To feel completely used by close friend?

She's a shitty friend. You don't owe her anything. I'd reply after Christmas telling her how hurt you are and you've no room for her in your life. X

I would not agree to seeing her on Christmas day I would be asking her why she outright blocked you though for a long time
She doesn't seem to value your friendship to have cut you off in the first place

Tell her that it’s a pity she’s on her own, but you have decided to focus on your relationship.

Made her do it that was meant to say

When a woman does something wrong it is a man's fault?

So a woman would never choose those this on her own a man made who do it?

She puts men first and drops everyone else. It sounds like she has form as she’s cut everyone else out over the years.

You don’t owe her Christmas (even if she was in controlling relationships). I’d say no to Christmas Day, I’d meet for a walk/coffee over the festive period and ask her why she blocked you. You have feelings too, it’s not nice being used, picked up and discarded.

Agree with the others it might be worth doing some probing if it was an abusive relationship as sometimes those just out of it don’t recognise it as one yet but do understand your feelings too and it’s important you discuss it with her

People have different reasons for doing things like this. If you were genuinely her friend then I would say yes to seeing her. If you were good friends you will be able to ask her what happened.

I had a best friend just like this until recently, I also thought she was in an abusive relationship and told her gently, but she told me she loves being mentally abused 🤷🤣 (after meeting in the pub, a week and a half later he offered to pay for her divorce! 😳 Six weeks later, he wants her to wear a ring on her ring finger so people know she's attached)

she knew when he was being vile, and would send him so many messages telling him how unreasonable he was, (he was),but for the last few months all she would talk about is him, constantly texting or updating her Facebook with weird quotes. We're both 35!

It was a constant drama over such small unperceived slights, I had a close family bereavement she never asked about, lied about working so id watch her children, took multiple drugs during this time then bragged about it🤣
Now our friendships ended I'm so much more present with my family, way happier and so much less stress.
Very weird all round. But I honestly don't know what I'd say if she asked to spend Xmas together..how can you say no without looking horrible and spending the day wondering where she'll be?

Wow...sorry about that essay, maybe I needed to get it off my chest 🤣🤣😳😳

”I don’t spend my valuable Christmas days with people who cut me out of their lives and block me on social media. Perhaps one of your other former friends will provide the substitution you search for.
Good day.”

I'd want to know why she blocked me. And if it wasn't a really good reason then she would be gone from my life. Dropping contact a bit because you're infatuated with your new man is one thing, but blocking you is like a slap in the face.

Exactly. She can’t just slip back as if nothings happened and expect OP to listen to her relationship woes without addressing the fact she cut her off.

Either way I feel it’s entitled for someone to try and force themselves upon an estranged friend on Christmas Day.

She would look a bit more genuine and less self-centred, if she’d waited until after Christmas, and popped around with a gift and apology/explanation.

I’ve let people do that to me in my younger years and I regret it. The main girl I’m thinking of did it to me and most of her other friends when we were about 21 , then she reappeared a year or so later when she was pregnant and wanted friend support (she made me the godmother of her first kid) only to ghost me again at 29ish. I will never ever let her back in my life again.

I suspect she blocked her family too, and you were just the latest in a long line.

"I'll think about it. Why did you block me?"

Well then she needs to explain that and apologise for her behaviour, not insert herself into the OP's Christmas Day like nothing ever happened!!

Yeah I think this is like my. She was pushed to cut contact

I was going to say this too - she may have been forced somewhat to cancel all contact with friends and family

Of course you're perfectly in the right to tell her to jog on.

It sounds like she's a user and I'd think twice about making any time for her, never mind on Christmas Day.

That said:
"At first I thought maybe she may of been in an abusive relationship and forced to cut contact but this wasn't the case"

I must ask how you know this, OP?

I definitely wouldn't be seeing her on Christmas Day after that!

If you do decide to cautiously re-establish contact, then it's on your terms, not hers.

I'd be wary that she would do the same again when she gets into another relationship. It was cruel and nasty to cut you off completely like that, and hard to forgive.

I certainly wouldn't be replying this side of Christmas.
Do you need people in your life who drop you the first chance they get?
I would think long and hard before I would reply.

At first I thought maybe she may of been in an abusive relationship and forced to cut contact but this wasn't the case.

Just out of interest, how do you know this to be true?

And Op, if you do reply before Christmas Day try something like “It’s been a while, tbh i was surprised to hear from you after you blocked us earlier this year . I won’t be available to meet on Christmas Day but maybe in the new year we can have arrange to have a chat and discuss what happened between us, as I was quite hurt and shocked when you cut us all off with no explanation.”

Whatever you do though don’t let her slide back into your life pretending as if nothings happened between you and her, and letting her go on about how badly treated she was by her ex without her acknowledging how she treated her own friends!

She will probably spend Xmas with you then get back with her ex in the new year and block you again.

No thanks, no one needs friends like that.

If you ignore the message is she likely to rock up at your house on Christmas Day?