about proper budgeting so you are never in this situation again.

OP, do you understand why people are telling you not to leave the civil service pension?

Say you pay £200 a month towards your pension. Your employer will match this, and put another £200 in to your pot.

This £400 is given to a pensions company, who will invest it for you over years, tax free as it is a pension. Say they invest it and get a 5% return, then in the first year this is now worth £420
then your £420 earns another 5% the next year, so that's £21 now, so now you have £441. It carries on like this until you retire and cash it in for a monthly income. So your £200 becomes £1000+ over 25 years, along with all the other £200s every month. This will give you money to live on aged 65, so you don't have to work anymore. It is literally free money invested for you so you can stop work one day.

You could easily spend the £200 you have 'saved' on fripperies, takeaway coffee, extra top up shop, going out for drinks. You will have nothing to show for it but feeling a little bit richer, and when you hit 65 you will have the state pension (169.50 a week currently, so less then £800 a month) to live off, and nothing else.

email today and get back onto your pension!!!

I agree about a personal loan to pay off the expensive debt and give you a fixed sum to pay every month at a lower rate, also over pay if possible. I would really consider cutting right back on spending. Look at where everything is going, a ban on buying new clothes and accessories, no takeout coffees or food, cheaper basic meals, switch to budget supermarket. Only go out once a month if that. That kind of thing! To get rid of the debt you just have to get on with it I'm afraid if it's causing you so much stress. After it's gone you need to promise yourself you won't use it for anything other than an emergency. Ideally this will allow you to build your savings up and that can cover emergencies.

Congrats on your new flat :)

It's always expensive first moving in somewhere but it eases with time.

Contact Citizens Advice to see if you can get the interest on your credit card frozen. Then pay off what you can each month. Restart your pension. You will eventually be free of debt.

I ran up £25000 worth of credit card debt - that was irresponsible and worrying. Your debt is manageable - you will clear it. My top tips are;

• Don’t sacrifice your pension - that will cause you problems down the line
• If you haven’t already, cut the card up. If you think to yourself that you might need it again for a genuine emergency, freeze it on your app and hide it somewhere.
• You were probably refused credit because your mortgage has just gone through. Get yourself signed up to the free Experian service. As soon as that tells you that you are eligible for a 0% card, transfer the debt.
• Try and overpay the card - even just £1 a month will make a difference. Some months, I just paid whatever the pence on the interest was. So for example, if the interest was £237.82, I would pay an extra 82p over the minimum. It helps psychologically.
• Start saving. Even if it is £5 a month, start saving. Some people will tell you to clear the card first, but you need to break the cycle of needing the card. If you can, try and get a regular saver savings account. That will pay you the best interest rate and stop you squandering the money because you can’t access it for 12 months. Some of these you can open with a £25 a month minimum payment. If you can afford it, please open one of these.
• There are loads of fantastic debt clearance accounts on Instagram with top tips. I recommend Claire Seal as a starting point.
• Vinted or similar sites for clearing anything unnecessary you have in the house. Pop the money you make, on the card. Similarly, just stop buying new things. If you need something, get it second hand and put the money you would have spent towards paying off your card.
• Finally, get as much free money as you can. Top Cashback, Airtime Rewards - they all help you build a little pot that you can then use to overpay your credit card again.

Debt is lonely and scary. We are taught to be ashamed of it but facing into it is the best thing to do. You will manage to clear this, so keep going.

You may not need phone and Internet. How much included GB do you have with the mobile contract, perhaps that can be enough for what you need?
Try to use Olio app for food ? Make sure you're buying very low cost food such as bags of lentils, tins of beans etc and make bulk stews and freeze.
If you need more furniture then look at Gumtree or other places where people give away for free rather than buying new.
Ask friends if they have stuff to give away. I've furnished flats in the past with hand me downs
Have you got the single person discount on council tax?

Do not leave your pension. Council tax, mortgage and pension are the three major "pay firsts" - most other things can be adjusted.

The £120pcm service charge and ground rent - what is it currently?

No restart the pension now.

Stopping the pension will cost you far more than a few extra months of debt.

If you are near the end of your 'phone contract, check out sim only deals.

Tbh I just accept life has to be a bit boring until the debt is cleared as once you're paying less in interest it'll give you more spare

Rejoin the pension asap as that's a really unwise move

Document every single spend as clearly you have a lot unaccounted for. Your partner should be sharing costs if going out together

Don't save anything until your debt is gone, it's totally false economy. By clearing the debt quicker you'll pay far less interest than what savings would earn you. If u needed emergency money you can just put it back on the card you've just made more space on by putting money towards earlier

Clear whatever has the highest interest rates first whether that be the overdraft or the card

Why would you cancel your pension contributions?! You're throwing away free money (your employers contributions) that will be a lifeline in later life!

Is your boyfriend pressuring you to do 'interesting' things like expensive meals, dates, activities, get takeaways and things like that?

Sometimes, if somebody is fine for money themselves (such as if they still live with their Mum for £30 a week), they'll be more demanding or expect more from somebody they think has loads of money, either because it's more than they have or because they're fine and can't imagine somebody else struggling.

He might be simply oblivious to it costing hundreds a month - or he knows and doesn't care because he wants the lifestyle. Only you will know the truth on which it is.

So you do free or cheap stuff much of the time and make meals out and other expensive stuff occasional treats.

Museums, parks, country walks, bike rides, picnics, cooking at home together, movie night at home, board games, DIY together, inviting friends over for a pot luck supper, quiz or games nights with friends at home. All low spend activities.

Then limit expensive treats, meal out once a month, another paid date once a month. They feel more special this way, and you get to see how genuinely compatible you are. If your boyfriend won't work with you on this then perhaps he isn't the one.

@IcyPlumCrab what kind of things do you currently do on dates? What’s your idea of fun?

Maybe you and your dp could make a list of ideas? things that keep the fun but are cheaper/free?

It’s clear you’re spending it on things that aren’t essentials eg holidays or going out. You mentioned discounted cinema tickets. Not going for the cinema is free!! And cheaper than discounted tickets.

i think from the outside it’s easy to pick holes in your posts (sorry!) and see where you are going wrong

I signed up for Clearscore, they have a really good app that shows where you could improve to qualify for those 0% balance transfer cards.

I would say the first step is making sure you're not going further into debt, it sounds like you have that covered. If you could then get a 0% card over 24 months say it would cost £100 a month to pay off the debt and that would be easier for you.

Do you have space to rent a room out? You can often find people working away who want digs Monday to Friday will pay decent money but you hardly see them. A few months of doing that would pay off the debt and start your savings.

Your debt is manageable. Don't beat yourself up. (I ended up in around £20,000 of debt). Your mortgage and outgoings are pretty low and it sounds like it's all the 'little bits' that you are spending.
Definitely check out moneysavingexpert.
What about having a couple of 'no spend days' a week. Give yourself a weekly budget and use cash. Write down everything you spend and if it means you forego your cup of coffee out for a while, then you'll have to make the sacrifice.
You could be out of debt in a few months if you make a few small changes now.

Go monthly to your local pound shop to bulk buy cleaning supplies loo roll etc

The fact that you're single is the red herring in your situation - it's that you've chosen to live alone and you just don't have the income to comfortably afford the reality of what living alone means in this day and age.

Do not leave the civil service pension scheme to pay a £2k credit card debt. That is one of the worse financial decisions you will ever make.

someone mentioned council tax over 12 months rather than 10 - could that mean if you haven't arranged that already, you have two months coming up with no council tax.
your mobile is expensive - how much longer is on the contract? Cancel as soon as it finishes and get a sim only deal - typically around £6 for unlimited calls and texts (ID, gifgaff, Lebara)
if you ever need to replace the handset. a motorola smartphone is around £70.

Given she's in the civil service, promotion? Might take a while depending on the department but there is usually some movement.