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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel completely used by close friend?

61 replies

fudgetoff · 22/12/2024 23:48

One of my best friends has just completely cut me off since she began a new relationship just under a year ago and now has decided to get back in touch as her partner cheated on her.

She didn't have many friends, she wasn't close with family and I treated her as one of the family.

We helped each other out.

We would see each other at least 3/4 times a week.

She started to act abit strange/ distant towards the end of last year.
When we would meet she would always look at her phone and have to rush back, when before we would spend hours just having a laugh.

Out of the blue in January this year she updated her status to "in a relationship" and posted pics up of her and her new fella.

It was strange as she hadn't even mentioned she was seeing someone to me or our mutual friend and she usually told me everything.

Around February time she blocked us on Facebook, and stopped all contact.

Now her relationship has fallen apart as her partner cheated on her she has text me asking to see me on Christmas Day!

At first I thought maybe she may of been in an abusive relationship and forced to cut contact but this wasn't the case.

She is saying she will be alone on Christmas Day.

Her family don't have anything to do with her and in all the years I have known her has never spent Christmas with them which I find very strange.

AIBU to just tell her it's not my problem as I feel she used me when she had no one.

OP posts:
Baileysfeverdream · 23/12/2024 00:08

I would tell her that you were hurt when she blocked you and ask her why she did it. Depending on her answer you can meet up with her after Christmas, or decide not to bother to take up the friendship again.

You don't owe her Christmas.

Ladyoatcookies · 23/12/2024 00:03

Definitely not.

I wouldn’t reply instantly to say anything at all though.

Maybe contact her after Christmas Day if you want to hear her out ,but it doesn’t sound like she’s even acknowledging how poorly she treated you.

BedBathAndBeyonce · 23/12/2024 00:02

She has clearly shown you who she is and how she is prepared to treat you. Why would you go back for more?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 23/12/2024 00:02

How sure are you that it wasn't an abusive relationship?

Mulledjuice · 23/12/2024 00:01

Have you asked her why she blocked you for the best part of a year?

Choccyaddict4eva · 23/12/2024 00:00

No, don’t allow her back. Tell her that real friends don’t suddenly block, or cut off their friends when they get in a relationship, and that she can now continue to lie in the bed she has already made for herself.

BMW6 · 22/12/2024 23:59

Well I certainly wouldn't see her on Christmas Day - depending on what she has said re why she cut you off I might meet for a coffee in the new year.

Wanting to see you on Xmas day smacks of using you because she's got no-one else.

TheGirlattheBack · 22/12/2024 23:57

Asking to see you on Christmas Day sounds like she doesn’t want to be alone for Christmas rather than rekindling your friendship. I wouldn’t reply if I were you.

fudgetoff · 22/12/2024 23:53

Yes she was a very good friend, she was always there for me when I needed her.

In hindsight I think it was because she had nobody else.

OP posts:
rockstuckhardplace · 22/12/2024 23:52

Depends how strong your friendship was before. I'd find cutting all contact hard to forgive.

HouseMoveHopeful · 22/12/2024 23:51

Prior to this relationship was she a good friend or was she a fair weather friend?

I’d find it very hard to welcome her back into my life after being dropped like that.