New baby in-laws won't visit as we chose to move away

In this case, I would then offer to meet for lunch and a walk at a halfway point. If they still refuse even that, then I’d say “fine, we’ll visit when it’s not a major hassle with a small baby.” They’re being big babies and throwing their toys out of the pram.

Personally I couldn't give a fuck if inlaws saw my children. I wish I didn't have to bother with all that crap.
It's easier for you to stay home with a 12wk old baby so do what you want. They're being selfish when they don't have children to travel with. With their logic no one would see family as everyone chooses to move.

If that’s their attitude and they’re the words they chose, then quite frankly OP, they’re dicks. Dicks who are cutting their nose off to spite their face. You and baby won’t suffer not seeing them, but they’ll miss out on knowing their GC and watching them grow.

Leave them to wallow in their pit and put all your energy into your new little family-you don’t need shit like that when you’re a new mum. What a pair of absolute bell ends. They’re the same age as me, if my DS and his GF moved away and had a baby, I’d be there as much as I could feasibly manage

Fuck them. I wouldn't take a 12 week old baby in a 4 hour drive. Realistically, you'll have to stop every hour or so. It will probably take nearer 6 hours. If they don't want to come then that's on them.

Fuck them.

Seriously.

Fuck them. Don't ask them to visit; don't offer to visit; stop engaging in the conversation.

How dare they think it's acceptable to actually try to punish grown ups for moving. How fucking dare they. The job market is widely shit, the cost of living is shit, and people have to move to survive these days.

You moved to give yourselves, your family, your baby a better future ... your DH's job. If your inlaws can't accept that, then fuck them.

They obviously don't care about meeting their new grandchild. How very hurtful for your partner. I wouldn't be making the journey to see them, that's for sure.

Visiting your newborn grandchild is hardly suffering.

No I'm not but the situation is a result of the OP's actions, not the grandparents so why should they suffer even more for it.

Can you be my mil too? You sound a dream. Your dil hit the jackpot 😍

We have a similar attitude from my in-laws. No mobility issues whatsoever and they’re perfectly happy to drop by when it’s convenient for them (we live close to an airport) but otherwise attitude is “when are you coming down”. No consideration for the fact we have young children and work FT whereas they are retired and in good health. Irritates the hell out of me.

Absolutely ridiculous. Should everyone just live next door to their parents so that the parents don’t need to put any effort in to the relationship with not only their children and grandchildren?

My husband moved 10,000 miles away from his family and they still make the effort and show up. Life happens and if you’ve done a good job as a parent you should hope for your kids to develop independence and self reliance to the point that they can move away from you.

Ok..that puts a different spin on things. I was going to say just go and visit them, it won't kill you to be kind and accommodating to older people who might not be around all that longer. My dad only visited me once after my first baby, I had to do all the travelling after that as she got older and with all the others, newborns, toddlers, 4.5 hours of hell. But he just wasnt mentally or physically able for the trip. But these people are the same age or younger than me! So I think you should do whatever you would like. If you want to keep a relationship going, go visit at a time that suits you. Stay with them or stay in a hotel. Suit yourself. As they have done. If you're not bothered, don't bother. If your baby's father wants to take baby to visit when a bit older he can always go himself if he wants.

Are you the MIL? How ridiculous.

I'll be in the minority here & side with the grandparents. They obviously didn't want you moving away, you chose to do it, although with good reason it was still your choice, so you should be the ones having to travel and put yourselves out, not them.
I have seen this happen with another family & majority of the time the ones to travel to visit, are the ones who decided to move away. I think that's fair.

They had a baby. What grandparents won’t meet a new baby for months because the op dared move a few hours away? Young people move location, that’s a common part of growing up.

So would mine, and further. 100 percent.

I think most of us would move heaven and earth to meet a new grandchild. I know I would, and I'm considerably older than your in-laws.

How sad.
My instinct would be to let them wallow in their misery - it is them that are missing out, but ultimately this is your dh's relationship with his parents - you need to hear what he thinks.

Yes. I did!

My late mum always said the Cornish were strange. 😂😂😂

Agree! Travelling 4 hours with a newborn is a bad plan. What kind of in-laws don't visit for this reason?!

lazy feckers, you don't need them in your life - leave them to rot in Cornwall

A decent grandparent would be really excited to meet their new grandchild and would go above and beyond to do so. They don't care about your child. They're unlikely to be good grandparents so don't waste your time making the effort.

How selfish of them. Their loss. Enjoy your baby.

Absolutely their loss. Its incredibly difficult the travel all that way with a baby.
They clearly don't want to meet their grandchild. Nice.

My parents insisted that we drive a 6-hour return trip with a 3-week old baby to farewell them as they flew off on a world trip. Someone had to pick up and look after their dog, you see. It took the baby days to recover from the travel and stress. Mine, that is. No way...as someone else said, your job is to protect and nurture that baby. Everyone else's job is to support you.