To feel completely used by close friend?

Did you respond OP? Or did she contact you again?

Hope you had a lovely Xmas

My answer would be no sorry I'm done.

If you don’t respond before Christmas, is there any chance she will just turn up anyway?

@fiorentina the OP has addressed this in her posts. You can see just her responses and updates by using See All just above and right of the bookmark tab.

It’s crap behaviour but could her relationship have been abusive and he prevented her keeping in touch with friends. I’d maybe ask for a chat but be clear how you’ve felt let down by her.

I have read your update OP and I agree with you. If this is what she does when she meets someone, then it's pound to a penny she will do it again to you in the future.

In theory, if I enjoyed her company I might be willing to re-establish the friendship, but on a much looser basis than before. But would I in reality? I don't know.

Do what feels appropriate for you.

Sadly some people are like that. It always backfires on them eventually. Friendships are so important, and need to be cherished and maintained. I would reply by saying that you no longer consider her a friend after her blocking you and dropping you like a hot brick. Does the mutual friend intend seeing her?

I had a friend like this in my younger days. We were as thick as thieves in our early 20s for a few years. She was from Australia and I met her whilst she was living and working here. I went over to see her when she had returned home and we had a blast. We talked about me getting a working holiday permit so I could stay longer, which back then, I had to apply for from the UK. I had some other bits to do so returned back home and got the permit and 2 months later returned to Oz.
She had made some ‘new friends’ and dropped me like a hot potato. Completely shunned me and avoided me. Now I have always been a confident and outgoing person so I carried on with my working holiday and enjoyed my year abroad and made lots of new friends, but I never forgot the rejection. If the tables had been turned I would have introduced her to my new friends and encouraged her to enjoy the working holiday and her adventure and enjoyed meeting her new friends as well.
Looking back, I realised when she was in the UK she never referred to any female friends from previously in her life (school, childhood, uni etc) apart from ex boyfriends. I didn’t twig at the time how strange that was. But when I met up with her again 10 years later with my husband, she had met her husband to be and arranged to come out with us (as a four). We were travelling so our attire was basic and we met at a pub. They brought a couple of male friends with them, because they were going clubbing afterwards. After that, I never made any contact with her or responded to any messages/posts on Facebook. We are now in our 50s and I get tagged into reminiscing posts and photos with other people we hung out with here in the UK but I never respond.
Some people are just fairly shallow about friendships and you find out the hard way that you aren’t as important to them as they are to you.
Take your self respect and just ignore or politely decline. Don’t bother getting involved again because believe me, it will happen again, and you will get dumped/blocked/let down next time a man comes on the scene.

Why do women accept crap behaviour from friends. Do men do this? All kind of more and more impossible excuses. Bending over backwards to invent new reasons why people treat them like crap. Just read a lot of these pps. People like the OPs friend do it because they are flakey and because they can and most ditched friends will come back for a second helping. I have a friend like this from high school and was taken in a couple of times. Now I´m 50 and wiser I match my energy to hers. When she met her later on dh we ceased to exist. Now it´s all ohhh heard you´re coming back let´s meet. Yeah, that would be nice, and never hear from her and don´t expect to. Yawn, yawn.
OP, do not meet for Xmas, she is no longer family. Maybe will contact in the new year at some time, and leave the ball in her court. With a bit of luck shéll meet some bloke and forget about you.

I guess she truly needs you right now. If you have the friendship to give, she probably would really appreciate it and hopefully you two can talk things over and resume having a laugh together. If it were me I’d be assuming she had been in a very strange place to unfriend me on FB. Mental health issues of some kind?

she hasn’t behaved in a balanced way toward you, her behaviour has been unusual to say the least, so it seems she doesn’t quite know what is ok and what isn’t ok. You have to decide how much friendship you can offer!

I wouldn’t even respond. Rude as fuck

I think I will reply after Christmas and just let her know how upset I was at being cut off out the blue and it's probably best that we just keep it how it how it has been and wish her the best in life.

Good decision.

I think I will reply after Christmas and just let her know how upset I was at being cut off out the blue and it's probably best that we just keep it how it how it has been and wish her the best in life.

This is a smart decision, OP. I had a friend like this I let go of a few years ago. She would always ditch her friends every time she was in a relationship, unless the guy was away for the weekend with his friends or something then she might remember us.

It’s not always necessarily about the men stopping the women from having friends.

Some women just get so unhealthily immersed in the relationship and see little value in their friends/ family once they have ‘their person’. That is just who some women (and men) are.

Maybe she will learn her lesson this time and treat her new friends better next time she finds someone.

Definitely agree. I would be unavailable.

"No, you can't come over at Christmas, I'm afraid. We already have family plans that can't be changed. See you in the new year maybe xx."

I would message telling her that you were very hurt to be blocked and can’t forgive her just like that. Tell her that obviously it’s way too late to change your Christmas Day plans, but that you’re free on 7 January if she wants to give you an explanation.

Pound to a penny you’ll never hear from her again.

Good call OP.
She is not your friend.

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"

I would block her without a response but if I was still hurt I would tell her to fuck off.

I’ve had it with people thinking they can walk in and out of peoples lives and I don’t let them back.

I agree.
this is extreme behaviour and she was a good enough friend for you to put the time into explaining how destructive and upsetting her behaviour was to you, and give her a chance to explain what happened.

This is my thinking too

Given your update - tell her to go fuck herself.

according to op's last update, it's very much on brand for this friend. She's lost contact with her other friends as well as own family due to similar behaviour.

I would want to see her and talk to her about the last year. It all sounds very out of character and it screams of her being in a controlling, abusive relationship. However, I'd say no to Xmas day and reply alon the lines of -- sorry I've got plans for Xmas but would love to see you in the New Year.

She’s got a cheek, and especially to want to see you on Xmas day. I’d reply to say sorry you’re busy and you’ll get in touch in the new year, and leave it. See if she says anything then.

No , don’t see her . It will never be the same between you anyway and there is a possibility she will do it again. You will never have that beautiful friendship that you once had . The trust is gone .