No present AIBU

It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Please don't tale a lot of these comments to heart. A lot of MNs have idyllic perfect lives, and go forbid your life doesn't live up to these ideals. Honestly he might surprise you, let us know how you get on.

This is just one of those things that some men do, it's really not a big deal to some of them.

This is a good idea, OP.

If you explain to him how this could be embarrassing for you then he has time to have a think about it and then not rush buying.

Having your own little New Years meal and gifts gives him time to put this right in a way that won't feel throwaway and forced.

If he produces a Boots gift set in Jan, tho...........

In what ways is he thoughtful and selfless OP?

I'd be telling him if he doesn't come up with the gifts, which shall not be a voucher or gift set, and which is easily done as Amazon deliver tomorrow and the shops are open, then he won't be getting his gifts either as it's embarrassing for you to spoil him in front of his family and receive nothing in return.

He clearly hasn't thought about how this will look to his family, or you, for that matter.

He needs a head wobble, and fast.

He's showing you he doesn't really care that much.
First Christmas should be one where you don't have to question whether he cares or loves you enough to out in a little bit of effort.

Fwiw, like most adults I suspect, I've been really busy with work and home stuff - still managed to buy gifts for the entire family and friends, order Christmas food, make after Christmas bookings and arrangements (we're going away), organise visiting people to drop off/collect gifts, organise family visiting/staying here, etc.

Ordering online takes a matter of minutes.
There's no excuse unless he has been laid up, properly ill, with no chance to even use an iPad.

Plenty of people have separate finances. We do.
No mortgage or kids. Met in our 40s we have no need to join finances. He pays me his share of the bills and our money is our own.

I agree. I suspect, come Jan when the OP starts talking about her next nail appointment he will stall about ponying up the money, and then try to.make the OP feel grabby, orvridiculous because Christmas was ages ago.

I'd still go to his parents for Christmas, and it's not automatically LTB territory as far as I'm concerned. But you do need to make it absolutely clear to him that this isn't acceptable and that he's put you at the bottom of his priorities and you're not going to stick around for that. Then see how he responds or what he does.

Have you spoken to him? You need to give him a heads up so he knows he needs to get you something today or tomorrow.

No, we have joint account for bills and keep the rest of our own money

You would say LTB because you know. Don’t be fooled by the lovebombing, it’s always followed by devaluation.

This is what this is. To make no effort at Christmas for your new partner is no mistake.

Top comment correct. He is testing you, they usually wait to pull this 💩

Unless you like feeling this, leave. Not gonna get better, promise

Can you give us some examples of his efforts on other areas when it relates to your relationship with him?

Don't go with him. Bin him off and have christmas by yourself. He's a selfish unthoughtful arse

That’s a pathetic offer. He knows anyone choosing their own gift will likely choose some thing small because they will feel self-conscious in a newish relationship.

Why not postpone your gift exchange to Jan?

Hope you’ve also stopped buying for him.

I don’t get the point about taking his card, isn’t all money joint money?

but simply have never been taught the logistics of gift giving

How strange, I don't remember the gift giving classes at school either. But I manage. Must be because I'm a girl

He didn't care enough to spend ten minutes on Amazon finding and ordering something for you. Even though he managed to buy a series of gift boxes from Boots for his family.

I prefer it this way tbh, I can just go and buy myself what I want instead of some crap I will never use. He is not incompetent, he has bought me some nice bits over the years, but I prefer to pick my own.

Does your man goes to the shops to get his friends gifts though? See, the OP's cheapskate is capable when he wants to.

It's not that he's bad at giving gifts, It's more that he has not made it a priority to get you ANYTHING. He showed more consideration to friends by taking his time to get them presents and this is your first christmas together! This is supposed to be where he goes overboard in his want to please you and yet...nothing. You're an afterthought. I wouldn't want to continue the road with someone who doesn't think that I'm important enough to get a thoughtful gift...or any gift! How embarrassing for him when you open gifts with his family at christmas. Why don't you try to get a refund on his expensive gift and give him the other ones. It will be embarrassing enough and that avoids you to spend a fortune on his stingy ass.

There’s no excuse. It’s not like he doesn’t know when Christmas is! And shops open into the evening now, or there’s internet shopping etc.