No present AIBU

The year I met my husband he still managed to get me a small gift and we hadn't met until the 13th December. We weren't even official at Christmas.

His excuse is not good enough and if I were you I would have to tell me him how it's made you feel.

Clicking even.

Possibly. His reaction when she has the conversation with him should be enough to give her clues whether that will be the case or not.

If it were me, I'd return his presents and end the relationship - but I gave up giving men more than one chance about a decade ago (and can confirm my life is much happier for it! 😂).

He's started taking you for granted already. It might mean he's comfortable with you, and you get along well. But...

First post nails it.
If he can’t be arsed clucking Amazon for 5 minutes…….
Dump.

Most Boots stores sell perfume. Takes 5 minutes.
Back in the day when we actually had to go into stores to buy gifts, now you can do it with the click of a button.
As for men who don’t have a clue, most of them
have female relatives/friends/colleagues.
I used to work in JL as a student back in the day, always spent Christmas flogging perfume. Men would literally walk in all Christmas Eve, with cash and no clue, and all you’d have to do is ask a few questions and leave it to the staff.
Now the person might not get exactly what they wanted, but a lovely bottle of Chanel No 5 goes down well most of the time.
If this is what he’s like now, I wouldn’t bother. I wouldn’t hand over anything either.
No regard for your feelings and absolutely selfish.

Return everything , spend the money on yourself and give him a voucher to get his nails done

He hasn’t even bought the nail voucher, he’s offered it. I bet he doesn’t buy it.

Op if he bought others boots gifts sets but recognised this wasn't good enough for you as his partner and offered you a voucher for your nails which he knows you like, then i think this gives a positive message rather then a negative one. That said i am on your side with this this, he wil have all these gifts to open and you won't.. which isn't nice and what's the expensive gift you got him? Does this match the nails ? I would hang back on the other gifts and just give him one thing and see how things go. This alone isn't a give away to his true self , yes some ppl (not just men) are oblivious about this stuff but I think you need to see how this plays out before you decide. Especially if he ends up surprising you...

💯💯💯

I think it would just set a precedent where he thinks he can half arse his girlfriend’s presents every year.

Yes that’s a good message.

If you genuinely like him and want to keep the relationship going then I would say something like -
"Right.... we've learned you are crap at gifts. Get your shoes on we are going to [shop you like] right now and you are getting me a gift. I will tell you what I would like and you pay for it".

Yes you will be one lf these women posting here saying DH forgot their birthday, didn’t even get a card etc because if he is busy now how busy will he be once you are married w kids and he has to make even less effort (and right now he made nearly no effort)

I would still give them, as gift-giving is as important to me as receiving. He missed the mark, but I can still have my pleasure in giving the gift.

Not a present person means “I can’t be arsed using my time to think of others”

From someone who's DH doesn't understand the importance of gift or card giving, you need to tell him direct how you feel about it. Some men (and women) just don't get the importance. Some years my DH slips back a bit but overall he now understands the importance of it to me. TBF I'd love a boots or similar gift set.....I'm always begging for toiletries in my stocking every year!

This years issue for us was advent calendars. He never got one for me despite me talking about the ones I got the kids and that I got him one. I even sent him links to ones I liked which he commented things like which would i prefer and I'd have to wait to see what I got. Afterwards he admitted he didnt realise the importance of it to me.

Its not about the gift....its about the thought and effort put into something. If his plan was to offer you a gift voucher for nails, then he should go get one....or at least make a temporary IOU voucher (I love that sort of thing lol)

Accept it now, accept it forever.

This is quite a good idea actually.

If you don’t feel ready to bin him now, I’d try this.

Something “no problems - you and I can exchange our gifts on 25 Jan, it’ll give us something to look forward to”. So it’s not a case of he’s avoided the task of thinking of someone other than himself, and the task doesn’t go away if he leaves it. If he doesn’t step up then, bin him.

Dont give him your gifts until it’s an exchange.

It sounds like he's just not a present arranging person, a lot of men aren't. If he was buying amazing presents or putting a lot of time/money into everyone else and not you, or one specific person, it would be different.

If gift giving is your love language he needs to understand that it's important to you even if he doesn't find it important himself. Tell him you love unwrapping a gift.

It's written, I was emphasising. I'm sorry if you use a screen reader.

Would you still give him all presents?

Or just one of the smaller ones?

He managed to give you a list of gifts that he wanted.

It’s glaringly obvious from your posts that you’re desperate to come up with excuses for his laziness, thoughtlessness and selfishness.

Ypu should be taking note of the big red flags waving in your face and be extremely grateful that you’ve only wasted a few months on him. Sadly I don’t think you will.

Well, he DID have time to get you something special. It just wasn't a priority for him!