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Original poster

To think turning 40 is liberating

27 replies

Fuckityfucks · 22/12/2024 16:24

I turned 40 (still young) 6 months ago and it's like a switch has gone off.

I no longer give so much of a shit about pleasing people or what anyone thinks.

It's liberating!

I can't believe I've wasted so much energy in the past going to events I didn't want to attend, or making effort with crap friends, or doing a favour as it was the 'right' thing only for it never to be appreciated or favour returned.

I'm kind and considerate with loved friends and family, but the crap selfish people can do one.

I've been such a mug in the past.

Loving being 40!!

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UpUpUpU · 24/12/2024 08:52

Same! I am 41 and all my fucks have gone.

I got very publicly shouted at at work, by a man last week. It was the partner of a woman in my care and he had decided they wanted to go home (she was happy on the ward getting breastfeeding support) and I very politely and professionally told him to get back in his box and not be so disrespectful. He walked off muttering and 2 younger women in my team were both amazed I wasn't in floods of tears and in awe id had the balls to put him in his place. They asked if I was alright and I just smiled and said wait until you are my age 😂

I also dont care what people think of me now either. I have a fabulous son and partner who love me, a fabulous wider family, an incredibly rewarding job and everything I need. Anything and everyone else is just not important anymore.

SexAndCakes · 23/12/2024 00:12

I honestly think the variability expressed here may have to do with oestrogen levels. I hit peri around age 40 - though didn't know it at the time - and since oestrogen dropped I couldn't give a fuck about 90% of the things that used to consume my energy. Liberating as hell.

Crushed23 · 23/12/2024 00:04

Ooh I love this. Well done.

It hit me in my early 30s.

I now try to live by "other people's opinion of me is none of my business".

OriginalUsername2 · 22/12/2024 23:52

Amen 🙏

mrlistersgelfbride · 22/12/2024 23:48

I'm 40 in 2 months and for the last year or so I've definitely given less of a shit what people think!
Unfortunately it's come with a few more wrinkles.
Oh well I think that's a fair swap 😅 certainly does feel liberating!

unsync · 22/12/2024 23:04

Great thread and so true. If only we could be like this in our teens and twenties, we'd be invincible.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 22/12/2024 22:59

ThePoshUns · 22/12/2024 17:49

Wait until you get to 50, it's even better!

That's what came to say!!

Hertzdonut · 22/12/2024 22:27

I will be forty soon. I definitely care a lot less about what people think than I did years ago but I attribute that mainly to becoming a parent and having gone through a very difficult time with my mh. I wouldn’t describe the feeling as liberating. On balance I’m not even sure it’s a positive thing. In general I’m less excited about life, less hopeful about the future. Feels like it ties in with that. So YANBU to say that’s how you feel but nothing particular happens when people turn forty to make it “liberating”, I think this is just something people say nowadays.

TinglyandCurious · 22/12/2024 22:24

Turned 40 a couple of months ago and I feel the same. This is my decade and so happy to be here 🙂

ThePoshUns · 22/12/2024 22:19

frogpigdonkey · 22/12/2024 22:14

Seconding the 50 is better. But really, something we all need to internalise- no one really gives a shit about you except those close to you. I mean that in a very positive way- all the self consciousness, all the worries about how people take things- no one really gives a shit. We are all far too self obsessed to notice it. So be you and do you- don't be an arsehole for the sake of it, but don't spend time worrying about what people who have zero influence and zero interest in your life think about you!

Absolutely agree. Once you realise no one really gives a toss about you, nor you them it's so liberating.

thismummydrinksgin · 22/12/2024 22:15

Exactly how I feel in my 40s!

frogpigdonkey · 22/12/2024 22:14

Seconding the 50 is better. But really, something we all need to internalise- no one really gives a shit about you except those close to you. I mean that in a very positive way- all the self consciousness, all the worries about how people take things- no one really gives a shit. We are all far too self obsessed to notice it. So be you and do you- don't be an arsehole for the sake of it, but don't spend time worrying about what people who have zero influence and zero interest in your life think about you!

WhatMe123 · 22/12/2024 22:12

Yup I turned 40 this year and I'm the same. All of a sudden I literally cannot give a second care about what others think/ it's really liberating isn't it

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/12/2024 22:11

I’m 43 and still give too many fucks about what too many dicks think about me. I’m having counselling though

Biroclicker · 22/12/2024 22:10

I'm 40 and a massive people pleasing mess still.

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 22/12/2024 22:09

ThePoshUns · 22/12/2024 17:49

Wait until you get to 50, it's even better!

Yep. You’ll have to change your name to NoFuckityfucks by then.

twistyizzy · 22/12/2024 22:07

Love my 40s. Zero fucks given about most things now especially how people perceive me. DH is still hung up about appearance/behaviour etc. I couldn't give a rat's ass.

SavageTomato · 22/12/2024 22:00

Totally rocks post 40 and 50. Have a fucking blast!!!

creamsnugjumper · 22/12/2024 21:56

ThePoshUns · 22/12/2024 17:49

Wait until you get to 50, it's even better!

God I hope so I've got 4 months left and I'm a bit excited.

DaphneLaurel · 22/12/2024 21:55

It's great to hear some positive stories of being post 40!!
(Turning 40 in a few months)

Devilsmommy · 22/12/2024 21:42

I've felt like this for my whole 30's, I'm 38 now so if it's just going to keep getting better then bring it on 😂

ColinOfficeTrolley · 22/12/2024 21:32

Yes!!! I'm 47 now and I honestly fucking love it.

I look at my 16yo dd, dying of embarrassment at tings and worrying about what peers think of her and I'm like 'oh love, it does get better'

My 40's have been my finest era with regards to confidence, happiness, being comfortable in my body, self-acceptance etc.

stargazerlil · 22/12/2024 21:16

Fuckityfucks · 22/12/2024 18:14

Tell me more!

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60 you turn into one of those women no one messes with. It’s great.

countrygirl99 · 22/12/2024 18:15

And 60 is even better than 50! No shits given 😁

Original poster
Fuckityfucks · 22/12/2024 18:14

ThePoshUns · 22/12/2024 17:49

Wait until you get to 50, it's even better!

Tell me more!

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