My DH is struggling with DC and I don't know what to do to help.
DC are 5 and 13 and DH very rarely seems to enjoy them. He is often irritable due to working shifts and I try to keep the children from bothering him too much when he has just come off of shifts as I know he is tired. Both DC are being a bit more difficult than usual, DS13 is pretty explanatory (teenager) and DD5 isn't listening as well, bit more argumentative than usual etc. I believe both are a little burnt out from school and also excited for Christmas and this hasn't helped but they aren't bad kids at all, always get comments on how polite and well behaved they are when we are out/from school/friends etc.
This weekend, DH had an evening out and stayed elsewhere so had a lie in and a good break from them but from 12pm-4pm he had DD and then needed a break as he was finding it all too difficult so I did bath, bed etc. Today he took DD to the park and when he came home I could tell it had been difficult with her. He went and saw DS and had a go about him about a hoody on his floor (his room is nearly spotless apart from the occasional mess because DH is very anti-mess). And then he took himself to bed and has been there since.
He said he doesn't know why but he is just unhappy, doesn't feel like he has smiled in days and just wishes our DC could be good just for one day. Which is all so sad because they have some lovely qualities and when one of them acts out, he struggles to let go of his annoyance and it impacts him the whole day.
All this has come about today and we are booked to see Christmas lights tomorrow as well as have his family over for Christmas so a busy few days where we would ideally be jolly but DH isn't able to hide when he is in a bad mood and I'm worried that Christmas will just end up with a black cloud over it. Last year we had a Christmas outing booked and the whole thing was horrendous because of his bad mood and we had a party earlier in the year and he absolutely ruined it again with his mood (his family actually brought it up to me how uncomfortable they found it). I'm really tempted to ask him to stay home tomorrow so there won't be an atmosphere (besides the Christmas jolliness).
I do the majority of child related things, bed times etc, I do 90% of the housework, I work part time and I've said he can go out regularly for evenings/hobbies if he needs a break from us but I'm just not sure what else to offer. And in all honesty, I'm actually struggling with my own MH, currently having a regular slot with a MH nurse due to anxiety and depression so I'm really a little stuck here and not sure what more I can do here.
Please does anyone have any advice on what I could do to ease the burden for him? When he is happy, our family is brilliant but more often than not he is annoyed and irritable and it takes its toll.
I could say so much but this is pretty long so I'll leave it there but please feel free to ask if you need more info.