New baby in-laws won't visit as we chose to move away

Wouldn’t worry about it. Their loss, they don’t get to see their grandchild.

Their loss but sadly your DD will miss out. You do you and leave them to do them! Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐

This is awful OP. Tell them to get lost and just enjoy your lovely little Christmas

Yes, my DH said this. He had a lot of Cornish connections at on time and saw this quite often. The Tamar Bridge was the limit....bonkers!

My FIL drove a 8 hour round trip at the age of 67 and not great health to meet his new GD a few days after she was born. Thy sound odd. It’s up to your son to facilitate. Put down the rope and disengage.

I think Cornwall is key here. Many Cornish people want the drawbridge pulled up at the Devon border. Moving away is disloyal. No doubt they wanted a handy extended family. Now they don’t but travelling away from Cornwall is a no because DD is disloyal: people are just stupid!

You've alienated a couple of controlling people here... well done!

You moved away from their area - and so from their area of control... you're inviting them to your mileu, but they won't be in control there so won't come... and now you are the parents, not them - total loss of control for them! This would only have got worse as they saw you growing into your adulthood and parenthood... You will enjoy it far more if you can emotionally detach.

And you have done nothing wrong to be 'punished' for! This is a dysfunctional thing from them.

Congratulations on your new little one! Enjoy your first Christmas together!

It's their loss. Stay home only worry about yourselves this Christmas. I bet you're knackered and doing Christmas and all the stress that brings isn't worth it.

Wish my ghastly mother in law understood this.

Not really sure that’s in the best interest of the baby. I certainly wouldn’t be shoving a 12 week old into a car seat to do a 4 hour round trip.

I have the similar issue. Due to work and love I moved across the world. My parents (now deceased) never met their grandchildren. Their choice.

This. Two can play at that game - focus on you and your child and it is their loss if they choose not to visit.

Arseholes!

My ILs are similar...have only met my DC a handful of times and she's 17 months. Their loss. Even if they were closer they wouldn't be very good grandparents anyway.

They sound awful!
My 90 year old gran is coming to us for Xmas this year as I'm due a second baby in 3 weeks and family are an 8 hour drive away. She's an angel I know!

It may not be their 'fault', but it is still much easier for 2 adults in their 40s to make the journey than OP with a small baby.

It does reveal that her PILs are not really bothered about meeting their new grandchild so that will damage the relationship.

When I had my DC, I lived in London and my parents lived in Plymouth. They were in their early 50s (younger than I am now, sob!) and although my dad was away, my mum came up on the train within a few weeks of DD1's birth. The first time I went there she was almost 4 months.

If your in laws were bothered, they would make the effort. In my experience, if you want to see someone, you put yourself out to do so. Last year, my uncle died and I went to his funeral, even though it meant an overnight flight, attending the funeral, staying at an airport hotel and flying back the next morning. My aunt was thrilled that I made the effort and kept telling everyone there! My cousin kept reminding his mum that since he lives in Australia, he'd travelled twice as far!

My in-laws travelled 12,000 miles to meet my dd and she wasn’t even their first grandchild.

If they don’t want to make an effort for their grandchild or child then they have made their own bed, leave then to lie in it!

Honestly you will probably save yourself many a MIL posts.

But wouldn't you at least make the journey to meet your DGC for the first time. And then maybe be stubborn and expect the people who moved to travel more (I don't agree with that thought but for your arguement sake). But expecting your children and newborn GDC to do a 4 hour journey is unreasonable tbh.

As other posters have said though OP - they will be the ones missing out.

I do think if you move that far then you have to expect some people won't be able to travel often or at all.

For example, do they have dogs, health issues, other children? Are they working all week? Have you offered to put them up for a few nights? Are they confident drivers and at driving on motorways?
If any of the above apply I understand why it is harder for them.

Selfish, controlling fuckers. They are punishing you for daring to do somethig different to what they wanted. Leave them to it.

For context, I moved to a different continent and have a 4 month old. My parents spent 4k and travelled for 36 hours to come meet my baby. They used their entire annual leave for the visit. They wanted to meet their grandchild and too see their daughter become a mother and NOTHING would stop them.

If the grandparents are controlling like this no wonder the young couple moved away.

Exactly, I seriously doubt this is the first time that this “our way or the highway” attitude has shown up.

Safety experts agree a baby should only be in a car seat max two hours. This means you cannot bring your baby all that way. End of discussion.

Whenever I see the term parents in law, I immediately picture people my own mother's age - mid-eighties. It came as a jolt when I realised here we are talking about people who are very nearly young enough to be my own children. 😬

The move was done so their own SON could step up, probably benefiting his family with the career move.

If there's no disability in play, OF COURSE they can get off their arses and visit.

https://www.motherandbaby.com/baby/safety/how-long-can-baby-be-in-car-seat/

One of two things is going on. Either

a) they do want to see their grandchild but they also want to control you. Once they eventually realise they can't, they'll come and visit (with many complaints), or

b) they don't really want to be grandparents - their loss, not yours

Enjoy your Christmas at home

I don't forget a few comments I saw when it was the Brexit referendum from parents who should have had more sense saying they liked the idea of limiting their children's choices about moving abroad because they literally wanted them always living 'on the doorstep' as adults. I rather hoped at some point these kids all sodded off to Canada or Australia etc - as parents you need to being your children up to have the confidence to do whatever- and then support them in those choices - not insist they are living on the next street ad infinitum

I remember what it was like travelling with a young baby. I'd go to the grandchild myself.