No present AIBU

Weaponized incompetence. Bet he is thrilled he did so badly he never has to do it again.

Mine's like this - he just doesn't like shopping. He used to get his admin to do it. Then he did try 2 years running but the clothes he bought me were horrendous and I think the fact i never wore them or the shoes pissed him off.

Now he asks and I just say give me your card, I go online and order what I want.

Some men just don't do it and don't think about it either, I doubt you have anything to worry about

And you can get both of those in one order from TK MaXx

A few months in us best behaviour time
So.... this is his best behaviour.
Don't expect him to change
If you want more then you need to move on
If you stay it'll be the same next year
Only you can decide if that matters

It just isn't good enough @Bleedingheartbleedingnose. He asked you for something expensive and then didn't bother to get you anything! He could still fix it but he's not even bothered enough to try! And he's told you, as if it's no big deal and you should be fine with it.

Who pays when you go out?

Not all men are shit at buying presents. Some may need a prod in the right direction.

But shit men are just that...and probably do wander around Boots with a basket full of meaningless crap.

I think telling you, two days beforehand, that he hasn't gotten you anything is almost the worst part. He still has time to get you gifts, but it's like he has already decided that he won't bother!

I think the main problem is that he's saying he hasn't had time to get you a scarf and a chopping board. Bit there's still tomorrow and the rest of today. He's actually decided that he isn't going to bother.

I think you need to tell him there's still time to go shopping, and that you expect him to try and get you something to open on Christmas day.

Tell him you'll keep hold of his presents until he's finished buying yours, then you can open your presents together later in the week. Don’t give him his presents if he's got nothing for you.

Get a refund on what you’ve bought him. It’s setting you up to accept this and not have gifts for the rest of the relationship.

Paving the way for the future ie couldn’t give a toss. Your first Christmas together shouldn’t be a voucher for a nail bar. All downhill from here I’m afraid x

You are just at the beginning of your relationship when most couples are trying their best . Possibly he will be discomforted by your over generous gifts or he will just accept them without thought.

I think you have three option. Accept the nail gift and give him time to see if he redeems himself. Observe how he treats his family, Not just in the type of gift he gives them, but particularly observe how kind and respectful he is towards them.

Accept the gift and make up your mind to leave the relationship. Such a wide gap in your expectations of each other this early is a red flag. There is no pleasure in receiving a gift where you have to spell out the process . That leads to a lifetime of disappointment and frustration.

Option 3 , cut your losses and break up with him now.

Nobody sat me down as a women a taught me how to buy gifts.. that's a crappy excuse.

My DH was shit as his parents were equally thoughtless, he's learnt over the years how important it is to me to "think" and not even the value of the gift.

Buying me diamond earring when I don't wear earrings is still thoughtless.

This ^^

Do not give him expensive presents when he's been "too busy" to bother with you.

I wouldn't be spending Christmas with him either.

Have you seen the boots christmas section? The idea is you can do EVERYONE'S shopping there. It's amazing.

Busy at / with work - there are 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week.
Everyone has known for months when Christmas is, it falls on the same date every year.

Late night shopping and online shopping...

He's not a partner- he's a boyfriend. You've made the relationship way more than it should be at this stage. You hardly know him. Don't move in with him as this won't get better just worse.

He can still get you a scarf and a chopping board even with only two days to go. I’d mention it and tell him you would still
appreciate that.

If he makes excuses I would seriously get a refund on the presents you have got him.

I hear you but I'm hoping he gets it together on the day... let's see 🤦‍♀️

😁- so true! It is only the gift giving that he has a challenge with, not the receiving.

How ironic

He's happy enough to ask for big presents though. And happy enough to buy presents for friends and presumably for family too. So as far as we can tell, OP is the only one who's being fobbed off. That speaks volumes about where she is on his list of priorities. You don't expect big expensive presents from others and then avoid reciprocating, unless you're a CF or extremely self-centred.

I would say, like others before me, that a lack of thought when it comes to a Christmas gift, or birthday gift, or gift of any kind, tends to reflect a lack of thought full stop.

I spent years with my exH and my gifts were spectacularly poor. Usually cheap, rarely wrapped and often a last-minute purchase with little to no care. How did he treat me? Pretty much the same - no time or consideration for my feelings or what I may want or need from the relationship, and eventually, I could see it. I've been married to my DH now for close to 20 years and his attitude to gifts reflects his attitude to me which involve an investment in time, thought, care and consideration.

We make time for the things we want to. I'm sure he's had time in the past month or so to watch a movie, cook a meal, order a takeaway, play a game, meet up with a friend, have a meal out, enjoy a drink or just spend an evening scrolling...? That time could have been spent online, looking at ideas for you to make you smile at Christmas. Unless this is a way to surprise you on Christmas Day, if he hasn't put that effort in, that's because he's chosen not to. It's up to you whether you chose to accept it, and the fact that you're on here asking the question means you already know the answer.

You're worth more.

Don't say oh its fine then quietly seethe. Let him know exactly how you feel, that youve made an effort and you expect the same care from him. He has 2 days to sort his shit out. I mean, he has a list, how card can it be to nip into the shops? Lazy and selfish